Knocked Up Page #3
Yeah, it's awesome.
I just doubled my record time.
Oh, yeah. You did.
I'm sorry,
I'm sweating on you.
Okay, just stop talking.
F*** off, Martin.
I said, f*** off, Martin.
Hi.
Oh. Hey.
Hey.
I'm naked.
Yeah.
Did we have sex?
Yes.
Nice.
What time is it?
Why the f*** are we awake?
Let's go back to sleep.
I have to go to work.
Really?
Do you need to get
to work or anything?
No, I'm... No work today.
Do you wanna get breakfast?
Okay.
Morning.
Good morning, Allison.
I'm Ben.
What's happening, man?
Ben.
How's it going?
Ah, to be young.
Stop it.
You stop it.
Okay, see you later.
All righty.
See you later. Enjoy the day.
Never do what they did.
I'm gonna do it.
You are? Uh-oh. Someone's
getting home-schooled.
I just yacked something nasty.
I feel way better, though.
I think that's like
the secret. Like you gotta...
I mean, once you're hung-over,
you just gotta puke.
It feels so... Did you puke?
No.
You can. I won't think
it's gross or anything.
Oh, that's okay, I'm fine.
Okay.
I just need some coffee, so...
You know, the best thing
for a hangover is weed.
Do you smoke...
Do you smoke weed?
Not really.
You don't?
No.
At all?
Mmm-mmm.
Like in the morning?
No, I just don't.
You know, it's like...
It is like the best medicine.
Because it fixes everything.
He just got high,
and it still clicks,
but, I mean, he's okay.
Right.
Yeah.
Last night was great,
what I remember of it.
Right, yeah.
Yeah, no, it was fun.
We had a great time.
Yeah.
So what do you do?
I work at E!
The television channel?
Uh-huh.
Remember?
Wow!
We had this
conversation last night.
I told you about my promotion.
I was out celebrating it.
No?
No.
I don't remember that at all.
Yeah. I'm super
excited about it.
I'm actually doing my first
on-air interview today, so...
With who?
Matthew Fox.
Matthew Fox from Lost?
Yeah.
You know what's interesting
about him?
What?
Nothing.
What?
Will you tell him
he's an a**hole for me?
No.
Someone needs to.
Like who gives a sh*t?
Well, I hope a lot of people,
actually, because that's
what my job entails
what he has to say.
I'm interviewing him.
Maybe it's just me. Maybe
I just don't give a sh*t.
I'm just saying
he deserves a beat-down.
Actually, it's sort
of embarrassing
to ask at this point,
but what do you do for work?
Me and my roommates
have started a... We're
starting an Internet website.
Oh, cool. What is it?
I'll give you the virtual
experience, okay? How's that?
You're at your computer.
Mmm-hmm.
Who's an actress you like?
Mary Tyler Moore?
No.
That does not work at all.
No?
No.
Okay.
Let's say you love Meg Ryan.
I do.
Great. Who doesn't?
Yeah.
Let's say you like her so much
where she shows her tits.
And not just that,
but how long into that
movie she shows her tits.
You come to our
web page exclusively.
Type in "Meg Ryan." Bam!
In the Cut, 38 minutes in,
like an hour and 10 minutes...
She's, like, naked
that whole f***ing movie.
She does full frontal
in that movie.
Wow.
They should've called her
Harry, not Sally.
Really.
I'll show it to you.
I'll show you Meg Ryan's bush.
Okay.
Cool.
Yeah, I actually need
to get going, so...
Well, could...
Can I get your number?
I mean, I don't...
We had fun, right?
We should hook up again.
I'm gonna give you my card
'cause that'll be
the best way to...
Well, I mean, if you want
to contact me, I don't have
a cell, right now,
because of
payment complications.
But, I mean, you can e-mail me
at the web page. I check...
It's just Ben
at flesh-of-the-stars,
one word, dot-com.
Yeah.
Yeah. Okay.
Okay.
So, awesome.
All right, then.
Nice to meet you.
Yeah. Okay.
Bye. Take care.
See you.
Bye!
That was f***ing brutal.
Yeah, that was brutal.
It was a huge mistake.
What's a mistake?
Nothing. Nothing that we need
to talk about right now.
Why did you do it?
Aunty Allison drank
too much chocolate milk.
And I was feeling weird
because of that.
And I made a...
I think that's enough.
Okay.
Did he wear a condom?
Yes.
Thank God.
Do you think
you'll do it again?
No, no way.
She was totally
repulsed by me.
What?
She just really
didn't seem to like me.
Like, she wasn't laughing at my jokes.
I mean, I'm like a funny guy.
F***ing funny as balls.
Hilarious, man.
I'm giving her the A sh*t.
Nothing. She thought our
web page was a bad idea.
What?
That f***ing stuck-up b*tch.
Yeah, I think so, too.
I think it's awesome
that you had sex with her.
If a goofy guy like you
had sex with her, I feel like
I had sex with her also.
I was so drunk.
I just wish I remembered it.
Hi, I'm Allison Scott.
And we're here today with
James Franco from Spider-Man.
How are you?
Great, great.
Thanks for coming.
Of course.
Tell me, were you
a big fan of the...
I'm sorry,
let me take that again.
Okay.
Tell me, were you a big fan
of the comic books growing up?
No, actually,
I didn't read any of
I got the movie and then...
Are you okay?
Mmm-hmm.
Yeah, just what about
the comic books?
Just keep talking.
Like I said,
I really wasn't into them,
but now that I did
the research, I think they're
pretty amazing, like...
Sh*t.
What the f***?
Is that the sound
of you puking?
If this is one of those
f***ing joke shows,
I'm not into it.
We should put this on YouTube.
Shut up.
This is hilarious.
You're an a**hole.
Look how sweaty you are.
You look like Dom DeLuise.
I don't need to see it again.
You look like
Jabba the Hutt dying.
You're such an a**hole.
I'm just jerking your chain.
I'll fix this. No problem.
Yeah, maybe if you can just
edit this out, and we can...
We can reshoot my questions.
What's up?
Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
No, no, no. Over here.
Not on the mix board,
not on the mix board, here.
Are you okay?
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Are you sick?
I don't know.
What'd you eat?
I haven't eaten today yet.
You haven't...
Do you have, like,
a napkin or something?
Here, here.
What, do you have,
like, the flu?
I don't know.
God, I hope
you're not pregnant.
It's impossible. You have
to have sex to get pregnant.
B.K. It's Brent Master Five.
Allison just puked.
Dude, that's what I said.
She's probably
pregnant, right?
Oh, sh*t.
How does she look right now?
She looks like
she just realized
that she's pregnant.
No, I can't be
pregnant. Right?
I mean that was, what?
Eight weeks ago?
When was that?
Mmm-hmm.
Did you miss your period?
No. Wait.
I don't know.
Sh*t. I don't know.
I can't remember.
I was... I mean, I've been
really stressed at work.
I can't remember
my last period.
Are you the lady who doesn't
realize she's pregnant
till she's sitting
on the toilet
and a kid pops out?
Can you not joke right now?
Don't joke right now.
This is really serious.
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"Knocked Up" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 22 Dec. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/knocked_up_11948>.
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