Klovn Forever Page #6

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- 12.

- I'd need a stop watch!

- 30.

- 30 seconds? Okay. Fine.

It's a deal. 1-1, Frank.

An eye for an eye when you screw up.

Say hi to the family.

What the hell?!

Sweetie! Little sweetie!

Was it fun to swim with daddy?

Was it fun?

I think he's tired.

The event at Gyldendal Publishers

is kinda exciting, Frank.

'Christmas reception'. My parents

can watch the kids, so I can join you.

- Would you like that?

- Sure...

I want to see my clever husband,

that I'm quite proud of.

And we're going to Gyldendal's no less.

Together with the elite.

- I thought we might cuddle a little.

- Now?

I've healed.

It's lovely down there now. Come.

I'm having an idea...

Why don't we make a really big deal

out of you healing so beautifully -

- and celebrate it, perhaps in a hotel?

At the Phoenix.

Like in the old days.

- And a really nice...

- Have you been planning this, honey?

Sure, I've thought about it.

I'd love to.

A whole day without the kids?

Staying in a hotel. Being naughty.

Would you like that?

- Just making love. Hm?

- Yes.

So, do we have a plan?

May I have a kiss?

- Yeah...

- I can't wait for Wednesday.

- I love you, honey.

- I love you, too, sweetie.

It's always all about the kids, and then

you tend to forget about each other.

And all the erotic stuff.

Look how beautiful, honey.

- Good evening.

- A room?

Yes, a room for Hvam.

- Room 1218.

- Thank you.

There, my sweet.

I was thinking... When we begin,

perhaps we could...

Would you like to try it blind?

- Blind?

- Blindfolded...

- Oh... sure, I'd like that.

- I just thought...

- It's been ages since we...

- Did you bring a blindfold?

- I brought one just in case.

- I'd like that.

I'll get comfortable, honey.

- We're doing it now, right, honey?

- Yes, I'm taking off the cover...

Let's get it over with...

I mean, let's get to it.

Hi, honey.

- It's a bit tight.

- Can you see anything?

No.

- I'll just get undressed.

- Mmm.

Are you coming, honey?

I'm right here.

- Are you naked?

- Almost there.

- I can't wait to feel you.

- Right...

Are you coming, honey?

- What?

- Why aren't you wearing a condom?

- Is she sick?

- No!

- You have to wear a rubber!

- Give it a f***ing rest!

For a 30-second f***,

I'm not gonna waste a condom!

- I bought some.

- You're so f***ing clever.

What the hell are you doing, man?

We had a deal! It has to be 1-1!

- It's not gonna happen.

- You know what that means.

Then it's not 1-1!

We're not even!

You'll live to regret it, Frank.

Something's happening, sweetie.

I just had to get out of my briefs.

- What's wrong, honey?

- I don't know. Jet lag maybe.

I'm not sure I can, honey.

I'm so disappointed in myself.

Look how beautiful.

- Do I look okay?

- Just checking if Casper texted.

Shall we?

- Hi, Johannes.

- Hello. Welcome.

- Congratulations on your book.

- Thank you. Have you seen Casper?

He's around somewhere.

I saw him arrive.

I'm sure you'll spot him.

- Hi.

- Hello.

Hi. Frank.

Look! Ib Michael.

Hi.

Congratulations on your book.

A whole new world is opening up.

- Yes.

- To exist in print, too.

Hello, everyone.

Welcome to the Gyldendal

Christmas gathering.

This year we are fortunate enough

to be able to combine it with -

- two important publications.

Ib Michael's 'Reflections',

a story from the seven seas.

And 'Friendship Through Storms',

a friendship book -

- with Casper Christensen

and Frank Hvam. It's on its way -

- and a fresh

conversation piece for today.

I'll happily kick this off.

Merry Christmas, everyone.

I'm sorry to inform you

that this book will not be published.

Don't laugh. It's true.

Let me share with you why.

I just threw a bash in LA, and what

happens is that Frank decides to...

...yes, let's put the cards

on the table, Frank.

During this party,

Frank fucks my daughter.

Yes, it's true.

Let's put it up on the monitor.

I give you the evidence.

- That's not Frank.

- That's not me!

It's my daughter, Cille, it's Frank,

and it's a sunbed and it's LA.

No! That's not me!

It's someone who looks like me!

It's all blurry.

No one can see a thing!

Exhibit number one! Baldy!

Hey, hey, hey!

Mia!

We don't hit authors here.

Only critics.

Honey!

Mia!

Honey... honey!

Open the door, so we can talk about it!

Honey!

Honey! Honey!

Mia?

Honey?

We're here for Mia's toothbrush

and stuff.

- I'd better get it myself.

- Can we talk for a minute, honey?

I don't think so.

- Frank, that's not a good idea.

- But I have to talk to her, Tina.

- What about?

- The kids and... what we do now.

- Honey?

- You have five minutes.

You can have five minutes.

This... is just about the worst thing

you can do in a relationship.

It's like throwing a hand grenade

at another human being.

That hurts! And then it detonates,

and then it hurts again. Disgusting!

May I have a word with my wife?

What do we do, honey?

I need space and...

I'll take the kids for Christmas.

Don't contact me.

Throughout Christmas.

I'll go get my things.

Honey! I just got a text from Cille.

She's having her period!

- So she's not pregnant.

- Did you f*** her without a condom?

Damn...

- Come, Tina.

- Disgusting, Frank.

I thought you knew that, honey?

That someone had told you...

Frank!

How's your blog going?

Merry Christmas.

vlisen?

The book on everybody's lips,

but which nobody has read.

And they never will, according to you.

Welcome. Why shouldn't we read it?

Because it's a book about

two people that were friends.

- The friendship is over.

- Why does it evoke such emotion?

Frank was my friend for many years,

and he completely betrayed me.

That obviously resulted in a breakdown

between us, which was painful but...

Frank!

Standing here all by your lonesome?

- Hi, Ulrich.

- What are you doing?

- Eating a hotdog.

- Haven't had one forever. One hotdog!

- What's up, my boy? You look miserable.

- I don't know if you heard...

Heard what? I have good news.

Tonight, a truckload of your books leaves

the harbor. It'll be all over the country.

- The friendship book?

- How many other books did you write?

- But Casper doesn't want it published.

- He's always complaining.

- I've had it with his bullshit.

- Just 'cause you've got money in this?

- Sure, that's part of it.

- But Casper will get hurt.

Casper will get hurt?

Shut up...

This tastes like sh*t.

Frank, you and Casper...

were you ever really that close?

Thanks for dinner.

Hey! You didn't pay!

Taxi!

- To the harbor.

- Looking for a good time?

- A good time?

- That's where the hookers are.

No, no, no, no...

I just have to get there.

- Oh, okay.

- I'm going to steal a truck.

Stop!

Yes! There it is!

Here! Stop.

Thank you. Keep the change.

- Yes?

- Hello? Excuse me!

- Lars?

- Hi, Frank.

What are you doing?

- I'm just on... Night Owl duty.

- Okay.

- And this is part of your duties?

- Yes, it's all part of it.

We'll talk about it some other time.

I need your help. I need a hand.

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