Landmine Goes Click Page #3

freaking Alicia out, okay,

so let's just calm down...

Answer

the f***ing question!

What are the chances?

I'd say the chances

are pretty low.

And you'd be right.

But here you are...

Standing on a landmine,

totally screwed.

How did you know

that was there?

'Cause it's right

where I left it.

You want help?

There it is.

I suggest you use it.

What am I supposed

to do with that?

You dig, b*tch.

Dig a trench

right beside of me, okay,

And then real quick,

you jump in there

like a bunny.

Maybe you make it,

maybe your leg

gets blown off.

Or maybe the trench

that she digs

Ends up being

your grave or something.

You planned

this whole thing.

No, no,

devi planned it,

But the pleasure

is all mine.

Daniel...

Why are you doing this?

Love of my life,

the woman I wanted to marry.

You still

don't understand.

Understand what?

It's not

what I'm doing,

It's what

I've already done.

This is bullshit.

This is bullshit,

there's no...

- There's no mine.

- Wanna bet your life?

You wouldn't risk it.

You've been standing

next to me the whole time,

What if I accidentally

moved my foot?

That's true.

There's no way I'm actually

standing on an armed mine.

You are now, jagoff.

That right there

is an east German model

Smi-35 landmine.

And it ain't no dud.

If you ever

loved me, stop.

It's too late.

I can't.

I couldn't

even if I wanted to,

But I really,

really don't.

Daniel,

Daniel, I f***ed up,

Okay, I know

I f***ed up,

But for God's sake,

man, don't do this!

I already did.

You already did, man.

You think you stepped

on a landmine today?

Let me tell you

something, buddy boy,

You stepped

on a landmine

When you decided

to f*** my girl!

You know what,

put the pin back in.

Daniel, put the pin back in

and we can talk about it.

Do you, oh, do you

want the pin?

- Do you want the pin?

- [Chris] Put the pin back in!

[Alicia]

Daniel, where...

Where are you going?

I wish I could

be here to see what happens,

But I bet the ending's

gonna be explosive.

Do you have any idea

what you're doing?

Adios,

lovebirds!

Wait, no,

you can't go.

Don't...

Don't leave like this.

Listen to me,

what happened

Between me

and Chris was a mistake.

I love you!

We're getting married,

this has nothing to do

with our future.

Baby...

Now is not the time

to be sentimental, okay?

Now's

the time to dig.

Alicia,

don't come any closer.

Stop,

don't come any closer.

How are you?

I'm f***ed.

That motherf***er's

gonna pay for this!

It's murder!

Oh, f***.

No, we're gonna figure

this out, I just...

I just meant

in legal terms.

That's okay.

Uh, Alicia, could you

do me a favor,

Could you...

could you go stand

behind the rock, please?

Behind the rock?

Daniel's trying to kill you

and you want me to hide?

I just want you

to stay safe.

I need you to be safe

While we figure

this thing out.

What if...

What

if we switch?

Devi!

Devi!

Hey.

Check it out.

We have

the front row seats.

Yeah, man,

I say we split.

Now?

Yeah, why not?

I thought we gonna

watch, maybe one hour.

Then we help her.

Yeah, man,

let them figure it out,

They deserve

each other.

We'll miss the fun.

You know what's fun?

Beer, strippers,

strippers and beer.

Ha, are you sure?

Yeah.

Okay, but first...

We'll go to [Mutters]

I want a big plate

of khinkali.

Khinkali?

Come on, man.

Come on up here.

I'll tell you what,

only Georgians

Take food before girls.

Correct, my brother,

it's hungry war.

I got it!

- I got it.

- You got it?

Oh, thank God.

Just, uh... throw it,

throw it over.

I'm not coming over

until you say so,

But you're gonna

have to let me do it.

- No, absolutely not.

- You have to let me do it,

Chris, you're gonna shift

your weight too much,

I mean it's under

your foot, can you see it?

No.

- So just say the word.

- I can't.

Yeah, okay, all right,

yeah, you're good.

Okay just,

Alicia, look at me,

just be careful.

Okay, let's just

go real slow.

Be easy and then

we're gonna put it in fast,

We're gonna

take it out fast, okay?

Be careful.

Maybe this chain

is in the way.

Here, use mine.

Okay.

I'm gonna

get off this thing.

All right,

rock and roll, here we go.

So i...

I know you have

to say this

When you're having

sex with Daniel,

But is it in yet?

I don't know, it's...

It's stuck, just...

What do you mean,

it's a simple mechanism,

Just plug it in

and it'll disarm

and we're good.

I'm not so sure

about that.

Is it in or not,

how can you not

be sure if it's in?

How do you not...

it's in a little,

but I can't...

It's in a little,

what the f*** does

that mean, Alicia,

What the hell's

going on?

What do you

want me to do?

[Whispers]

I'm so f***ed.

Oh my God,

I'm so f***ed.

You know what,

let me just...

I'm totally,

I'm totally f***ed.

I'm gonna leave it in.

Leave it in,

so it's in?

So I'm good,

I can step off now?

No, it can't be

trusted for that.

If you could see it,

you would understand.

No, f*** that,

if it's in then

I'm gonna go for it,

I'm gonna step off.

No, it can't, it's not,

we can't be sure!

No, if it's in,

then I'm sure, I'm just...

I'm gonna go for it,

-So get behind the rock and...

-oh you're sure,

you're f***ing sure,

Is that why I should

get behind the rock?

F*** you, Daniel,

f*** you, Daniel!

Listen to me!

We got the smoke signal,

someone's gonna see it,

We got the pin in,

so it should be disarmed,

But we don't know

for sure and it's

Not exactly worth

taking chances, right?

Yeah, yeah,

you're right.

We need

all the odds

in our favor,

So I know

what we have to do.

What?

What Daniel said.

What'd he say?

Dig.

B*tch.

[Birds chirping]

- [Speaking native language]

- [Dog panting]

[Muttering]

[Chris]

Help! Help!

- [Alicia] Help, help!

- [Speaking native language]

[Chris]

Is anybody there, help!

[Alicia]

Hello!

- [Yelling in native language]

- [Chris] Oh, sh*t!

No, no, stay back,

stay back!

[Shouting in native language]

Whoa, whoa, whoa,

do you speak English?

Please, please,

put the gun down.

Why would you

hurt the dog huh?

No, put the gun down,

I was just trying to...

Why would you

hurt the dog?

You don't understand,

my friend, he stepped on a...

on a landmine!

- You, turn around!

- He can't...

- Show me your hands!

- No, you don't understand.

I said,

show me your hands!

He can't move!

Please!

- Where's the body?

- Body, what are

you talking about?

- You bury body here!

- There's no body,

I don't know what

you're talking about,

just put the f***ing gun away.

You, come here.

He can't move!

- Put your hands on your head!

- He can't...

I can't... i can't move,

Stop being a f***ing

a**hole, dude!

[Gunshot]

Sh*t!

Please,

listen to me,

He is standing

on a bomb.

If he moves,

we all die.

Do you understand?

Is a bomb.

[Alicia]

Yeah, please,

keep the dog back.

[Speaking native language],

there's really a bomb.

Yeah, that's

why I can't move, man,

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