Lloyd the Conqueror Page #6

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Go.

Ok, class, we're gonna

try something new.

I want you each to

choose a character,

Somebody whose

abilities you admire,

Be it physical or emotional,

And I want you to

channel their strength.

Can I be Beth, dog the

bounty hunter's wife?

If it helps.

Say aloha to Jesus.

Ha!

- Ha!

- Oh!

Excellent, excellent Rosie.

Now remember, to keep up

the attack once he goes down,

You do not want him

getting back up. Go.

Ha, ha, ha, ha,

Ha, ha, ha, ha!

Excellent, excellent.

Alright, next.

DEREK:
Leopold, I have come forth

to ask for your assistance.

I'd like you to join

the black crusade.

We are orcs, your favored

race if I remember correctly.

The only thing standing between

us and victory, is Andy.

The white wizard

has re-Emerged.

Indeed.

And he has taken new students.

I've heard him boast

that they will be

100 times more powerful

than you ever were.

Revenge will be

yours if you serve me.

I bow only to the blood gods.

Of course.

I just meant,

surely your blood gods

Would not want to see

the white wizard return.

If your destiny

serves their will,

Then I am yours to command.

As long as you know

who the boss is.

That has never

been in question.

- Ah!

- Oh!

Oh, ah!

Excellent power rose,

I meant Beth,

Dog the bounty hunter's wife.

Go show them.

Ok.

Steady.

I think Rosies

really improving.

I pity the pervert who

tries to take her flower.

You know Lloyd, I need to talk

to you in the back office.

Sure.

You're gonna have to help me.

Thank you.

Look, I just, I wanted to

thank you for helping us,

I know it's not easy.

No problem.

I think I found

my true calling.

No, but I mean, really,

I don't' want the girls

To see me get all mushy,

but thank you.

Ok.

And I wanted to tell

you something too.

And that is that I think

you're a really cool girl,

And I was wondering

if you and I could maybe

Hang out sometime?

Mmmph, we hang out

a lot already.

- Ok. Ok.

- Ok.

Wait!

Yes.

Uh...

just let me finish.

Ok.

Um, I just wanted

to say that, uh...

um, I want to...

I um...

I want to long dick

your quivering sex hole!

I am so sorry.

Shut up!

Oswald, are we gonna

practice today, or what?

Gimme a minute.

Come on buddy, hurry up,

It's not gonna make

you lose any quicker.

I didn't mean to lead you on,

I don't want to give

you the wrong idea.

Aaaaa!

Ah!

Hey, hey, hey.

Oswald, Oswald.

Ah!

Aaaaaa!

Aaaaaa!

(SCREAMING AND GRUNTING)

(OSWALD SCREAMS)

(PANTING)

That was intense.

Was?

We're not done yet.

Yes, we are doing this next.

Uh, I don't think I have the

upper body strength to do that.

Oh, I think with

the right motivation.

Aah!

I'll give it a shot, I mean,

What's the worst

that can happen?

ANDY:

I told you I cannot afford that.

Go ahead,

won't hurt to touch it.

That's it.

Perhaps we can

work something out.

It's mint.

All you must do

is make sure your

New students

fail spectacularly.

Foul temptress, I refuse thee.

Perhaps twenty ducats

will sweeten the deal.

Never.

You still don't understand

what it's all about.

Very well.

Save your applause.

No.

The white wizard.

I believe you two

know each other.

You've grown old and weak.

I draw my strength

not from within,

But from those who larp

and are pure of heart.

If only you knew the

power of the blood gods.

If you're its example,

then color me unimpressed.

I defeated you, didn't I?

Low blow.

Sometimes it is the lowest

blow that strikes the hardest.

Yeah, I don't have

a comeback for that one.

But rest assured, I will do

everything within my power

To make sure that you are

vanquished on the battlefield.

And I will be sure

to taste the fresh blood

Of your new students.

Leave them out of this,

For this is between you and me.

Oh?

Or is it between you and I?

I'm warning you, they will not

succumb to your dark treats.

Ha.

You will protect

them from the shadows,

As you protected me?

You wouldn't dare.

I would dare.

No.

Yeah.

No.

- Yeah.

- Nah uh.

- I'm gonna do it.

- Not gonna happen.

It's happening.

Better not.

- Yeah, I am.

- Nah uh.

I said it, then I

repeated it several time...

For the love of

Odins sack, enough.

To think I almost wasted my

Prince finntor on

a cry baby like you.

Wah.

Cruel destiny.

LLOYD:
Andy, what's wrong,

you said you had important news?

ANDY:

I do.

Tell me, what would

you like to hear first,

The good news, or the bad news?

Or the really bad news?

The good news.

No, I think we should

listen to the bad news first,

Then the good, then

the really bad news,

So we break up the bad things.

Why don't we do the good last,

And then we can end the

meeting on an upbeat note?

Yeah, but then we run

the risk of not taking

The really bad news as

seriously as we should.

PATRICK:
Why don't we just

start with the really bad news?

Then we'd have the same

problem Oswald brought up.

Ok, shut up.

It's gonna go good,

bad, then really bad.

No, but Lloyd...

I'm the leader,

and that's my order.

Fine, whatever, it's not

even that big a deal.

Good.

Andy, please continue,

good news first.

The final scores

for the season are in,

And Lloyd and the conquerors

Are the highest ranked

team on the side of light.

Yes!

Whoo!

So we won?

And we get to pass

Dereks stupid class?

Not exactly.

As the highest ranked

team in your faction,

It is your duty to

lead the forces of light

In the final

battle of the season.

Say what?

Well, each year,

the larping season ends

With a final battle,

featuring the forces of light

Against the hordes of chaos.

Lloyd, you will be

commanding those forces.

Me?

And I bet I can guess who's

gonna lead the other side?

Derek.

Unfortunately yes.

So that's the bad news?

Oh, young Oswald,

if only it were so.

No. The final battle

takes place this weekend.

And Cassandra will

not be on your side.

Crap in a hat!

LLOYD:

We've seen Derek on the field,

As long as we have

a good game plan,

And work together,

we have a chance.

Yes, we have a chance,

we have a chance.

Andy, why don't you just

come out of retirement

And take my place on the team?

If you had asked

me this morning,

I might have said yes.

But now I see that it's your

path to follow, not mine.

Does this have something to

do with the really bad news?

It does.

This afternoon, Derek

presented himself to me.

He offered me a mint copy

of prince finntor number one.

That son of a b*tch.

Yes, indeed.

He offered me the book, if

I would ensure your failure.

And you threw it right

back in his face, right?

Never.

Finntor number one is

an important document

That must be preserved

for posterity's sake.

But you did turn

him down, right?

Oh, of course.

It was then that he

revealed his alliance

With Leopold,

my former student.

My greatest student.

How did Derek get one of your

students to join the bad guys?

It wasn't through

Dereks cunning,

But more through my

failure as a teacher.

When Leopold first

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