Little Nicky Page #5

ADRIAN (O.S.)

Well, we must get people sinning if we

want to fill up our New Hell. How are

things going down at City Hall?

CASSIUS (O.S.)

I lowered the drinking age to ten.

ADRIAN (O.S.)

Brilliant. This is so much fun. I

never want it to end.

CASSIUS (O.S.)

Why should it end? Who's gonna stop us?

The Mayor/Cassius laughs. As he does, his eyes slowly cross.

EXT. STREET - DAY

Beefy is taking a dump on the sidewalk. PAN OVER TO:

Nicky, his pants around his ankles. He's trying to do the

same.

NICKY:

This is intense! And it happens every

day? Sometimes twice? I gotta tip my

hat to you people!

BEEFY:

Look, it's okay for me to sh*t the

street. But you gotta use a toilet.

NICKY:

(pulling up pants)

Okay, just point me in the right

direction next time.

BEEFY:

Come on, there's like ten million people

in this city and the clock is ticking.

NICKY:

Well, let's rock and roll.

Nicky looks at the next person walking by. It's a CHINESE

DELIVERY GUY on a bicycle. Nicky clotheslines him, taking

him off the bike in a sleeperhold/headlock.

NICKY (CONT'D)

Get in the bottle. Dad's falling apart.

You froze the gate and you're killing

him. Drink!

Nicky puts the flask to the Chinese Guy's lips.

CHINESE DELIVERY GUY

I'm not thirsty! I'm not thirsty!

NICKY:

just get in the flask!

The Chinese Guy breaks loose, gives Nicky a roundhouse kick

to the head and runs away. Nicky gets up.

NICKY (CONT'D)

Adrian and Cassius! You think a kick to

the head is gonna make me throw in the

towel? Well, in the immortal words of

Judas Priest, "You got another thing

comin'."

Beefy shakes his dog head and sighs as we see Nicky hold the

bottle up to a few more PEDESTRIANS.

EXT. STREET - DAY

Nicky approaches various people as they pass. (To be shot

long lense, real people, real reactions.)

INT. POPEYE'S - DAY

Nicky gets to the front of the line and tries to get the

Cashier to drink. The Cashier yanks his head away and gives

Nicky a dirty look. Nicky shrugs and points to the menu,

ordering some chicken.

EXT. STREET - DAY

nicky walks up to a homeless man. He thrusts the bottle in

his face. To Nicky's surprise, the homeless man gladly takes

it and drinks. Nothing happens. Nicky is baffled. He tries

to take the flask back, but the man won't let go. Finally he

grabs it away from him. The man starts throwing garbage at

Nicky as he walks away.

INT. CENTRAL PARK ZOO - DAY

Beefy is looking around for Nicky. He spots him - inside the

polar bear cage. Nicky approaches the bear holding the

flask.

INT. HELL - MOMENTS LATER

Nicky shoots through the firewall, having been killed again.

The Gatekeeper is wearing tassels on his b*obs.

GATEKEEPER:

Bus?

NICKY:

Beast.

The Monster laughs.

GATEKEEPER:

(to Monster)

You like that? You think that's funny?

The Gatekeeper swirls his tassels.

GATEKEEPER (CONT'D)

How about that? You like that?

The Monster howls with delight.

EXT. CENTRAL PARK - DAY

Nicky sits on the rocks, beaten and exhausted, eating a

Popeye's drumstick.

NICKY:

All that running and chasing is making

the sleep thing want to come early.

BEEFY:

I think we have to work on narrowing

down our list of suspects. Now I'm

going to go check in with some of my

contacts uptown.

Beefy hears Nicky's strange terrible snores. He's asleep.

Beefy sighs.

BEEFY (CONT'D)

Kid's got a lot of evil in him, just

begging to come out...

Beefy walks away.

EXT. VARIOUS CENTRAL PARK LOCATIONS - DAY

Nicky snores. Masses of birds fly out of the trees. Nicky

snores. Squirrels run out of trees. Nicky snores.

