Little Fauss and Big Halsy Page #7

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- (chuckles) You're mean, Little.

Now you don't respond to people

and damnit that's a bad trait.

People want to be responded to.

Looky here, I gotta bend over backwards

just to catch your eyes.

I was sayin' to Rita this mornin',

''Boy is real with old Little,

that's gonna be a tough one.''

But damnit, worth it.

- Hey Rita, how are ya?

- I'm fine, Little.

How are you?

- I'm fine too, thank you.

(Halsy clears throat dramatically)

When did you get that?

- I wondered when the heck

you were gonna notice.

- Ridin' sidehack now huh, who with?

- Well, old Jimmy Fast got

killed up at Corganville

and his wife said ''Here, take it.''

Said she never wanted to see it again.

- How's Herera?

- I gave him Rita's Geiger

counter for his half.

- No I mean, how is he?

- Well he's great,

except he's got no nose.

- Well, uh.

Who you ridin' sidehack with?

- Well I truly hoped that it

was gonna be my old friend

Little Fauss!

- Hey.

You might tell him half that thing's mine.

You know, my Geiger counter paid for it.

- Man, we couldn't hustle up enough loot

to hustle up a doctor soon

enough and now it's too late.

And hell I'd marry her like that!

Except they just caught up

with me for non-support on one

family and hell I don't even

know if I'm divorced yet!

Hell, you know me.

I'm not the kind of guy who

can just cut out on some girl.

And well, still rememberin'

how much in love that you two

were I just kinda figured

I'd maybe just step right out

of your ways if you thought

you might wanna get together

and team up again, get somethin' goin'.

- You mean come back and be your tuner

and take a shot at Rita

every once in a while, right?

- Well you have a low mind, Little.

- You just wanna pawn

that chick off on me, man.

Well, that's how it is, right.

- Hey, I don't even know if it's my kid!

Sure, for all I know it

may even be your kid.

Yes, sir.

Man, she can't even

tell me whose kid it is!

It'd just break my heart

to give up poor Rita

but if that's what I gotta do.

Be just like old times, you remember?

Lots of laughs, plenty of ass!

What do ya say, babe?

- I ain't a tuner anymore, I race.

- I want you to race.

That's what I'm here for, I

need you to sidehack for me.

- Halsy, I ain't climbin' on

no sidehack to hold you down.

I race solo, 100%.

- She's havin' a baby, man,

and I don't have a dime.

- I'm goin' to San Francisco.

- Sears Point?

- That's all I'm gonna do.

I ain't ridin' sidehack no more,

I ain't gettin' screwed up,

I'm just goin' to Sears point

to race and screw people.

- Hey.

- Yeah?

Well?

- I'll make it a rule,

never to make no promises.

- So?

- I just want you to know though that,

that you can count on me.

- I make it a rule, never

to count on anybody.

- Good.

Then maybe we'll get along.

(faint country music)

(approaching car)

I don't wanna be tied to

a load that I can't carry

Just wanna hear that thunder roar

On trails that ain't been rode before

Don't put no chains on

me, I'm rollin' free

(muffled radio chatter)

(motorcycle engine)

(crowd cheering and shouting)

(screaming)

- [Voiceover] As he slides back down.

(motorcycle engine)

(muffled radio chatter)

- Rita?

- [Voiceover] Then the next

rider up will be one of the

local favorites, Little

Fauss on number 191.

(motorcycle engine)

There he goes, it looks like a good run.

- Oh, Little.

Whatever happened to...

Whatever happened to, oh.

(moans)

Whatever happened to, Halsy?

(Little groans)

- He knocked up some whore.

A while back.

Yeah, well he probably

had to get married by now.

(cacophonous revving engines)

- [Halsy] Woo-hoo-hoo, we did it baby!

Hey.

- Just shut up, and hurry up.

- How are we doin'?

Easy, we got plenty of time.

Hold on, I got ya.

- First aid and big smiles is

not gonna get me through this.

- What a prima donna.

- You're supposed to exercise.

- I got you, babe.

- Supposed to exercise and eat.

And take breathing lessons.

And I didn't do any of it.

- Put that baby out of

there, huh, we're comin'!

I got ya, now just take it easy.

- [Voiceover] Hey Halsy, you

ain't gonna win this race!

- Huh, who the hell are you smartass?

How come I didn't see you?

I didn't see you 'cause you

was behind me, that's why!

Easy now.

(Rita groans)

What the hell were you ridin'?

Take it easy, will ya?

I got the leg, I got it.

Hey!

Throw me that helmet, will ya, Jake?

Come on, man, I gotta get movin'.

Hey wait a minute.

Easy, I got it.

(car starts)

- [Voiceover] Okay mac, go ahead.

(Rita panting)

- I want somebody to call my father.

- No one needs to call your father, baby.

I'm right here.

I'm your father.

- If we, if we go to 'Frisco,

that's where they live.

We could call and blow their minds.

- (chuckles) We're gonna

go to 'Frisco, baby.

We're gonna blow your old man's mind

and I'm gonna win the old 200.

(phone rings)

- [Voiceover] Community Hospital.

Can I help you?

- Mr. Knox.

Are you Mr. Knox?

- What? Huh?

What? Uh-huh.

Why?

- Congratulations, it's

healthy six-pound baby girl.

- What? Huh?

- Your wife, Miss Nebraska.

- Yeah?

- She's asking to see you.

If you haven't (chuckles) split.

(Halsy sighs)

(melancholic country music)

(door creaks open)

(rooster crows)

- You guys. You can't even

say goodbye and thank you.

- I was gonna say goodbye

and thank you, Moneth,

but I thought I'd let you

get your beauty sleep.

- Yeah well if you see

your boyfriend down there,

you sure tell him he taught

you all the wrong things.

'Cause you two sure like to

leave a girl high and dry,

you know that?

- Could be you, Moneth, you know that?

- Who me?

- And uh, don't you ''you guys'' me.

'Cause I'm me.

- Yeah well maybe you used to

be but you sure ain't anymore,

you know that, Little?

- 'Cause Halsy and I ain't

even friends anymore,

much less what you say, boyfriends.

- Can't you just, please?

Say goodbye?

- Goodbye, Moneth.

- Sears Point, you big-time beguiler.

I long to enter your 200 miler.

Lest I forget, though

it's needless to mention.

Your cow-palace trade show

commands my attention!

Good to see Good Year

and Triumph and Harley.

Nixon and Balman and Oldham and Charlie.

Top hot shoes and go-fasters

all racin' together.

Despite of the mother-humping

California weather.

- They'll never print that.

- Oh, they printed all

them stories and articles

on how I cycled through South America.

- [Rita] India, India.

- [Halsy] Huh?

- You told me it was

India you cycled through,

not south America.

- [Halsy] Did I say India?

Oh that's right, it was.

That's right, it was India.

Turkey and Turkeystan.

All them places.

Burma.

(Rita chuckles)

There's the fuzz.

Fuzz is here, everybody's here!

God that is beautiful.

- [Rita] Yeah it sure is.

(Rita hums melodically)

(faint whistling wind)

(motorcycle engine revving)

(Rita humming melodically)

(faint whistling wind)

Is he here?

- [Halsy] Huh?

- [Rita] Is he here?

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