Little Man Page #4

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Hey. Okay-Calvin.

Okay, Calvin.

Okay. Hey, Darryl?

- All right, sweetie.

- Hello, little boy.

Hi, cutie.

Now it's time to get you

all dressed for bed, huh?

Don't forget the doctor said we

need to take his temperature.

Okay.

- Yeah.

- All right.

Open up wide.

- Darryl, what are you doing?

- I'm taking his temperature.

Sweetie, he's a baby, so

that's a rectal thermometer.

Yeah. Go ahead.

- You're such a-

- Okay, baby.

All right. Here we go. There we-

- Oh, sh*t.

- Darryl, what are you doing?

Darryl, come on. Darryl, iust-

- I'm trying to-

- Honey.

It's okay, Calvin. It's okay.

- If he'll iust roll over here.

- Okay, good, good.

- I could get him down like-

- No, no.

- Wait, be gentle. Calvin, it's okay.

- He's a little strong.

Okay, all right. Nobody

likes this, I know.

I know, nobody-Nobody

likes this.

It's okay. It's okay. Oh, yeah.

There we go, son.

- Here comes the choo-choo train.

- You're okay, baby. Oh, yeah.

It's in the tunnel, son.

It's almost at your stop.

There you go, little man.

Now, this is gonna

put you to sleep.

All right, little buddy.

Good night, baby.

Like this thing's gonna

put somebody to sleep.

I'm gonna wait for

you to go to sleep.

I'm gonna get my

diamond and be out.

Come on, baby, be in here.

Come on.

Come on.

Come on, where you at?

Where you at?

There we go.

Hi, beautiful. Yes.

Man, this idiot better

pick up the phone.

People calling here

all kind of time.

Like people don't live here. I mean,

you can't be calling nobody house...

P- Unit Productions, in association

with Go Get a Girl Entertainment.

- Hey, yo, Percy. It's me.

- Calvin?

- What's going on?

- I need you to come pick me up.

- Now, look, I got the dia-

- Reach for the sky.

Who you talking to, sonny boy?

Oh, don't give me that old...

crap.

Hand me that damn phone.

- Who is this?

- Me no speak no English.

Wrong number. Sorry.

Who the hell's "No speak the English"?

Who the hell is this?

- Say something.

- What are you doing?

I heard some noises,

came downstairs...

and caught this little

hoodlum on the phone.

- Must've looked for the safe.

- We don't have a safe.

- He didn't know that.

- Dada.

Pop, man. He's a baby.

It's his first night in a new house.

Probably couldn't sleep.

Look at you. You look crazy, man.

Holding a shotgun, wearing red socks.

You look like Fred Sanford on crack.

Put that away, man. Go to bed.

Oh, you are good.

You are real good.

I'm gonna keep my eye on you.

You gonna give me the finger?

Where did you learn that, huh?

BET videos fter Dark?

Him scary.

There we go.

Don't pay him any mind.

He just a old, crazy man.

I know iust what to fix you so you

can have a good night's sleep.

Go. Boy, you must have

had a rough first night.

That's because I'm new

at this dad stuff.

Give me a minute,

I'll get it together.

Man, can't imagine what kind

of life you must have had.

I'll tell you this:

This weekend is gonna be the

best weekend of your life.

You know why?

Because I'm gonna show you how

great it is to have a dad...

and you're gonna show me how

great it is to be a dad.

Vanessa don't think I can do

it, but I know I got it in me.

You know why? Because I would

never abandon my child.

Ever. I'll always

be there for him.

And there'll never be a time

when my son can't come to me...

and talk to me about

anything in the world...

over a nice, warm cup of milk.

What's so funny? What

are you all giggly for?

You're drinking

Janet's breast milk.

Baby, you did the right thing, letting

him stay with us this weekend.

Thank you.

But you know, I still can't wait

for us to have one of our own.

- Yes, I know.

- All right.

You wanna know the nice thing

about you not being pregnant?

What?

We get to keep trying.

Honey? What about the baby?

He's asleep, don't worry about him.

You've got me.

But, honey...

he's watching.

He's too young to know what's going on.

Forget him.

Okay.

Okay.

Good morning.

More like, great morning.

Looks like someone had a really

good night's sleep last night.

Who could sleep?

- You were an animal last night.

- Oh, well, you know-

I don't remember the last time

we did it twice in one night.

Twice?

Hey, when did he get in the bed?

I don't know. I don't know how

he gets out of that crib.

He's such a crafty little fella.

You want some breakfast?

Some more ass.

Twice?

- How's my baby girl this morning?

- So good, Dad.

- How are you?

- Mighty fine, thank you.

No, no, no.

Thanks very much, Jim.

And in other news...

police have a suspect in

yesterday's daring diamond heist.

It is this man, Calvin

"Baby Face" Sims...

- ...who was released-

- D. Rex, D. Rex, D. Rex.

Stop that, whatever

you're talking about.

D. Rex, D. Rex, D. Rex.

Just be quiet.

- D. Rex.

- Baby Face-

Dad, let Calvin watch his show.

You have to be the adult.

Let Calvin watch his tape.

- I wanna watch the news.

- I don't care what you wanna watch.

He was watching the TV first.

I'll read the news.

I tell you, the world is

going to hell in a handcart.

Wow, Dad, you really

cleaned your plate.

What? That hobgoblin

ate my breakfast.

Oh, Daddy, don't be ridiculous.

I ain't being ridiculous. That

little sucker ate my breakfast.

I'm going to the diner, where I can

eat and watch the news in peace.

Okay, Dad. Be careful.

Why don't we get you some food?

You must be so hungry.

It's time for you

to eat something.

- Morning, sweetie.

- Oh, good morning, baby.

Hello.

- I have your breakfast right here.

- Oh, goodie.

Oh, sweetie, okay, now your

dad is really tripping.

Last night, I caught him holding

little Calvin at gunpoint...

because he heard him

talking on the phone.

That is-That's crazy.

Well, you know...

iust now he ate all of his breakfast,

and then he told me the baby ate it.

- Can you say, "Whispering Glen"?

- No, Darryl.

No nursing homes, okay?

I don't wanna have this

conversation with you again.

I have to go to work, but

the baby's food is here.

- And I love you.

- I love you too.

Have a good day. Kiss. Feed him.

All right.

Okay, okay, let's

get you all fed.

All right. Open up wide.

Here come the airplane.

Oh, I see.

You want to play a

game of peekaboo, huh?

Okay, okay, okay.

Peekaboo, I see you.

Peekaboo, I see you.

You gotta be kidding me. God.

Darryl?

Where did I put it?

Honey, I forgot my purse.

Darryl. Darryl.

Sweetheart. You can't just

fall asleep like this.

Oh, honey, I know that you're tired,

but you have to watch the baby.

You take your eyes off him for a

minute, God knows what could happen.

I was...

- Darryl.

- I was...

- What...?

- I don't-

Honey, iust take him to the

park or something, okay?

Okay.

What...?

Peekaboo. Then I don't-What?

We gonna play baseball.

We gonna play football.

And we're gonna play golf.

And we're gonna shoot a plane.

We're gonna have fun.

There we go.

All right, son. Now, don't be afraid

to really swing that bat, okay?

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