Little Bitches Page #8

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liquor store in town.

Where's your phone?

It's right here.

One off top. Here we go.

Okay.

"One off top."

Like you know it already?

Yeah, of course.

That's really cool.

Alcoholic.

It's ringing.

It's ringing? Okay.

Okay.

Uh, hey there. Yeah.

I'm having a big party tonight

and my girlfriend

is a dumb b*tch

and she totally doesn't know

the address she gave you.

It's, like, a big delivery.

Does that ring a bell?

Oh. Ugh.

He hung up on you?

Yeah. I don't think

I was slutty enough.

Okay, I don't think that's what

it was, but if you think so.

Let me get you another one.

I got you.

I really think so.

You know what?

Watch slutty.

I'm gonna do slutty this time.

Okay, it's gotta be...

It's gotta be this one.

Okay.

It's ringing.

Oh, my god.

Okay, slutty.

Hi there, cutie.

Hi.

My girlfriends and I are having

a big party tonight

and we placed

a large order of beer.

Okay.

Jessica, you left

your panties in the hot tub.

Oh, your bra too.

You look amazing naked.

Oh, you know what?

This beer talk

is making me so f***ing horny.

Oh, my god.

Oh, I'm so...

Heh, oh.

You know what?

That is right.

Thank you so much.

You're so handsome.

Stud.

You're a genius.

Good looks on calling him stud.

Thank you.

Oh, my god.

Maybe I'll call you a stud.

I'd love that. What?

Right? You like that?

We rolling? Start the whip.

Yeah, let's go. Okay.

I've always wanted

to call somebody "baby,"

but I can't pull it off.

Okay. Well, let's practice.

Okay.

Let's go, baby.

Yeah, I'm chubbin'.

Seven, eight, nine,

10, 11, 12, 13, 14!

Yo, that felt good.

Yeah.

It's really great

going down the throat.

Marisa. Oh, my goodness.

Hey. What's up?

You made it.

Yeah. You made it.

Wow. Where's Annie?

Uh...

Annie!

I don't know.

We got in a fight.

Oh, my gosh. No.

I don't know. I feel... yeah.

Tonight? Oh, my gosh.

Oh, my gosh.

Thank you.

I'm...

Okay. You just... you...

you can't take this stuff

too seriously, you know?

In the end, it's

all farts and cheeto dust.

Heh. Okay.

I like that. Thank you.

Thank you.

Dap it.

Yeah.

I'll see you later.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay...

Let's line them up for Mr. W.

Get in here, boys.

Come on,

who's hot for teacher, huh?

Lift this old man up.

I'm feeling rusty.

All right.

Don't be gentle.

See? If I just put my, like,

mouth over his thingy,

and when he puts, like...

So?

When are you gonna tell

everyone?

What?

Stanford. Your mom told me

you got into Stanford.

When did you talk to my mom?

Today. I mean, we talk, you

know. I text her and stuff.

That's a bummer.

Bummer? No, come on.

Let's get you a drink.

One more shot,

and you won't feel sad.

You know, Trent,

I gotta tell you

I like you clean-shaven.

Are you flirting with me?

I'm not flirting with you.

Just giving a compliment.

You look younger and fresher.

Like a high school kid.

High school?

Yeah. I mean,

you're just like a teen.

Like a freshman?

Maybe not a freshman.

Sophomore.

Well, I was gonna say...

Sophomore makes sense.

Like a gargantuan sophomore.

High school. High school.

Oh, my god. It's...

Right? What do you say?

It was the worst... was it?

So awesome! It was awesome.

Okay.

I was king of high school.

Were you?

The king and the queen.

How does that work?

I was prom king and queen.

Four years in a row.

You took yourself to the prom?

Sure did.

They voted you king and queen?

Sure did.

Don't think

they were making fun of you?

People don't

make fun of me, bud.

Right. I made most of my friends

in high school playing sports.

Oh, yeah? What'd you play?

Yeah.

I was a cross-country runner

and swimming.

Heh. That's good.

That's funny.

Running and swimming.

Those aren't sports.

What are you talking about?

They gotta have a ball.

Baseball, basketball,

football, tennis,

soccer, hockey.

That's what I played.

Hockey's not a ball.

Yes, it is.

It's a flat ball. It's just

a ball that's been flattened.

Thanks. What was

your favorite sport?

Tennis. Loved tennis

more than anything.

Really?

That surprises me.

Yeah, tore my rotator cuff.

Oh, that's too bad.

Hey...

hm?

Sh*t happens, man.

What did you just say?

Sh*t happens.

Like, life happens.

There's ups and downs, and...

Sh*t doesn't happen to me, okay?

No?

Not anymore.

Okay.

Oh, look at this.

We got one.

We got one. Here we go.

That's a real one.

It's a real one.

Yes! Yes!

You are so excited.

Light 'em up!

He he he!

Boy, I'm glad we are going

to this party together.

And you and I are gonna

always have this

to share

with each other. God.

Beautiful.

Man...

Hey, just so you know,

I broke my hymen

in fourth grade riding a horse.

Huh?

- Oh! Annie, Annie.

- What? What?

- You're getting pulled over.

- What? No.

You're going really fast.

Oh, my god. Oh, my god.

We have to go faster.

What?

No. Pull over.

We have to go faster.

Annie, you have to pull over.

Sorry, Phil.

We gotta get to the party.

Is this how fast

you normally go?

I usually go double this speed.

Please don't.

Don't even go any more...

Do or don't?

Please don't, Trent.

Come on, man...

Oh, come on! No!

I wanna be a lawyer. Jesus.

Yeah, buddy!

Oh, my god. Sh*t. Slam it.

Best day of our lives.

Slam it. Go!

Best day of our lives!

Best day of our lives.

Okay, okay, okay.

We're gonna get

this big Barney vehicle.

What do you think

about this? This is easy.

"Barney vehicle"?

Barney. It's a deep purple.

That's not purple. That's a...

That's a magenta, right?

That is for sure a fuchsia.

That's not a fuchsia.

Yes, it is. If anything,

it's closer to plum.

What? Are you insane?

Maybe like a pre-ripe plum.

Maybe chartreuse, if anything.

I think you don't know

your colors.

You don't know your colors.

I know my colors!

No disrespect.

I doubt that you do know

your full range

of colors, Trent.

Uh-uh.

Nothing from you.

Have you seen Annie?

Because I can't find her.

No. Why?

Don't act like you give a sh*t.

Whoa. Okay. I have

a rape whistle in my vagina.

I'll use it.

- I am done with your bullshit.

- What bullshit?

You blaming me

for what happened.

I need you to be a little bit

more specific.

When you left town, Marisa,

you abandoned us,

and you were so sure

I was gonna become everything

that you hated about this town,

but that's

what you turned me into.

You turned me into this,

this bullshit high-school

stereotype.

I didn't create this mess

with Annie, Marisa. You did.

Okay.

And f*** you, by the way

for assuming

that I wouldn't be there

for you when you were gone.

Whoa...

you love acting

like this friendship

has never mattered

to me, Marisa, but it did.

Are you done?

I am not this perfect thing

that you think I am.

I am the same person

that I have always been.

I didn't change

just because you left town.

Sh*t. The cops.

- Gotta go to the party.

- F***. Go.

Where's that house?

We'll have so much fun. Yes!

Oh, my god!

Oh, my god!

Yo, they're shooting at us.

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