Larry Gaye: Renegade Male Flight Attendant Page #3

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It all started

when I was a little boy...

- Uh, Larry...

- Please don't interrupt.

You asked for the story.

Now let me tell it.

- No, but it's... -Hey!

Here's how it works up here.

When a veteran

is telling a rookie a story,

the rookie, you, listens,

sans interruption. Sans!

As I was saying,

I loved my father

more than anything.

So when he left me,

I was devastated.

- -Even if it was

only for a few minutes.

Well, you can imagine how upset

I was when he left for good.

Where are you going, Dad?

Hey-hey, there he is.

There he always is.

I'm... I'm...

I'm just going out to have

these suitcases polished.

But it's the middle

of the night.

Yes, it is. Yes, it is.

And there is a, uh,

24-hour suitcase polisher

over on State Street.

Oh, okay.

Good night.

Good night, Son.

Have a good life.

Until tomorrow morning,

when I will see you again

because I'm definitely

not running out on you

or your mother,

or the life of debt and

dysfunction we've built together.

But I wasn't stupid. It didn't

take long to figure out

that somewhere on his way to

the 24-hour suitcase polisher,

-he decided to leave for good.

My mom tried

everything she could

to take my mind off

the hurt of Dad leaving,

but nothing could distract me.

In an all-new episode of

Boys Whose Fathers Love Them

and Have Not Run Off

Unexpectedly...

No!

I knew of no way to make

the pain go away.

Until that moment,

when I realized that if I could be

way up in the clouds, then maybe

it would take me away from the

hurt I felt down on the ground.

And that's when I decided that

what I wanted more than anything

was to fly.

- Larry, behind you. -Yes,

that chapter was behind me.

Well observed.

Then, in 1995,

I went to flight school.

Building 5.

Orientation's on the right.

- Hi.

- Hi there.

I'm Gaye.

Really?

Uh...

I have a private bunk

with the only bathtub

in this whole facility.

Cadet Larry Gaye.

- Right. Uh, building 5. Orientation's

on the right. -Thank you.

That's what I'm talking about.

Here, here

and especially here.

Ladies and gentlemen, you need

to know these principles cold.

I had big dreams,

and even bigger confidence.

I was gonna be the best

damn pilot in the world.

All right.

Define lift. Gaye.

A positive force caused by the

difference in air pressure

- under and above a wing, sir.

- Drag?

The resistance of the air to

anything moving through it, sir!

And thrust?

Damn, he's good.

E, P, H,

- T, O, Z.

- Good.

The bottom line, please?

That's...

J, M, V...

No, no, no.

That's not correct.

Uh, actually, Doc,

I'm working off that chart.

- Are you kidding me?

- H, R,

S, C, C, F.

Copyright 1983,

printed in the Philippines.

Bastard.

Reduce airspeed 50 knots.

Lower angle of left wing.

Come on. Challenge me, bud.

I wasn't cocky. I just

knew what I was doing...

Deploy landing gear.

And bragged about it,

in an obnoxious way.

What's the matter?

You need to use your hands?

That's right. I was on my way

and nothing was gonna stop me.

So what happened?

All that was left

was the actual flying.

You're coming in too hot, Gaye.

You're... You're

way off course!

Gaye, can you hear me?

Gaye! Wake up!

Wake up, wake up.

Yeah, there's something

wrong with this kid.

Gaye, I've got some bad news.

And it's my job to give it to you in

the most professional way possible.

Guess what it is.

- Heart disease?

- No.

- Measles?

- You're getting cooler.

Oh, uh, okay, okay, okay, um...

- Nervous disorder.

- Mmm, mmm, mmm.

- That's warmer.

- Okay.

- Mumps?

- No, colder.

- Anemia.

- Oh, you're ice-cold.

Come on! Doc, just tell me.

- You have narcolepsy.

- Oh.

It's a neurological disorder

caused by the brain's inability

to regulate sleep-wake cycles.

In other words, you fall

asleep uncontrollably.

- That's ridic...

- Hmm?

Sorry, I thought

I had to sneeze.

Oh, I thought you

were having a stroke.

That's ridiculous.

- Yes!

So, my dreams of being a pilot were

smashed into a thousand pieces.

The only way I was gonna

fly was in this apron,

and Bryce and Felder

never let me forget it.

But it's all in the past.

Never even think about it.

I'm as happy as I seem.

I'm glad you're over it.

Someone's playing our song.

Ah.

Is there something

I can help you with?

I wanted to tell you how much

I'm enjoying the movie.

It's not Ice Age 2 or even

3, but it's a jaunty romp,

it's pleasantly paced.

Turbulence.

Excuse me for a second.

Oh! Uh, folks, folks, folks.

- We gave you the wrong

- License to Chill.

That was the director's cut, with

some scenes that had been omitted,

and I think wisely so.

Here's some more

family friendly entertainment.

How are you?

You were saying.

Perhaps someday you and I

could make a movie like that.

License to Chill?

No, I mean, I'd like you to make

love to me in every way imaginable.

Ooh.

Shall we ignore the fact that it smells

like Death's underpants in here?

Let's.

Okay, can I get you a drink?

- Vodka, rocks.

- Yes, it does.

Oh, right.

- Thank you.

That'll be $6.

- Oh.

- Hmm.

Oh.

Ah, yes. Um, do you

happen to have exact change?

No, I don't.

What are we gonna

do about that?

Here.

Where were we?

I wanna know

everything about you.

I want to feel

what it's like to touch you.

I want your body

to possess my body.

In a sexual way?

Hi, there.

So, uh, we're all out of beef stew,

would you like some lasagna?

Oh, but I love beef stew.

Oh, this sucks.

I apologize, sir.

- No!

- Okay, all right.

Oh, uh, glad

I could help, ma'am.

If anyone else needs

help with the faucets,

please don't hesitate to call,

they can be a tad tricky.

If you could just

give me one moment.

Hmm.

Presiding over an emergency

meeting of the Mile High Club.

Well, I'm glad you had fun.

We ran out of

beef stew, these people

are ready to kill me.

Did you tell them we ran out?

Okay, rookie, lesson one. It's not beef

stew they want, they just want a choice.

- But there is no... -Watch and

learn from a professional.

Oh, left the

luggage hatch open.

Folks, for dinner we have lasagna

or a stew of beef and brown lice.

Well, I'll have the lasagna.

Excellent choice, my dear.

Sir, would you like lasagna

or beef with cancer sauce?

- I better go for lasagna.

- I think you better, yeah.

Sir, lasagna or sliced

elderly human feet?

- Lasagna.

- Lasagna. Excellent choice.

Stick with me, Nath. You'll gain a mentor,

wingman and all-around fun captain,

and having you around might help ward off

my occasional crushing, empty loneliness.

The crushing,

empty loneliness you ignore?

What crushing,

empty loneliness?

Yeah!

Call me.

I will.

Yeah, yeah.

Whoa!

Oh!

Wow.

Can't believe all that stuff

happened in one day.

That's the life

of the sky, Nathan.

Every day is an incredible

series of fun, memorable events.

A montage, if you will.

- It was amazing.

- I know.

Although I did get strip

searched by a giant angry man.

And severely shocked

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