Little Fauss and Big Halsy Page #4

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man, hell it took two laps

before they could even

get 'em out of there.

Did you see that?

Is he dead or anything?

Just to darn my fun?

Even though I'm workin' so

hard just sittin' in there

in that position it's just so exciting.

- There's just one thing I

wanna ask you, Halsy Knox,

and that's who the hell is she?

- Who in the hell am I? Who in

the hell are you, you b*tch!

- You know, if I could just

get in there all night long,

even though I'm working.

Hey, hey!

(door creaks open)

Hey, what are you sleepin' in the car for?

- Somebody's gotta guard the bikes.

- I'll guard the bikes. Go on in.

- Where'd you get that flashlight?

- Hey man, look at this.

It cleans up lint, it

air-conditions your face.

It's even got a table on the side

that gives weights and measures.

- You just gonna top it off?

- Well listen, you get

stopped by the highway patrol,

they're gonna give you a ticket

if you don't have the proper

safety equipment.

Are you goin' in or not?

- I guess I better not.

- Come on, tell them I

said it was all right.

It's okay by me, come on!

- I think I've come down with a cold.

- Oh.

Okay, let's split.

- You just cut out on Moneth?

- Yeah.

Hold on a second.

Hey, I thought you said you had a cold?

- Well, it's not that bad.

- Man, we're leavin'!

- Well I just thought I'd

go say goodbye to Moneth.

- Oh, to hell with her.

What's she to you?

- Nothing.

You know, but, it's such an

easy set-up like you said.

- Forget it.

- Well now is a good time to

take care of the shyness I got

and strike while the iron's

hot 'cause nobody cares.

- Well Little, you had your chance.

- Couldn't I just, take a peak?

(Halsy sighs)

- [Voiceover] So this year's

crop and to the surplus

carryover is at the end

of this year, the surplus

is expected to be down to

about 12-million bales.

And on the basis of current

guesses, the surplus

could be cut to about 9-million bales.

There has been a new proposal

for a compromise plan.

(buzzing)

It comes from a Kansas

congressman who wants

a scaled-down version of the program.

- They're gonna feel awfully

bad, Halsy, when they wake up

and find out you're not here.

- No sir, man.

Once a chick swings AC/DC on ya, split.

Once it's cool.

Twice it's queer.

(country music)

Little Fauss and Big Halsy

Man they make a winning team

Fauss supes up the engine

And Halsy is a woman's dream

But they keep on movin', movin', movin'

Honey they movin' right along

Ain't never found a place, sweetheart

I could really settle and call my home

- Hals?

- Yeah.

- Are you awake?

- I better be. I'm drivin'.

- Hey, man.

What the hell? What

did you do to this car?

- [Little] I was sleeping--

- [Halsy] Look at it!

Look at the gauge.

That dude's all the way over.

- Well, it's not my fault!

- Well you were sleeping

in the car all night.

- That's exactly what

I was doin', sleepin'!

- Well what were you

thinkin' about in there?

Well you better get on this, dude.

Son of a b*tch.

(rumbling overhead)

What's it gonna do now, rain?

(sighs)

Hey if I tell you somethin',

you gotta believe me, okay?

- Well, I usually believe

what people tell me.

- No. (chuckles)

Not this you won't.

- Well, I don't know.

You know, the truth is

unless it's what people say, you know?

- I bet you think that I

make out really good, huh?

Well I don't, I don't.

I don't make out good.

You know those girls?

Do you think I don't know they're dogs?

- I didn't know if you knew or not.

- I don't know why, with

all I got goin' for me,

all I get are the dumb-dumbs.

- They mean well, I guess.

- You think I don't know who they are?

What they are?

- I don't know, if they were or not.

- You know, sometimes when drunk I...

I really think that they're princesses.

Then I wake up and,

they're just pigs.

- I just figured you liked pigs.

(both laugh)

- Hey, you thought old

Moneth was bad, huh?

- I just see, you know.

If she wasn't a pretty

girl or so indecent,

they had just, it figures.

- No man, I mean that's

what I'm tellin' ya.

It's just these gland

cases and hurtin' whores

that'll have me.

Where the hell are we?

- I don't know.

- Stay clean, man.

- Hey, I'm not so clean.

- I don't mean pure.

- Oh, I used to see my

foot sometime. (chuckles)

- I mean decent.

- Hey Halsy, you know, just because...

Just because you yank it up

all the time... (chuckles)

I'm not your pure St. Peter, you know?

- [Halsy] You know what?

- [Little] What?

- All I say is, it's just talk.

- No, you're a sure good talker, man.

You had two chicks in the sack.

Stupid me, man.

Sleepin' in the car. (chuckles)

(rainfall)

(overhead rumbling)

(motorcycle engines)

It's pre-igniting again, we

gotta go to a colder plug.

- [Voiceover] You guys wanna step it up?

We're running a little bit late.

This will be a 250 through 650 class.

We're gonna run a quarter of

a mile for at least two miles.

- Are you gonna pay attention

to what this guy's sayin'?

- (chuckles) Look over there.

- Huh?

Jesus Christ.

(men shouting over each other)

(whistling)

Oh, my hell.

Okay, get rid of her.

- Me?

It's your truck.

- Well, you're a good Samaritan.

- And you're the Don Juan.

- Hey man, just dump

her out, get rid of her.

I don't care how.

- And just leave her there?

- Well they did, didn't they?

- [Little] Yeah but they're undesirable

- Hey, I don't want her

there when I come back, okay?

Now I got a bike to ride.

(men cheering and whistling)

(woman panting)

- Hey, this is our truck.

(woman panting and moaning)

Hey, this is our truck.

(woman panting and moaning)

Uh, you need a dime or

anything to make a call?

Lady?

- Do you know where a gym is?

- A gym?

- You know, if we go into

town with a gym in it.

Just let me out at the gym.

- What are you doin'?

- 'Cause I gotta start workin' out.

- Man, I wasn't payin'

no attention to her.

I don't think she knows what she's doin'

or talkin' about or nothin'.

- [Woman] Who's your friend?

- What are you doin', lady?

- I don't think you can find

a gym around here, lady.

- 'Cause that's the first

thing you do when you start

gettin' straight, is you

start eatin', puttin' on fat.

Uh-uh.

You guys don't turn on, or what?

- Now listen, damnit, I

told you about that light.

- I'm just trying to exercise a little.

(arguing over each other)

Just don't push!

Sh*t.

- Hey, get out of the car.

- Hey, wait a minute!

(truck horn)

- [Halsy] Get out the car.

- [Woman] Hey, hey, hey!

- [Halsy] Get out of the car. (laughs)

- Hey come on, I'm just

trying to exercise, okay.

Wanna taste somethin' good?

- Wow, wow man.

Hey Halsy?

- [Halsy] Yeah I heard, man.

- Oh, boy.

- Do you wanna taste somethin' good?

- Hey, no that's not funny, it's just bad.

- Hey, you don't have a guitar, do you?

- Guitar?

- Do you have a guitar?

- (laughs) No we got no guitars.

- You play guitar?

- Yeah.

In New York City I play guitar.

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