Knots Page #6

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Turn around.

We'll take a break

for a second.

Thank you for meeting me.

What do you want, Cal?

l just want to talk to you.

Then talk.

Can't we walk?

You want to walk

and talk? Fine.

l'm really sorry, Emily.

Great. ls that it?

No, that's not it.

You really look great.

What do you want, Cal?

You've been hanging out

with Jake a lot, huh?

Yeah. He's been

really supportive.

Emily, marry me.

What?

Are you crazy?

l'm ready to make

a commitment.

Well, l was committed,

but you were too busy...

screwing your way through

a Victoria's Secret catalog.

You are the best thing

that ever happened to me...

and l refuse to let you go

without a fight.

l just...l need

to think for a second.

While you're thinking,

take a look at this.

Oh, my God.

l swear to you, l am

through with other women.

l've sown my wild oats,

and statistically speaking...

l'm less likely

to cheat on you...

or have a mid-life

crisis at this point.

Wait a second.

How do l know that

you're being honest?

Just because you're

giving me some ring?

An incredibly gorgeous ring?

How do l know...

that you're not going

to betray me again?

A prenuptial agreement?

lt says here

that if l cheat on you...

you're entitled to 70%

of everything that l have.

Well, l thought 70% was fair.

lt is, but it's not about that.

lt's the fact that

you're giving yourself...

an economic incentive

not to cheat on me.

l don't think you're seeing

the big picture here.

l wouldn't do this

if l didn't think that...

l could do this.

Emily, l love you so much.

Emily, please marry me.

She said yes.

Who?

Emily. We're getting married.

What?

That's right. l saw her today

and she agreed to marry me.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

That seems awfully drastic, Cal.

l needed to do

something drastic, David.

l needed to turn

my life around.

Yeah, but are you sure

you're ready for this...

l mean, to be faithful?

You do know you're going

to have to be faithful, right?

Yes, yes, l know.

l'm giving you the best news

of my life here.

You're supposed

to be happy for me.

l come into the apartment,

it's like something...

out of ''lnvasion

of the Body Snatchers.''

Where are you hiding the pods?

Where's my friend Cal?

What are you talking about?

You can't just change overnight.

You are who you are.

You know what?

F*** you.

F*** you,

and f*** your pods.

Just because your life

is in the toilet...

doesn't mean everyone else

has to live there, too.

l don't want everyone

to live in the toilet!

lt's just that--

Christ, Dave, you know what?

l ask you over here to see

if you want to be my best man...

and you're acting like l just

took a dump on your forehead.

Your best man?

Yes.

God.

Well?

OK, sure.

l'll be your best man.

Ah, yes. Thank you.

l got to tell you,

l've never been more sure...

of anything

in my whole entire life.

l could kiss you.

There. l just did.

Yep. Come in.

Hey! What a nice surprise.

Can l come in?

Sorry. l thought

you'd be out.

l just wanted to get

some of my stuff.

Don't worry about it.

So, l see you've painted...

and unpacked.

Seems like you're

really settling in here.

Dave, don't make this

more difficult than it is.

Oh, l'm sorry.

l'm being difficult?

l'm not the one

who decided to embark...

on some kind of

lesbian sex odyssey.

l mean, how the f***...

could you do this

all of a sudden?

lt's like the way you drive.

You don't use your signals.

You've got to give a person

some kind of a warning.

What are you talking about?

l'm talking about

giving a person a warning...

some signals,

not blind-siding somebody.

You remember that time

we drove out to the beach...

and you side-swiped

that old guy in the Lincoln?

l mean, that was because

you weren't using your signals.

You tried to merge without--

Shut up!

l don't think

you have any idea...

how hard this is on me, too.

Yeah. Yeah. l mean, l...

l know this is hard for you...

and l know...

we've had our problems, but...

there was good stuff, too.

There was.

There was. There is.

l don't know.

l'm sorry about the other day

at the lawyer's office.

l feel horrible about that.

Me, too.

l miss you, Greta.

l miss you, Dave.

You are the most important

thing in my life...

and l love you.

l'm sorry.

Oh, no, shh.

lt's OK.

l'm sorry, Dave.

lt's OK.

Wow.

Holy sh*t.

l mean, Jesus, Greta.

Where the hell did you...

l mean, Jesus.

l can't remember the last time

it was this great.

Can you?

Oh, my God.

And it wasn't just me, right?

This was great.

Oh, wow. Unreal.

Yeah, sweetie?

l'm a lesbian.

What?

l'm a lesbian.

l'm a lesbian!

Stop saying that.

l finally figured out

that this is who l am...

and, Dave, l can't change that.

Oh, my God!

l never meant to hurt you.

You know, what do you think

you're going to do, Greta...

go back to Lily?

Because she doesn't want you.

This has nothing

to do with Lily, Dave.

This has to do with me.

l'm a lesbian!

l heard you!

And stop saying that!

You're a lesbian!

Can't you be happy for me?

No, l can't be happy for you.

l mean, you get to have this

life-affirming revelation...

after taking me on

this f***ing roller coaster!

And just when l think it's over,

the bottom drops out!

No, l can't be happy for you!

My life's a f***ing mess!

Dave, l'm sorry.

You know what?

Sorry's not good enough.

You thought

the other day was bad?

Yeah. Well, this...

this is going to get ugly.

Are you all right?

No, l'm not all right.

l give my love

and devotion to a woman...

who turns out to be

an emotional ''La Femme Nikita.''

And l think

l just tore my A.C.L.!

Oh, my God.

F*** you!

People talk about a relationship

enduring the test of time.

l'm sure everyone wants it...

but the key is,

how do you get it?

The Egyptians.

The Egyptians knew.

They started the pyramids.

See, they knew

they were building...

something that had to

last and last and last.

Sure, they started

with a strong foundation...

but the secret is...

the placement

of that very first stone.

The pyramids?

Now, l know we just met,

but this feels like...

that was what we have

working here, you know?

First stone...

l'm Cal Scoppa.

Cal Scoppa...photographer?

You're familiar with my work?

l've heard your name

in certain circles.

And your name is?

Wouldn't it make

where we're headed...

a lot more fun if we

just kept it anonymous?

No offense...

but l'm not really into

building anything long-term.

l would be up

for a good time, though...

if that was OK with you.

F*** the Egyptians.

Great.

So, what other kind of

photography do you do?

Oh, don't stop!

Don't stop!

OK, stop.

What the hell do you want?

Can l come in?

Please.

Quit smoking,

what, two years ago?

Yeah. l quit with you.

Quite a buzz the first one

gives you, l gotta say.

What brought this on?

She doesn't love me.

Emily?

No, my mom.

She called to say she never has.

Seemed real apologetic, though.

Yeah, Emily.

Jake, listen--

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