Love And Other Drugs Page #3

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Is this a joke?

If you think $1,000 is a joke.

That's 33% fewer phone calls at 4:00 a. m...

I'd write a lot more of your scrip

if I were a regularly paid consultant.

Well, you know,

we can talk to them about that.

They spend $5 billion a year

on marketing, right?

Mmm-hmm.

Instead of flying me to Cancn

and making me sit through

some bullshit, nonsense,

peer-to-peer conference,

just give me half that money in cash.

- Yeah, but Cancn...

- Dr. Knight,

- Mrs. Putney's on the phone. Excuse me.

- Sorry.

Her daughter has to sing on Friday.

They're doing Bye Bye Birdie,

and she's playing Kim, and she wondered

if you could call in an antibiotic?

- Sure. Why not?

- Okay, thanks.

Hey.

This can't be right. Janice? Janice?

A 26-year-old needs

Parkinson's medication?

- Beth wrote that one up.

- Hi.

All right, look, if a patient asks,

you're an intern, okay?

Yeah. Can I take notes?

- Sure. Why not?

- All right.

Hey. I'm Dr. Knight.

- Maggie Murdock.

- Hi.

- So your file says, "Kind of an emergency. "

- Yeah.

My apartment was burgled yesterday,

and they took my Parkinson's meds.

But my symptoms are pretty good today,

so it's "kind of an emergency. "

I know your Lilly rep, Trey Hannigan?

He asked Cindy to squeeze me in, so...

Yeah, Trey's a great guy.

Oh. Well, I wouldn't say that.

So, monotherapy?

Yep. Sinemet CR, 50 milligrams,

two times a day,

plus Domperidone to cut the nausea,

Artane for the tremor, two milligrams,

a whole tablet, three times a day.

And Prozac, so that I'm not too bummed

about having

a major degenerative disorder at 26.

Forty milligrams, once, in the morning.

Zoloft has fewer side effects.

I'm sorry, who are you?

Jamie Randall.

Oh.

Hi.

Intern.

So, early-onset Parkinson's.

That's pretty rare.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. First they thought it was

essential tremor, then Wilson's disease,

then Huntington's.

Then, they tested for MAS, PSP, syphilis.

I was very glad for a negative on that one.

I didn't really relish the thought

of feeling like a 19th century slut.

Let's see. Then, there was

brain tumor week, which was very scary.

And then six months

chasing obscure dystonias,

but, no, it just turned out to be

good, old-fashioned Parkinson's.

Right. And... Don't you have a neurologist?

We broke up.

And do you have insurance?

Do I have insurance.

Okay.

Well, sure. Why not?

- Great.

- Is there anything else I can do for you?

Nope. Oh!

Um...

Actually, yeah.

I have a weird blotch on my breast.

I don't know,

I'm trying not to freak out about it.

- Well, let's have a look.

- Great.

Here you go. Do you see that?

- That's a spider bite.

- Is it?

Yeah, that's a spider bite.

Great!

All right.

- There you are.

- Thank you, Dr. Knight.

Sure.

You're welcome.

- You're a drug rep?

- Wait...

You let me take my shirt off,

you f***ing creep!

Wait, wait, wait. I'm hurt.

- Your buckle just hit my eye.

- No, it didn't.

- I'm hurt. I'm hurt.

- Oh, my God.

Who said I was a drug rep?

Excuse me, look at your bag!

I don't think

you're going to the f***ing airport.

Okay, look, just apologize, okay?

Just apologize.

Would you do that just once?

I would actually like to hear someone from

the medical community actually apologize!

Okay. Okay, I apologize.

I apologize on behalf of all the arrogant,

faceless, cut-off, a**hole doctors out there

who've treated you like a non-person

while peeking at your breasts.

So what's your name?

You're good.

Strong eye contact. Implied intimacy.

You'll make your quotas.

Let me take you out

for a cup of coffee then.

Whoa! What was that for?

Eat sh*t and die, that's what that was.

No, wait, wait! Hold on one second!

I can do a better apology!

'Cause I want to know.

The same white tights

I wear every single day.

You are out of your mind.

All right, nothing underneath?

- You're bad!

- So,

I need the number of

a patient he saw yesterday.

A Murdock, or something like that.

You want Maggie Murdock's number?

Yes. Because she mentioned,

like, six neurologists,

and Pfizer's coming out

with a new Parkinson's med,

and I wanna contact them all,

and I wanna make a lot of money,

Miss None Of Your Business.

- We're not supposed to give out numbers.

- What?

You gave me your number, you bad girl.

Do your friends know

how bad you really are?

Jamie!

Because if they knew

how bad you really are...

Listen, I promise I'll wear the stethoscope

next time we play naughty nurse.

Okay, I got to go. Thanks, bye.

What are you doing here?

I'm all f***ed up!

- Farrah kicked me out.

- No way.

Can you believe that? I think she's f***ing

somebody already, I swear to God!

- Why did she kick you out?

- I don't know, Jamie!

- Jesus!

- She said I was addicted to Internet porn.

- Are you?

- Of course I am!

F***! Isn't everybody?

Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, my God.

I can't breathe.

I'm having a panic attack.

- Do you have any Ativan?

- We're Xanax.

Fine, Xanax!

You have any samples of Xanax?

Jamie, I'm in a really vulnerable place

right now.

Okay. Okay.

Okay. Hey, hey, hey.

Come here, come here, come here.

It's okay.

Dude! Dude!

We're not huggers.

Faster. Come on! We got this!

- Josh, will you turn that down?

- Oh. No.

Josh!

- Hello?

- Why did you take that picture?

Is that the girl with the tits?

How'd you get my number?

What, you called Knight's office?

- How'd you get my number?

- From the receptionist.

Who you're f***ing.

What'd she say?

Have coffee with me.

- Why?

- Because I'm a drug rep.

I'm not a creep.

Same thing.

Look, I'm sorry that I stared at your tits,

but they're really nice.

Hello?

Yes. Yes.

Oh, I thought you hung up for a second.

Should I have?

What, and miss the opportunity

of insulting me?

Oh, you like being insulted?

Hold on a second.

Ow!

Um...

By the right person.

Oh, my God. This is a sales call, isn't it?

You're gonna stay on the phone with me

until I say yes, aren't you?

Well, I take my work very seriously.

All right. Bye.

Ow!

Why is your answer

to everything violence?

I said 5:
00.

- Very cute.

- Oh! Please, you can have him.

Khaki pants? No, thanks.

So... What's your name?

Jamie Randall.

Jamie, right. Okay, sorry.

What's your game?

My game?

I'm sorry, right, this is

the part where we talk about

where we come from

and what we majored in, in college.

You have beautiful eyes.

That's it? That's the best you got?

I'm serious. They're beautiful.

Well, thank you. Let's see, what else?

My childhood? When did I get sick?

So, are you always this mean?

Actually, this is me being nice.

So, how's your quota this month?

Have you had

your first performance review?

Is that a resting tremor?

Comes and goes?

It's none of your business.

Happens when you're nervous.

Mr. Expert, why would I be nervous?

- 'Cause you're interested.

- And that would make me nervous?

Yeah, your mind's telling you one thing,

your body's telling you something else.

You left me standing

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