Lejdis Page #6

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December 31 st to 1 st January,

called New Year's Eve

by everyone except the Laydees,

they spent in a terrible mood.

The winter seemed to have no end.

And then, like a jack-in-the-box,

Valentine's Day suddenly

popped out of the calendar.

Valentine's Day

"The World of Insects."

Tybingowski! What

insects were recently?

- Eeeh... well... bugs... which...

- Me... May I, miss?

- If you must.

- The last lesson professor

showed us African butterflies,

Cera condon...

Acraea encedon, Rzepecka!

Encedon!

...and we learned that

over ninety per cent

of this species are females.

Because... Because...

I don't remember...

Because the males were eaten

away by bacteria, yes?

That's why they run

after any male.

The wisdom of the species

and despair of surviving!

- Professor said it!

- It's stupidity not wisdom.

Butterflies have such little brains.

Bigger creatures behave

equally stupid. Next subject:

"The reason for nailing

some bugs' heads!"

ucja, enough. Teaching children

about the genitals of butterflies.

Moths, Father,

Olceclostera seraphica.

Genitals on which you can play

serenades for their beloved? Enough!

I agree,

some males definitely overdo it.

How to get through to you, ucja?

I know times are tough.

I understand, I'm human, too.

But the patron of our school!

St. Bobola, we have an obligation.

The intangible

is most important, ucja!

I couldn't agree more, father.

My intangibles are

at least two sizes too small!

I'm talking about moral intangibles!

And stop annoying me!

You are the only biologist,

I couldn't fire if even I wanted.

I will try...

Let us hurry to love people,

They depart so quickly.

- It's your handwriting!

- Mine.

Are you emotionally dysfunctional?

For everybody

on "Valentine's Day"?

- Only to you.

- Only me?

- I haven't heard that song before.

- I just wanted to cheer you up.

"Hurry to love people,

they depart so quickly"?

- The poem suits you.

- Suits me?! You're completely mad!

- You're so Ionely, I wanted...

- Rubbish!

Start taking some pills.

You chose some fairly big implants,

Miss Monika,

so a nipple cut is out

of the question.

We'll do it here...

in the armpit...

- I'll be frozen?

- General anaesthesia.

General? I read in "Biba!" Pamela

Anderson needed 20 minutes for this.

Miss Monika, this is surgery

and quite a serious one...

Later you'll spend

a few days in the clinic until

the swelling goes down

and there's no infection.

Then the sharp post-surgery

pain should also subside.

- How sharp?

- Let's not think about this now.

We will also see whether

the stitches are not splitting

or whether the implants move.

Fortunately keloids, breast milk

and lack of feeling in the nipples

or scars are much rarer!

And the stitches will be gone

after about a year!

I'll have to think about this.

I'll call you!

- Sorry.

- What's up, darling?

I need Erwin for this page.

Three minutes, honey...

How can I help you?

Help me? Rather thank me?

But for what?

For getting you out

of her killer claws.

It's my little gift for

Valentine's Day.

- What's wrong?

- I'm connecting it.

- Monthly reports?

- They're printing.

And the flowers?

How about we go for coffee?

I heard it hurts so much,

you can't wipe your ass!

Monia, I'm in the middle of

a fire in the whorehouse, later!

Pretty, no red or white ones?

What are you doing?

- I came to see you, Gosia.

- I can see that.

- Straight from Amsterdam.

- Something happened?

Oh, definitely, Gosia...

I love you!

I've always loved you!

- Marry me!

- Istvan! I have a husband!

- He doesn't love you like I do...

- Istvan, you're embarrassing me!

I won't leave until you say "yes"!

Istvan, I work here,

so get up and leave, because I...

Get up!

Good morning.

And this is... minister, sir...

the representative

of Hungarian farmers.

He is asking about

the possibility of co-operation...

- I love you, my dear wife!

- I know.

- I'll love you forever.

- I know.

- What's going on?

- Nothing.

I want to make love...

Stop! You're heavenly!

Water from Liche is heavenly...

Hi, Lucy!

No, she's not here.

Ok, I'll tell her.

Bye bye.

- What is this?

- Flowers.

- They're not chips, what for?

- For your mother.

Are you crazy? Flowers for

my Mom on Valentine's Day?

She's living with us.

You know, I thought...

- It's not polite, is it?

- My flowers out of politeness, too?

Why not buy

the whole street flowers!

- Darling...

- Give her flowers and marry her!

Mother and daughter in one!

It so f***ing Roman!

Since you've managed to get

me out of the killer claws, maybe...

- Maybe?

- Can I invite you somewhere?

Somewhere?

For a cream puff...

- or jelly...

- Jelly is made of hoofs.

Ok... I get it...

Vodka.

Take me for a vodka, Edgar!

- Erwin.

- Whatever.

- Korba is over there.

- I'm coming to see you.

To me?

It's for you.

Jesus, what is it?

- A horse's heart...

- But what for?

I thought you wouldn't want mine

so it's the biggest I could find!

I love you!

I always wanted him

to look at this.

I must be crazy!

I have gone crazy for sure!

Come in, honey, come in.

- For you dad on Valentine's Day.

- I'm so happy.

It's such a nice custom this

Valentine's Day...

And look who's come

to visit me!

Hi, sweetie...

You want a cookie?

Mum got me some beautiful flowers.

You smoke at school, Miss ucja?

Well, Klaudiusz Jedynak.

How are you, young lad?

- Visiting the old stomping ground?

- It's not that old.

- Are you studying anything?

- Yes, International Relations.

I won't fire you for smoking!

Artur?

What are you doing here?

- Today is Valentine's Day.

- Is what?

Valentine's Day.

Day of lovers...

After 6 months you tell me

about the day of lovers?

Are you mad?

- No...

- Then how will you explain this?

Simple. It's Valentine's Day...

I'll make some tea,

I need some tea.

Have you been fired?

It's not so easy to be fired

in Brussels. Want some?

Artur!

He left you!

What are you talking about?

He left me.

And were it for some nice guy!

But no! For a nobody!

He left me for a loser!

For some f***ing dietician!

You get it?

He left me for a soy cutlet lover!

There, that's peppermint.

Freshly made... Should work.

And there wasn't even

a warning sign beforehand!

That you see something is not ok.

Simply.

A surprise fuckup!

"I'm moving out,

I don't need you anymore!"

He treated me like sh*t!

Men are bastards, Artur...

I'm sorry.

It's ok.

- Enjoy your meal, honey.

- I'm not hungry.

Don't look at me.

I've never been next

to such a woman.

I didn't know you're a virgin.

I adore you.

I adore it when you make jokes.

- I adore you for everything.

- Great, but my head is killing me

and at such moments

I adore Ioneliness.

You want me to leave now?

I do. My head hurts and

I want to be left alone.

- Don't look at me like that!

- I love you, too.

Too? Anybody else here?

- Don't pretend you don't know.

- This time I don't.

- I love you and you love me too.

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