Little Man Page #3

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They're iust gonna

put them in rehab.

Then they'll be back on the street,

selling him for a bag of rocks.

What are you saying?

I'm saying, why don't

we just keep him?

- Just until Monday.

- No. No, Darryl.

- Just until-

- He's a child.

- I don't know what to do with a child.

- Just until Monday.

And then we'll take him

to Child Services.

They'll find a home for him.

Besides, who could take better

care of this child than us?

- Where is he?

- Oh, man.

Where do you think you're going?

Well, what do we got here?

- Is this your baby?

- Yes, thank you.

Well, actually...

- ...we found him-

- Mama.

He called me Mama.

There you go.

Thank you, officer. Thank you.

You know, Percy, I don't like

having to look for people.

Who, me? I wasn't hiding, Mr. W.

Not Percy. Not the Kid.

I was gonna come soon

as I got the diamond.

So you don't have

my diamond, huh?

No. I mean, I do.

I don't have it on me

now, but it's safe.

We got everything on lockdown.

Believe me. Trust me.

You trying to hustle me, Percy?

Hustle a hustler? Ain't

nothing happening, Mr. W.

It's iust that the robbery didn't

go as smooth as we wanted to.

And a situation had popped

up, so we had to split.

- But my partner, he-

- Your partner is not my problem.

My problem is I don't

have my diamond.

Now, I'm gonna

give you 24 hours.

After that, my problem becomes

Bruno and Rosco's problem.

And they...

become your problem.

You got a problem with that?

Ain't got no problem

with that, Mr. W.

I got it all under

control, I swear.

Don't want a smudge on it,

not a speck, nothing.

Not a smudge.

Okay, Mr. W.

Get him out of here.

- Get him out of here.

- Come on.

Ain't nothing better

than the evening news...

and my favorite,

milk and cookies.

Damn, I forgot my milk.

Jeez, man, you can't be

popping up like that.

For a moment I thought

you were Chucky.

About to put you in a chokehold.

What are you looking at?

A man who exposed himself to police

oflicers in a doughnut shop...

claimed that voices

made him do it.

Oh, honey, look how

comfortable he is with us.

He is so cute.

Oh, no, you don't.

No, you don't. No, no, no.

- Dad.

- Come on, Pop, let him sit there.

- Let him have a cookie.

- This is my throne, my sanctuary.

This is my air, my end zone.

- It's iust a cookie.

- Oh, it start with the cookie.

Then they want to come to dinner.

Then they want to move in.

Next thing you know, they're

married to your daughter.

- Why he got to bring it back here-

- Already made that mistake once.

- Come on, now.

- Honey.

No more, my brother.

Nobody makes a fool out of me.

I'm from Detroit.

- Everybody's here.

- I can't wait...

for everybody to

meet little Calvin.

- I'm so excited.

- Yeah, yeah.

Introduce him to everybody else, and

go over to somebody else's house.

Cookie got a little bite to it.

- Hi. Come in, come in, come in.

- Hello, hello, hello.

- Hello, hello.

- I'm so excited.

- Hey.

- Hello.

- Consuela, welcome. Come in.

- So where is the little one?

- Here's Calvin.

- Here's Calvin.

- What a mess.

- Honey, that's not nice.

He's scary.

Yeah, well, I mean...

- I mean, lucky he's not yours, right?

- Yeah.

I iust think he is precious. I think

he is a precious gift from God.

You know, God gives gifts.

Sometimes he wraps them in a hurry. Sometimes.

Isn't he a precious gift?

Oh, yeah. He's adorable...

in a National

Geographic sort of way.

What is he, a pygmy?

Consuela, why don't you

take the kids to go play?

Yes, good idea. Come on, guys.

Tommy, show Nicholas that

scissor-lock thing...

we've been working on, huh?

Hey, little man. No

hard feelings, right?

Give me five.

Hey, guess what, Calvin?

We brought you some stuff.

We got you some stuff. We got

a box full of bottles, bibs.

Oh, and all of the Dinosaurus Rex

tapes you could possibly want.

Well, thank you.

That's a lot of stuff.

He is so cute. I got your nose.

Yes, I do. Yes, I do.

Oh, you got my nose.

You got my nose. Yes, you do.

He's got my nose. He's got my nose.

He's hurting-

Darryl, he's hurting me.

- He's hurting me.

- Okay, okay, okay.

Wow, is he strong.

Yeah, tell me about it. I

still can't feel my hand.

Okay, Darryl, I think you

should take the crib upstairs.

- Yes.

- Ladies, will you help with this stuff?

Okay.

- Guys, help me grab this.

- I'll get this box.

Let's go into the kitchen.

Come, Calvin.

- Come on, baby.

- Come on, little pumpkin-butt.

Janet, this fits perfectly.

- Thank you.

- Let me see.

I'm glad I kept it.

Can't remember the last time I

could wear horizontal stripes.

But, you know, here I go again.

How about you, woman of the hour?

- Congratulations on the promotion.

- Oh, thank you.

It's awesome. Was Darryl

so excited or what?

No, actually. He

was disappointed.

Baby up-up.

He thought I was going to

tell him I was pregnant.

Okay, right.

Little Ms. Corporate-Climber

pregnant?

What? You guys. I want to

have a baby at some point.

You could schedule one between a

conference call and a client meeting.

Okay, you know, Darryl is the one

that I'm really worried about.

Are you kidding me? You're

lucky he wants one at all.

I had to promise Greg

I'd give him these.

Okay, now. Okay, easy, fella.

This one's real grabby. He

must have been breast-fed.

Is the baby hungry?

He should be nursed.

Baby like nursey-nursey.

Well, are you sure

you should do that?

Yeah. You don't have to be the

birth mother to breast-feed.

- Nursey-nursey?

- You want to nursey?

Okay.

All right.

- Drink up, precious.

- This one's real wriggly, huh?

Come on. Come on, now. Suck it.

Latch-Oh, that is not okay.

Let's get these kids home.

I have to take Nicholas and

Chrissy to Mommy and Me tomorrow.

Oh, have fun.

Don't worry about the nose.

He's adorable.

- Thanks for all the stuff.

- Call if you need anything.

- Bye, good night.

- Good night.

If you change your mind about

Consuela, you can take her.

- Oh, thanks.

- I've got, like, all the chores.

One for you...

and one for the baby.

He's a little charmer, isn't he?

Call me.

I could have sworn he iust

stuck his tongue in my mouth.

- Well, I-That was-I thought-

- That went well.

- Yeah.

- I thought they thought he was cute.

Great. You're wonder-Oh,

Calvin, you did so good.

- Come on. Yeah.

- You did so well.

If that lady touches you in a way

that makes you uncomfortable...

you let us know, okay?

- Yeah. You're the charmer.

- Yeah.

Does that warm water feel good?

Does it feel nice?

Yeah. Look at you.

Do you want some company

in there with you?

I think we can work that out.

Yeah? Yeah?

Hey, Darryl?

Hello. It's bath time.

Come on, let's get clean.

We gonna clean your little butt-butt.

Yes, we are.

And then we gonna play

Snatch the Marbles.

We're gonna fart in the tub...

and make our own little

Jacuzzi bubbles.

Oh, the little baby. Yes,

you're so clean now.

You're so nice and clean.

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