Looney, Looney, Looney Bugs Bunny Movie, The Page #4

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but not "Wolf."

I'm the Big Bad Wolf

and I'm in the demolition business.

I huff, and I puff,

and I blow their houses down.

Hmm. Sound like a good business to me

and no overhead.

Now, there's some fancy feathers

for you.

[SCREAMlNG]

SAM:

Whoa, horse, whoa.

Well, now, if it ain't that rip-roaring,

bronchial-busting Wild Bill Hickok.

I came here to win

one of them Oswalds.

I'll tell you, Tex,

you got a fifty-fifty chance.

Either you win or you lose,

like Sam Stone.

Well, just in case, I brought along

a little winner's insurance.

Yeah. Ha-ha-ha!

[CROWD CHEERlNG]

Oh, look. Here comes

that famous store pigeon, Henery Hawk.

It's Tweety Pie.

Howdy, Mr. Pie.

Oh, I thought I saw a pussycat.

"l thought I saw a pussycat." Ha.

Isn't it time you saw something else?

Stupid bird.

[TlRES SCREECHlNG]

Well, here comes

that Looney Tuney duck.

It's me, Daffy Duck in person.

Famous star of stage,

screen and television.

Please, hold down your applause,

my ears can only stand so much.

[SPARSE APPLAUSE

AND CRlCKETS CHlRPlNG]

Just for that, no autographs.

Oh. Oh. Oh, heartbeat, heartbeat.

And now, for the moment

we've all been waiting for...

...here's that lovable star,

a favorite around the world...

...Mr. Show Business himself...

...Mr. Bugs Dummy.

[CROWD CHEERlNG]

What a scene-stealer,

stepping on my applause.

Trying to upstage me,

as if that were humanly possible.

Eh, what's up, duck?

You're despicable.

I hate you.

[CROWD CHEERlNG]

[lMlTATES GROUCHO MARX]

Say the secret word and win an Oswald.

[CROWD APPLAUDlNG]

[lN NORMAL VOlCE]

Eh, good evening, ladies and gentlemen.

We are gathered here to award

the Oswald to that actor...

...who has given the world so much joy.

We know who that's going to be,

don't we, Granny?

You tell me, I'm too modest.

We will select this outstanding star

from one of the many qualified artists...

...to receive this coveted award.

Stop teasing the audience,

you stupid rabbit.

Read my name.

The first nomination is the Big Bad Wolf.

[CROWD APPLAUDlNG]

I wanna thank you and my three

supporting actors wanna thank you.

Say thanks to the audience, piggies.

ALL:

Thanks.

That's enough, now sit down.

They nominate that wolf for acting?

Heh. He couldn't call his dog

and make it believable.

Okay, Charlie, roll it.

[CROWD CHEERlNG]

[JAZZ MUSlC PLAYlNG ON FlLM]

NARRATOR [SlNGlNG]:

Remember the story of Three Little Pigs

One played a pipe

And the other danced jigs

The Three Little Pigs are still around

But they're playing music

With a modern sound

Three Little Pigs were in the groove

Everything was runnin ' smooth

The pigs were due for a big surprise

For the wolf appeared

With red-rimmed eyes

Oh, you 're cool

Oh, you 're cool

Oh, you 're cool, man, cool

NARRAT OR:

Well, to show he was friendly

He shook their hand

Announced he was joinin ' up

With the band

Instead of startin ' an argument

A- one and a-two and away they went

[PLAYlNG OFF-KEY]

The Three Little Pigs were really gassed

They'd never heard such a corny blast

- We've played in the west.

- We've played in the east.

We've heard the most,

but you're the least.

Well, the Big Bad Wolf was really mad

He wanted to play music

And he wanted to play bad

They stopped me

before I could go to town...

...so I'll huff, and puff,

and blow their house down.

NARRATOR:

The House of Straw was blown away

The pigs had to find

Another place to play

At Dew Drop Inn

The House of Sticks

The Three Little Pigs were givin ' out licks

Well, the piano-playin ' pig

Was swingin ' like a gate

Doin ' Liberace on an 88

I wish my brother George was here.

Three Little Pigs were havin ' a ball

When the Big Bad Wolf

He entered the hall

The Big Bad Wolf, he sat right down

Come on, cats, we' re going to town.

[PLAYlNG OFF-KEY]

Hey, l' m out of sight.

From the crowd came an angry shout

ALL:
Stop the music.

Throw this square out.

Big Bad Wolf was really sore

If they're gonna get tough,

I'll give them more.

They don't know talent

in this here town.

I'll huff, and puff,

and blow the place down.

Dew Drop Inn did drop down

The Three Little Pigs

Crawled out of the rubble

This Big Bad Wolf

gives us nothing but trouble.

So we won 't be bothered

by his windy tricks-

The next place we play

must be made of bricks.

NARRATOR:

Sturdy place, this house of bricks

Built in 1776

High-class place with a high-class crowd

Sign on the door

"No Wolves Allowed"

The wolf was sore and fit to be tied

He was sworn

And determined to get inside

He huffed and puffed

At the house of bricks

But bricks are stronger

Than straw or sticks

He huffed and puffed

And bleeped and blooped

And at 10:
00 was completely pooped

When all of a sudden came a ray of hope

I could disguise myself.

Boy, what a dope.

How do you like that, sister?

He's running the whole gamut

of emotions from A to B.

If you don't shut that yellow beak

of yours, I'll shut it for you.

I'd like to see you try it.

This beak of mine is gonna keep flapping

as long as-

Maybe that'll shut you up for a while.

I suppose you think that's funny.

ALL:

None of us think that.

Watch it, pigs.

I'll show those pigs that I'm not stuck.

If I can't blow it down, I'll blow it up.

NARRATOR:

Well, the Big Bad Wolf was really gone

And with him went his corny horn

Went out of this world without a trace

Didn 't go to heaven

Was the other place

The Big Bad Wolf, he learned the rule.

You gotta get hot to play real cool.

[CROWD APPLAUDlNG]

Eh, for the next nomination...

...we have two

of Hollywood's most popular stars...

...Tweety Pie and Sylvester.

[CROWD APPLAUDlNG]

Thanks a lot.

Thank you.

Thank you for this great honor.

Here's a few scenes

of Tweety and Sylvester at their best.

[CROWD APPLAUDlNG]

[DOOR CREAKS]

TWEETY:

I thought I saw a pussycat.

[CAGE OPENS]

I wouldn't do that if I were you.

If I were you, I'd put him back.

It can only lead to self-destruction.

It only takes one bird to start you...

...and before you know it,

it's two birds, then three.

Suddenly, without realizing it,

you're a victim.

Then, one day, the end of the road.

[SYLVESTER GULPS]

If you really want to beat this,

look us up.

We can help you.

Our new member

has come to us for help.

Would someone volunteer

to tell what BA has done for him?

I was a three-bird-a-day pussycat

until BA helped me.

[CATS APPLAUDlNG]

Being on a bird kick

cost me five homes.

BA helped me solve my problem.

[CATS APPLAUDlNG]

Fellow members...

...from now on my motto is

"Birds is strictly for the birds."

[CATS APPLAUDlNG]

[HUMMlNG]

Good morning,

my little feathered friend.

I got it beat.

My willpower is indomitable.

Sylvester, you are really a hypocrite.

Let's see what's cooking on TV.

MAN [ON TV]:
After basting, you 'll find

your bird will come out golden-brown.

Every succulent morsel

will simply melt in your mouth.

[PANTlNG]

How easy the white meat slices, eh?

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