ON WORRIED PEOPLE

Staring at Nicky who continues to snore. Two HEAVY-METAL

GUYS, JOHN AND PETER, are listening to Danzig and doing a

goofy dance. They hear something and turn the music down:

it's the distant sound of Nicky's snore.

PETER:

Sounds like our devil dance actually

worked this time.

JOHN:

'Bout time...

Nicky snores. It sounds like "I will eat your hearts." The

worried people run away. Nicky snores. Children on the

Carousel, going real fast, upset. Nicky snores.

Peter and John walk over to a position near Nicky's bench.

JOHN (CONT'D)

There's our man.

PETER:

Mr. Sleepyhead must have some major ties

to the dark side.

A sleazy STREET VENDOR shuffles over towards Nicky. He eyes

the flask which is half hanging out of Nicky's pocket.

JOHN:

What's with that guy?

PETER:

Gotta be one of his disciples or

something.

Suddenly, the Vendor grabs the flask (and Nicky's half-eaten

drumstick) and runs off.

JOHN:

Yo, man, I think that devil guy just got

ripped off.

PETER:

Should we wake him up?

JOHN:

Yeah. You do it.

Peter gets up and shakes Nicky who comes to with a loud

SNORT.

PETER:

Rise and shine, devil guy. Some dude

just stole your sh*t.

Nicky feels for the flask. It's gone.

NICKY:

Oh nooooo....

Fire shoots out of Nicky's mouth.

NICKY (CONT'D)

Which way did he go?

JOHN:

That way.

Nicky is about to run off. Looks at John's shirt.

NICKY:

Iron Maiden live double disc is simply

phenomenal.

He runs off.

PETER:

Did you check out the dragon mouth?

JOHN:

The Dark Prince is here.

EXT. SIDE STREET - DAY

Nicky is searching the street for his flask. He walks past

several STREET VENDORS who have set up their wares on the

sidewalk. PAUSE. Nicky comes walking back into frame as he

sees his flask (and half-eaten drumstick) laying on the

blanket of the VENDOR.

NICKY:

Hey...

STREET VENDOR:

See something you like, my man?

NICKY:

Yes. I would like my flask back.

The street vendor stands, very angry.

STREET VENDOR:

You callin' me a thief, my man?

NICKY:

No, I'm just calling you... a guy who

has my flask.

STREET VENDOR:

And if that is your so-called "flask,"

how would I have it unless I was, in

fact, a thief?

NICKY:

(not sure what the answer is)

I don't know?

A YUPPIE JOGGER is checking out the flask.

MAN:

Yeah, how much for the silver flask

there?

STREET VENDOR:

Well, that's a very special item. The

cap itself is one hundred percent

plappium. It's a value is over three

thousand dollars.

MAN:

Really. Where's it from?

NICKY:

It was handcrafted in hell by Satan

himself and is only to be used for the

capture and containment of my blood

brothers so that the firefall of Hades

will burn brightly once again.

MAN:

Really. I think we'll let you keep it

then.

He walks away.

STREET VENDOR:

Okay, now you gone and done it. You

done messed with my business b*tch!

NICKY:

Sir, I would prefer if you didn't raise

your voice. It's making my muscles

tighten.

We see that Nicky's eyes are starting to glow red.

STREET VENDOR:

Oh, you gonna go all crazy eyes on me?

I'll show you some crazy eyes. Let's

get busy.

The vendor makes an even crazier face at Nicky and starts

swinging his fists around.

Nearby, VALERIE, an unsure, sweetly unstylish young woman, is

selling clothes off a spread out blanket. She notices what's

going on.

Nicky's eyes widen in panic. Just then, Valerie steps in.

VALERIE:

Excuse me, does that flask belong to

this man?

STREET VENDOR:

(frustrated)

Now you callin' me a thief? Damn.

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