Love & Air Sex Page #4

Oh! Um...

Drill team.

Drill team?

Yeah.

Okay.

Can you, um...

Can you teach me?

What?

Those teabags are

looking at us.

Oh!

It's on, bro.

Oh, hell yeah,

it's on, bro.

Is there something

on my face?

No.

It's just beautiful.

Oh!

We don't need you all to

be doing no pornos in here.

We are so sorry.

He might have had a few too

many drinks this evening.

This is a family place.

We completely understand.

Nicely done, guys.

Oh, God. What? Are you serious? Perfect.

Deal's a deal.

Of course, I'm serious.

You know, I'm...

Come on, Timmy, you're

not the boss of me.

Leave the girl alone.

All right, all right.

Let's go home.

All right. Whatever.

All right?

Yes.

No, no.

No, she said yes. Dude!

All right, out the door.

Ladies, we'll be outside.

This is...

Just let me go.

I know.

Are you... That little weirdo's

dick is f***ing enormous.

I don't care if it's

six feet long.

You're just gonna

leave me here?

I'm leaving you with

the "Midnight Cowboy".

And I am taking

one for the team.

This isn't college anymore.

Pretend.

You are getting horny.

Very horny.

Have fun.

I will if you will.

Cool, bro.

All right, let him go.

Ah!

Hey.

Oh, God. Oh, my...

Bye, Katie.

I did this for you.

It's Cathy.

Where are they?

I don't see 'em and they

were following us, right?

Jeff, they were

following us, yeah?

They will be here.

Stan?

Hmm?

What are you doing?

Nothing.

My name is Stan. I made a

mistake and I want you back.

That was an excellent

impersonation of me.

That was... It was like

looking in a mirror.

Here they come.

Here they come.

Yes.

It's all right. Bring it

on, ladies. Bring it in.

Come on, right here.

Maybe I wasn't even thinking

about her just now, dude.

Maybe I was thinking

about another girl.

Like, maybe a girl

I met tonight.

I don't know, maybe she

gave me her number.

Why are you just telling

me this just now?

Well, suddenly

you're interested.

Did you tell her that she

had sh*t on her face?

No, she did

that to me.

Are you kidding me?

Are you kidding me?

What are you doing here with

your dick in your pants?

You should have your dick

in her mouth, buddy.

Come on, this is good.

This is good.

I love this.

Very good.

I will take you...

Oh, yes. I will take you.

You wanna do that?

Okay, let's do...

Mule train?

No, I'm all right.

Okay, okay. Well...

No thanks.

Okay.

So, Stan,

there are four guys and three girls and

you have a phone number in your pocket.

I think you need to

make a phone call.

Now... You got a short window,

buddy, you need to lay some track.

I don't...

Hello.

Ooh!

I don't... I think I'm just

gonna text, dude, right?

Probably texting is better

at this stage 'cause,

you know...

Oh, I wish I had her email.

Ooh, I'm sorry. That's

been broken for a while.

Oh, yeah.

There's a 7-Eleven I could walk

you to to finish your business.

Come here.

I think that something

is moving in there.

You should see the

bathroom, totally gross.

What's she doing?

Ground. So that's it.

Whoa!

Whoa!

Dude, you can do it.

Absolutely.

All right.

Just need to breathe.

It does not look that hard.

Breathing, that's not

gonna be an issue

I've been breathing

since I was born.

Look. Already half way.

Half way to finals.

No!

That's final, right there.

That was incredible.

What?

What is that?

My God, that's

a hairy python.

No, that's not a python.

That's a dick.

Oh, thank God.

So, this is you.

Yeah, this is...

This is me.

Good night.

Yes.

Yes.

Good night.

Yes.

Okay.

All right.

Okay, we're gonna do

that one more time. Yes.

Let me go ahead

and give you my card.

Cool. Give me a phone call, anytime.

You're a veterinarian?

I am a doctor

of small animals.

Don't I look like one?

Oh, you absolutely do.

Yeah. Like, even

from that angle?

Oh, especially

from that angle.

I'm a... I'm

in med school.

No kidding. That's funny. Yeah.

What made you become

a vet? That's funny.

I worked with dogs

in the Marines.

Yeah. Bomb sniffing

dogs, just kinda...

Just like fell

into it.

You were in

the Marines?

Yeah, yeah. But the dogs started

making better conversations

than some of those

jarheads I was working with.

Right. So I had to get out

of there as fast as I could.

So, that makes

you like a...

A vet vet.

Yes.

Yes, it does.

Wow.

I had fun tonight.

Yeah, I did, too.

Well, let's

do it again.

Thank you for the dance.

Thank you

for the dance.

Oh, come on,

I don't hear anything.

Hey, guys.

How's it going?

You guys hear anything in there,

I don't think they're f***ing.

Oh, hey, dude.

Hey, they're not f***ing.

I didn't give up my room

for you guys not to f***.

Let's go.

It's just really gross here.

It's like so gross.

I can't get the keys because she's

got them in there with that creep.

Hey, I got brews here

if you wanna...

No, I'm all right.

No, no, you have them.

What is it?

Is it real?

Is it from the internet?

I mean, have you seen

a penis this big before?

Could you put

that away, please?

Whoa!

If you don't get out of the

bedroom right now, we're leaving!

Hey, um...

Can I take you to breakfast

in the morning? What?

No, I wanna take you to my Saturday

place. Please, please, please.

I love talking to you so much so I just

want to keep this conversation going on.

Uh.

Please?

I'll think about it.

Okay.

Do you like migas?

Hey, beautiful, don't

knock so hard. F*** off.

It was... So sorry.

Yeah. Oh, yeah,

I bet you're sorry.

I wanna get the f***

out of here.

Hey, honey, I think I

see something on your face

Don't touch me!

What the f***

just happened?

I thought I got her wet...

I think she loved you.

I was clear on that.

Yeah, that was well played.

Yeah?

Captain f***er, you were only

in there for seven minutes.

You're a badass.

F***!

Where are you going?

El Azteca.

El Azteca?

You wanna wait

for me, man?

Mmm.

This is so good.

You cannot find migas

like this in New York.

Ugh!

Why did you let

me drink so much?

So, what happened

with Ralphie?

We tried.

I threw up.

All over his face.

Oh, God, Kara.

And he actually wanted

to keep going.

Can you believe that?

Puke all over his

face and he's like,

"I don't mind. "

You always get

the normal ones.

Okay.

You ready?

For breakfast? Yeah, I'm ready. Yeah.

Okay, yeah. Out.

My door doesn't open. Out.

Okay.

Okay.

Speaking of which,

did you guys do it?

No.

Why not?

Because I'm not...

Like me?

I didn't say that.

Yeah, it's okay. If it wasn't for

sluts no one would get laid, right?

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

I want you to be the better person in

this situation. Don't touch my face.

No. What...

What situation?

He's here.

He just came

through the door.

Oh, sh*t.

Oh, sh*t.

Be strong.

Is he alone?

Um...

I'm gonna go say hi to a

friend over there. Okay.

And I will be right back.

If I turn around and he is with

some whore... Just be strong, Kara.

I swear I'll burn this f***ing place

Okay, breathe.

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