Lost in London Page #7

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Oh my god, you threw up on me!

Oh, please forgive me,

I'm so sorry.

Oh my god!

Can I just...

It barely got you. Let me see.

It's not that bad.

Don't, just don't.

No. Let me... just

Oh god.

Oh, please forgive me.

I don't know where that

came from.

What, what are you two

doing here?

I said... can you take

that commotion outside.

He threw up inside my mouth.

Blood of Jesus.

Oh god.

Get out, the police are

looking for

Are you okay?

Yeah.

Oh, please, please forgive me.

I'm so sorry.

( ROCK MUSIC FADES UP )

[ZRINKA] Oh God, I...

Hey, it, it, it's all vegan

and organic if that helps.

Are you kidding me?!

I, I'm just...

Oh my God.

I don't know, I just got

nauseous, I...

God, this is the worst

night of my life.

Oh God. I wish we could

Where are the cops?

Thank you.

Okay.

Until the end of darkness

Let the subtle shades

of light begin to play

Excuse me, excuse me, hi.

Sorry to bother you, er...

have you got like a few

quid for a sandwich?

No, no, I don't. Listen,

I gotta go home.

Like three quid, two quid.

I'm so sorry.

Anything at all.

No, no, I don't have

anything, dude.

Actually, actually I don't even

have money for a cab to get

Hey.

Can you just give me...

Ah, great, I thought you.

Go.

Oh.

Holy Mary, Mother of God.

Oh, thank you so much.

You are such a nice person,

you really are, thank you.

Hold, hold on...

Life has been hard

for you enough.

No, no, no, no, no, no. Hold

it, hold it, that's, that's

You're an angel sent from

God, you really are.

No, no, no, no. I mean,

I'm the angel, dude.

I gave that to her and I need

it because I gotta get a cab.

Well, it doesn't, it doesn't

look like you need it.

I mean, I mean, look, you're

stood there like all smug...

and stuff and like with all

your flash gear on.

I'm like in a wheelchair, mate.

Dude, I, I just, I just

need enough to get home.

Do you, do you have like

five quid or something?

Yeah, well I need a sandwich.

I haven't eaten in like

three days.

Well, what do you need a

fiftypound sandwich?

I mean, do you have any

more money?

No.

Dude, please, can I...

I, I know you have something

for me. I just need five...

Are you begging a beggar

for money?

No, no, I'm just, I need

to get home, okay?

You're getting too close.

No, no, no, dude

I just need to get home.

Don't come any closer, please.

Don't scare him!

Look, just stand back, will you!

Okay.

How many times do I have

to bloody tell you!

Okay, calm down, man.

I'm so sorry, miss.

It's absolutely nothing to do...

No, it's okay, it's not you.

with you, it really hasn't.

But you're a dick, mate.

Dude...

I've told you once before,

now bugger off!

Give me that!

Get...

Give me that.

No, no! No, stop! Stop!

Oh lovely, lovely, Woody.

Lovely.

Stop it!

Get angry, that's it, lovely,

mate. Lovely.

My camera! He's broken my

camera! Lovely.

Stop it!

Woody Allen, this is not

your best self!

Sloane Hotel, please.

Everything alright there, mate?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's fine.

It's fine.

Do you know what time it is?

Er, 11:
30. What's going

on back there?

Er, nothing, nothing, it's

all good.

Yeah, well it looks like

a lot of something...

to be nothing, eh, mate?

No, no, dude, dude...

Er, are you bleeding?

What?

Are you bleeding? Are you

bleeding, mate?

You're bleeding!

No, no, no, I'm not bleeding.

I'm fine.

Yes, you are. You're like a

bloody geyser, mate.

No, I'm fine, mate.

Ah, are you being real with me?

I'm not being anything

with you, dude.

Just I'm just...

everything's fine.

Don't you get anything don't

you get anything on my seats.

Dude, d'you have any,

do you have a Kleenex?

Don't you get anything on

my damn seats!

Dude, I won't get any blood

on your filthy seats.

If you give me a Kleenex,

I'll get it...

Or, or you will be paying for

the cleaning of this cab.

Dude, I'm not gonna have

to pay for anything. Okay?

Oh, oh yes you will, mate.

You'll be paying.

If there is the slightest

drop of blood...

anywhere in this cab, you will

be paying.

Okay. Shouldn't you just be

focused on your driving?

Oh, no, you will be charged

a full valet. Right?

You will be steamcleaning

the bleedin' engine...

after this ride, my friend.

Okay, okay, mate. Okay, great.

Just, just focus on

your driving, alright?

Just take that and stop

the blood, mate.

Thanks, mate, that's all I

ever asked you for.

Alright, just, just stop

the damn blood, will ya?

Is this used?

Well, I got sinuses, ain't I?

I'm not pulling out brand new

ones just for you.

Dude, that is disgusting.

Er, er, what's going on back

there? What was that noise?

No, no, it's nothing,

it's just the ashtray.

What, what d'you mean just

the ashtray?

What you done?

Nothing.

Oh, you've, you've broken

it, ain't ya?

No, dude, it, it was like this.

Oi, what the hell are you doing

messing with the ashtray?!

Dude, I don't know, what

is this, like an antique cab...

with, with like ornamental

ashtrays or something?

Oh... I mean, what... what

the... you know what?

Just stop the car.

No, no.

Stop the car cos I'm

getting out.

No, you're not getting out

this cab.

Dude...

Not until you pay for

the ashtray.

stop this damn car because

I'm getting out now.

No!

You're not getting out

the cab!

Not till you pay for

the ashtray!

Dude, this is kidnapping.

No, you stupid

bastard, destroying my cab!

Dude, you better stop

this friggin' cab right now.

No. No. No.

Stop it! Stop it!

No. No. No.

Stop this damn cab!

Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!

Everybody calm down!

Everybody calm down!

Dude, I will break this

f***ing thing...

No, don't you dare! I'm pulling

over! Pulling over!

Get out! Out, out!

You silly bollocks!

You're the silly bollocks!

Piss off!

( MUSIC PLAYING )

Sloane Hotel, please.

So just, can you, can you hurry?

Eh?

Just go a little faster.

Uh?

Go right on, go right on.

Please.

Go... sh*t.

Go through the lights, dude,

just go through the lights.

What's the hurry?

Life is about the journey

not the destination.

No, no, I assure you right now

it is about the destination.

We're in the hands of

the Goddess Kali.

She's a creator and destroyer.

It all depends on the mood

she's in.

Well, I don't think she's in

a very good mood tonight.

The stars can't shine

without darkness.

In the spirit of full

disclosure, I gotta tell you...

I don't have any money on me.

Mmm.

Can you speak a piece

of verse for me?

Something uplifting.

( DISTANT SIRENS WAILING )

I, I, I memorized this when

I was seven.

I told the sun that I was glad,

I'm sure I don't know why.

Somehow the pleasant way it

had of shining in the sky...

just put a notion in my

head that wouldn't it be fun...

if while walking on the hill,

I said I'm happy to the sun.

That's beautiful. I feel

I should be paying you.

No, no, no, we'll just call it

even, you know, and that's fine.

I'll tell you what...

Uh?

You, you, you just pull over

right here, this is fine, sir.

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