Klovn Forever Page #4

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- Why the f*** was the dog licking you?

I don't know. It happened in a split

second. I thought it was you, and...

What the f*** did you think

was about to happen?

You thought I was gonna lick your

foreign a**hole? F*** you, motherf***er.

Sit your ass down. I'm gonna get

my niggas. We gonna f*** you up!

- F*** this sh*t, motherf***er!

- Where are you going, Desiree?

F***...

- ... some animal sh*t...

- ... whoop his ass all day.

Casper...

- Casper?

- What the f***?

We have to get out of here.

- What are you doing?

- It's an emergency.

- English! What happened?

- The boys from the street are coming.

Casper, come on!

Come on!

- What now?

- That way!

Why are you runnin'?

Are we being followed?

- We did it, Frank!

- Did we lose them?

- Hush-hush. Woop, woop!

- That was hush-hush for sure.

That was wild!

Wild!

Such a good boy...

That's right.

- Look, Frank! It loves me!

- No, don't do that, dog.

- Don't let it lick you.

- It's a dog, Frank! It's safe.

You don't know

where its tongue's been.

- You sure saw some action.

- Hell, yeah.

- Did you get a p*ssy snout?

- I actually did.

But I'm feeling a bit...

Listen...

It feels like something's stuck.

Inside my nose.

- Can't you tell by my voice?

- From her peepee?

I'm not sure the p*ssy snout

is a good idea.

- It was never a good idea.

- What the hell am I doing?

- It's a shame if you sell the house.

- Why?

- Because of you and me.

- You never come by, what do you care?

That's...

- That was a mistake on my part.

- I want to go home, Frank.

- Please read the friendship book.

- We have a giant party to plan.

That party is mega important.

The Great Dane.

Alright!

Where's the dog, Frank?

Don't worry about it.

It was weird.

Hoyt!

It was an accident!

- Morning, CC.

- Morning.

- What up, Battle Cat?

- Franko!

Very funny, Battle Cat.

Very funny.

I love it when he makes that sound.

Frank, do like this.

- What did you do to your hair?

- What do you mean?

You have no hair up top.

You look like an ass! Upstairs!

- What the hell is that?

- You're bald on top!

- It's terrible! I don't want to see it!

- It was shaved off!

- Why did you do that, you idiot?

- I didn't!

- It was worn off?

- It's Hoyt!

- Hoyt?

- She scalped me. Indian style!

- I touched the stupid dreamcatcher!

- Stop! Stop whatever the hell this is.

- It makes no sense.

- She put up a Navajo dreamcatcher.

I touch it. She scalps me.

Indian logic.

No, Indian logic is bow and arrow

and teepee and...

Wear a hat to the party!

And I never wanted hats at the party!

I can't believe you're gonna wear a hat!

In her 5 days here, she's been great -

- and then you come over, and there's

dreamcatcher on a willy and hair...

You're not saying anything to Hoyt!

Stop, stop.

F***, this is great!

I've been looking forward to this

for years. The Great Dane in LA.

Yes!

And I'd like to thank you all for coming

and for supporting the project.

You're all amazing!

Some deserve special thanks. I want

to thank my lovely daughter Cille.

She's here supporting me in my project.

And I'd like to thank Morten Breum

who'll play for us!

Last but not least, there's one

individual I owe special thanks.

Someone who, for years,

has meant the world to me -

- and who is my closest friend,

my oldest friend. Give it up for...

...Battle Cat!

And just to prove my point,

Battle Cat just told me -

- that we'll have an extra guest.

Ladies and gentlemen: Adam Levine!

Welcome, everyone!

Do you think it's fair to scalp me?

I mean... why?

I have work to do.

Let me introduce you to some people.

Murray, my good friend.

- How are you?

- This guy is writing for HBO.

- And this is...

- Whoa, hey!

Frank. Have you seen that?

Adam Levine from Maroon 5.

'Moves like Jagger'!

This is a game changer for Casper.

A game changer, Frank!

Okay.

Good thing he came, then.

- This is it, man.

- It's so beautiful.

They're beautiful people.

So sweet.

A buddy of mine was born

to American parents.

They left him on the doorstep

of this reservation -

- and he wound up being raised by these

native Americans. They took him in.

Fed him, clothed him and raised him.

S'up, man?

How are you doing?

I just heard that you've visited

native Americans.

- Yeah.

- And that you're fond of them.

I'm sure there are wonderful, wonderful

native Americans around -

- but I can tell you

there are shitholes, too.

- Shitholes?

- I can point out... That's the woman.

What could this sweet woman have

possibly done. Did you upset her?

- She scalped me.

- That's just straight up racist.

Look!

Holy sh*t!

- Look!

- Is that a joke?

I can't tell if he's joking or not.

Wow, you just killed the vibe in here.

- That's an evil Indian!

- Please don't...

- You're a f***ing a**hole.

- She scalped me, man!

- F***ing Dutch people.

- Hey, we had a discussion!

Wow, he really took offense.

Having a good time?

What the hell? What's going on?

He said something to Adam Levine.

What the hell is going on, Frank?

Where's Adam?

F***!

Adam! Wait!

It just kinda escalated.

It was both of us.

We are two about it.

You have to be two to... an argument.

What the f*** was that?

I was gone for one second!

And you ruin everything! Where the hell

is the Great Dane party now?

- You're the biggest moron I know.

- I'm not the moron!

- You're a moron!

- You're a f***ing moron.

You come here at 46 to make it big!

- As what? The Mummy?

- You're talking sh*t!

I came to tell you there's stuff

in Denmark you can build on!

- Hello! There's nothing back home!

- There's our friendship book.

Shut up about that shitty book!

I'm never gonna read it!

I don't want to deal with you anymore.

No more.

We've run out of gas. It's over.

I'm done with it.

Wanna go, Battle Cat?

Frank, the f***-up.

- Hey, Frank.

- Hi, Cille.

Are you okay?

- Not quite?

- Not really.

I understand.

Casper totally overreacted.

So don't lose your cool over it.

That's just how he is.

That's sweet of you,

but it's too late...

- Did it completely flatten you?

- Totally.

Have a drink

and think of something else.

- Did everybody leave?

- Yeah.

- Another bright item for my CV.

- You emptied a party.

- This tastes like crap.

- Yep.

- Let's get in the pool.

- Yeah, why not.

- I'll just get my trunks.

- No, f*** that. You don't need 'em.

- I'm not wearing trunks?

- No! Nobody's home!

Everyone's asleep.

There's nobody around.

Here we go! Woohoo!

- It's gorgeous. Just amazing.

- Is it nice?

Here I come!

It's cold!

What a pick-me-up!

I needed this.

This is the best thing on this trip.

Come see the view.

It's beautiful.

You can see the entire city.

It's awesome.

- I think we should have sex, Frank.

- What?

We should have sex.

- Stop it, Cille.

- You're leaving soon anyway.

I'm serious.

Cille, for God's sake.

Let's have sex.

What the hell are you doing, Cille?

I can't return that favour...

Morning, Frank.

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