Little Fauss and Big Halsy Page #3

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Wanted man in California

Wanted man in Buffalo

Wanted man in Kansas City

Wanted man in Ohio

Wanted man in Mississippi

Wanted man old Cheyenne

Wherever you might look tonight

You might see this wanted man

I might be in Colorado

Or Georgia by the sea

Working for some man who may not

Know who I might be

And if you ever see me coming

And if you know who I am

Don't you breathe it to nobody

'Cause you know I'm on the lamb

Wanted man by Lucy Watson

Wanted man by Jeannie Brown

Wanted man by Nellie Johnson

Wanted man in this next town

But I've had all that I wanted

Of a lot of things I've had

And a lot more than I needed

- Move out the way!

(motorcycle engine)

- Huh?

(crowd shouting over each other)

- Come on, dude!

Come on!

- [Voiceover] Come on back.

- [Voiceover] Will ya hurry up?

- There you go.

Hey, dude.

(crowd cheering)

- [Voiceover] Riders let's get ready.

Knock off that conversation,

let's be ready.

That flag can drop any time

and anybody jumps that gun

is gonna be disqualified.

Ready?

Watch that flag.

(gunshot)

Go!

(crowd cheering and shouting)

(cacophonous motorcycle engines)

- Damnit!

Ya-hoo!

Woo-hoo!

Hey man, get it on!

Hey, get on!

(buzzing motorcycle engines)

- [Little] Hey Hals, you dead?

You okay?

Hey, Halsy?

Hey.

- You ran right under me,

you bird-brained creep.

- [Little] I think I broke my leg, man.

- What the hell did you

run right under me for?

- [Little] You hurt any?

- Broke my chain, I think.

(motorcycle engines)

God damnit!

Get out the way!

God damn bike!

- What are you gonna do, Hals?

Halsy, I can't get out of my pants!

My leg's broken.

- Yeah, go on, okay.

Get out!

(motorcycle engines)

(drowned out by engines)

You got matches?

- Matches?

- How the hell am I gonna find you

if when I come back it's dark?

- You'll be back before dark.

They'll send somebody back before dark.

- Oh ho, not these Micky

Mouse Country Road shows, man.

They don't take no responsibility.

You're on your own.

- [Little] Hey, Halsy.

You'll be back before dark,

it's only four o'clock!

- Oh, oh yeah!

Only just light a match

when you hear me comin'.

Just in case.

That's right, you!

- Thanks a lot, you comin' back or not?

I got a broke leg!

- Hey don't panic, man.

You panic in this weather, it'll kill ya.

Here you go.

- What's this?

- That's what to do in case

of snake bite, read it.

(motorcycle engine)

- [Voiceover] Let's everybody

now remember this race

is all for trophies here today, gang.

So let's give everybody a nice hand

when they cross that finish line.

We've still got a lot of riders coming in.

A lot of winners to sort out.

And all of you guys know

that they get one trophy.

Get your machines and get over

there by that trophy case.

All right, now let's get over

there by that trophy case,

what do you say?

- Say, you ought to be a model.

- Would you please quit it?

- Oh, babe.

Listen, I'm an expert, do you

know how many races I won?

- Do you have to do that?

- Every time I've come some trophy chick

who thinks she's Ann-Margret.

- I never said I was any Ann-Margret.

- Listen, these hands have held

the b*obs of more top-flight

actresses than trophy girls.

- Well I'm not any

trophy girl, now come on.

Please?

- You got 'em all beat, my dear.

(both laughing)

By a mile.

- [Woman] You.

- [Halsy] Two miles.

- Yeah, but you know they

don't have trophy girls

at desert endures.

- [Halsy] Yeah...

The cheap-asses, all this racing, no ass.

- Would you please take

your hands off my things?

- Some people really don't

know how to take a compliment.

- Well I thank you, but my gosh.

I mean, there's a lot of people here.

It's kind of embarrassing

in public and everything.

- Why?

- Well, I don't know but,

one thing is you haven't

even gotten your trophy yet.

- (laughs) Damned if I don't.

- Yeah.

Hey, what are you doing?

(motorcycle engine)

(crickets chirping)

(coyote howling)

- When are the other guys

gettin' back, Joe and Bill?

Oh, they'll be back here

any minute now, Don.

Hey, would you care for

a cup of coffee, Spike?

How about you, George?

Thank you, Joe.

Well, you're welcome, Fred.

I mean, Bill.

Where you workin' now, Joe?

Oh you know, down by the railroad tracks.

Oh you are? You like it?

Well you know, it's uh, oh yeah.

Oh well, would you care for an orange?

No, I don't wanna ruin my breakfast.

- Hey, dude.

I hate to tear you away

from your friends but,

(woman giggles)

I gotta split.

They got pro races every

weekend out there in California

someplace and if we split out there,

who's gonna know who's you and who's me?

- Somebody's gonna find out.

- You think you're famous?

It's a funny thing but

nobody knows me out there.

So how are they gonna know who's who,

if I'm there with your bike,

your license, your number

and you're standin'

right there to deny it?

- How will we split it up?

- Halfs!

Hold on, excuse me.

All points go automatic

under your name, not mine.

Toward your expert card, your

standing in the nationals

which the way you ride is the

only way you're ever gonna

qualify if somebody race for you.

You're actin' like you're

doin' me a favor, sh*t.

(car horn)

- Seems like a good deal

to me, the way I see it.

- Yeah, for sideburns.

- If I want to race pro...

Where could I race pro around here?

- What are you talkin' about racing for?

You're his tuner, Little.

He's racing, dummy, on your

bike, with your license

'cause he got throwed out.

- Meantime, I could

hit all the main events

across the country, Dad, I

can't do that around here.

- Meantime who pays?

- You know I think he done it on purpose.

- Broke my leg?

- What's a broke leg to his kind?

- You'll have to prove that to me.

- I might just do that.

(car horn)

- Well I gotta go.

- [Halsy] Hey, come on, dude!

(car horn)

- Little?

Little.

(stutters)

The best fortune to you, Little.

But I still don't see no good out of

hookin' up with an

undesirable like that though.

- That goes ditto for me.

- I know what you all mean, you know?

But if I wanna race, there's

a lot I can learn from him.

And uh...

There's a few things

I could teach him too.

Anyway.

What else is there to do?

We're gonna split 50/50.

So, um.

I got nothin' to lose.

(car horn)

- Dear god!

(truck engine revving)

(cacophonous motorcycle engines)

- [Voiceover] Wait a minute.

As Fauss went by out there,

he just took the front wheel

right off of number 80.

(cacophonous motorcycle engines)

- Halsy, come on!

- Come on, Halsy!

Come on, baby!

Come on, Halsy!

- Hey, man.

Great, Halsy. Great, man.

Hey, out of sight, man.

- Man this bike, woo!

Use them other scooters for traction!

- One more lap, wasn't even half a mile,

you would have been first.

- You know what even second pays?

$30.

Screw first!

- Hey.

Beer's on you for a week.

- Beer nothin', I'm gettin' me a pint!

(crowd shouting over each other)

He fell right into my groove,

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