Little Nicky Page #7

QUICK CUT TO:

Adrian's eyes flashing.

NICKY (CONT'D)

...I've always wanted to have sex with a

gross pig. What do you say we go behind

that dumpster, pull our pants down and

see what happens?

Valerie's very hurt.

VALERIE:

You're a jerk.

She turns and walks away. Nicky looks over and sees Adrian.

His inner voice speaks to him.

NICKY (O.S.)

ADRIAN!

ADRIAN (O.S.)

You shouldn't have come here.

NICKY (O.S.)

Please, get out of my mind!

Adrian's eyes flash.

NICKY (CONT'D)

Hey, Valerie!

She stops and turns. Nicky RAISES his fist to resist

Adrian's force. It's too much. His middle finger comes up,

giving her the "finger."

VALERIE:

What the hell's your problem?

She runs away crying. Nicky turns to Adrian who's still

across the street.

NICKY (O.S.)

Adrian, you gotta come back to Hell.

Dad's sick.

ADRIAN (O.S.)

He's sick?

NICKY (O.S.)

Yeah, he needs souls to live. When you

guys left, you broke the gates. We

gotta get the gates burning again before

he dies.

Adrian processes this.

ADRIAN (O.S.)

He should have thought of that before he

denied me my birthright.

NICKY (O.S.)

Well maybe you should go back and talk

it over with him.

ADRIAN (O.S.)

How about this? I stay here enjoying my

Schnapps and you go back.

Nicky's body jerks around.

NICKY (O.S.)

Adrian, please...

Nicky, fighting control over his body, walks slowly and

crazily into the middle of the street where he sees a large

truck bearing down on him.

JOHN and PETER get blood splattered on them. Peter looks

down to see the "666" forms in blood on their clothes.

PETER:

Check this out. The number of the

beast.

They laugh and hi-five.

ON THE TV - DAY

INT. CBS EVENING NEWS PROGRAM

Dan Rather speaks to the camera. Over his shoulder we see a

graphic of the Arch-Decon's face. NOTE (Arch-Decon is a made

up religious figure that appeared earlier in the script.)

DAN RATHER:

Reverberations from Arch-Decon

Donnelly's shocking speech are still

being felt throughout the city. Today,

some disgruntled cast members of the

play CATS broke the fourth wall in a

most hostile manner.

VIDEO FOOTAGE:

A few CATS are down in the aisle physically pushing around

shocked audience members.

BACK ON DAN RATHER

DAN RATHER:

...But even that does not come close to

what happened today on Live with Regis

and Kathy Lee.

VIDEO FOOTAGE:

The set of Regis and Kathy Lee.

REGIS:

So I was driving to work today, and some

bozo in a Cadillac cut me off...

KATHY LEE:

Oh, that's terrible, Reege...

REGIS:

So I followed him...

KATHY LEE:

You followed him?

REGIS:

I followed him all the way downtown, and

when he gets out of the car, I reach

under my seat and pull out an aluminum

bat.

KATHY LEE:

You keep a bat under your seat?

REGIS:

Recently, yes! So I run up behind this

guy, and start bashing his brains in

with this bat, and it made me feel

happy! Did you ever see THE

UNTOUCHABLES?

KATHY LEE:

Yes, great movie...

REGIS:

I was DeNiro!

The blue haired lady AUDIENCE is crying. The TV turns off.

We PULL BACK to see that we are in.

INT. TODD'S APARTMENT - DAY

Beefy turns to Nicky.

BEEFY:

Your brothers are upsetting the balance

of good and evil.

NICKY:

What can I do about it?

BEEFY:

You can't do jack sh*t... unless you

learn your evil powers.

NICKY:

Nobody's as evil as my brothers. Those

dudes put the wick in wicked.

BEEFY:

Go get a soda out of the fridge.

NICKY:

But those are my roommate's sodas...

BEEFY:

(high-pitched mocking)

"But those are my roommate's sodas..."

Does that sound like a statement the son

of the devil would make?

Nicky, ashamed, gets a Coke out of the fridge and places it

on the coffee table. He and Beefy sit on the couch and stare

at the Coke.

BEEFY (CONT'D)

You have the power to change the cola in

that can into any other liquid - engine

oil, bat's blood, moose piss. You just

have to release the evil within you.

NICKY:

Release the evil?

BEEFY:

I'm just saying, there's wickedness in

you... I can tell from your snores.

Nicky stares at the can.

BEEFY (CONT'D)

Release your evil...

Nicky frowns and bites his lip. The can rattles a little.

TODD:

What are you doing?

Todd is standing in the doorway. Beefy runs to the fire

escape.

*******************

TODD (CONT'D)

I know it's your living room night. But

can I finish watching the Globetrotters'

game out here? To me it's classic

Comedia Dellarte.

CUT TO:

INT. TODD'S APARTMENT - MOMENTS LATER

The TV clicks on. We see TODD sit down and look at the TV.

Nicky's behind him.

ON TV:

INT. BASKETBALL ARENA - DAY

BILL WALTON:

What an odd game, folks. The powerhouse

85-0 Harlem Globetrotters, who normal

run circles around the 0-85 Nationals,

seem to be struggling to find their

groove in front of their hometown fans.

A Globetrotter makes a fancy pass to another player, who

makes a fancy pass to CORNROWS who starts doing some VINTAGE

GLOBETROTTERS FANCY DRIBBLING. The REF blows the whistle and

makes the travelling signal.

REF:

He's walking, get him a bus!

BILL WALTON:

Oh, another awful call. There is no way

that was travelling.

Ref takes ball from Cornrows, who gets in the Ref's face.

CORNROWS:

What's with all these crazy calls? You

gotta watch that sh*t, we haven't lost a

game in 53 years.

REF:

Technical foul!

Ref snaps just like Cassius in the players' face.

ON TODD AND NICKY

NICKY:

That guy in the striped shirt snaps his

fingers like someone I know...

ON TV:

The ref mind wrestles four globetrotters to simultaneously

slam their heads on the scorers table again and again.

ON TODD AND NICKY

NICKY (CONT'D)

It looks like the work of a brother...

TODD:

A black guy?

NICKY:

If it's Cassius, yes.

Nicky races for the door.

INT. BASKETBALL ARENA - DAY

As the ref taunts the crowd, a fan wearing a Globetrotter's

shirt yells out.

GLOBETROTTER FAN

Get your head out your ass, ref! The

kids came to see the Globetrotters win.

REF:

Oh, so you wanna lip off to me?

Unsportsmanlike conduct on the big mouth

in the Globetrotter's shirt. Take ten

points off for the Globetrotters.

The Globetrotter's score on the board goes from 46 to 36.

ON STANDS:

The KIDS are crying.

ON COURT:

The halftime buzzer sounds. The Globetrotters walk off the

court. The crowd BOOS.

BILL WALTON:

In all my years of basketball, I was

never so happy to hear a halftime

buzzer. Folk, I'm afraid if the second

half doesn't get any better, I expect a

full scale riot.

A spotlight points to an announcer at mid-court.

COURT ANNOUNCER:

It's time for the Globetrotter's

halftime half-court heave throw, where

one lucky fan will have a shot at ten

thousand dollars!

A brick lands at the announcer's feet.

COURT ANNOUNCER (CONT'D)

And if he makes it, everyone in

attendance today will receive a free

pizza.

INT. ARENA TUNNEL - CONTINUOUS

MIGUEL, wearing a big basketball jersey, looks nervous. He

has a pass on.

MIGUEL:

I ain't goin' out there and taking the

shot. These people have gone crazy.

NICKY:

I'll take the shot.

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