Love At First Hiccup Page #5

Oh, I know.

You do?

You could come by around 8.

Eight? I can do 8, yeah!

And bring something with you.

If you know what I mean.

Right. Right. Something.

Sure.

I'm the king of the world!!

Good day, young man, haven't seen

you before. How may I help you?

My Miniature Pony?

Yeah, it's for my little br...

sister!

Anything else I can get for you?

Yeah, I, I really need some cond...

some, some cond...

...some condensed milk.

Condensed milk? Alright.

- Is that all?

- No, no, I, I, I need some cond...

- Some cond....

- Cond?

Condoms...

- I, I mean some rubb....

- Rub what?

Some ru... bbing alcohol.

Rubbing alcohol.

Hm hum. Yep, that, that's the stuff.

And I really need some cond...

Some co... Ca, Ca, Castillo's, Cas,

Castello's.

Those.

How old are you?

Oh, no, I wouldn't

touch those things.

- They're for my dad.

- Ahh, someone's having a party...

Yo, Victor. Whatcha doing?

Didn't look like a Havana.

You wanna make 5 bucks?

Not really, but I wouldn't mind

making 20.

And what may I get for you today,

son?

I'd like to buy some jimmy hats.

I'm sorry I'm not familiar with

the name. What may they be?

Dingers, johnnies, gloves.

The thing you need when

you're banging a chick, of course.

Oh, my!

I suppose you mean condoms,

my young fellow?

Duh, what are you deaf?

Rubbers with colors.

And you don't suppose you're a bit

too young for that sort of thing?

I don't think so mister, the fat

one's getting hairy already.

I'm sorry, are you feeling alright,

ma'am?

I just need to lean up against

something.

Or should I rather buy

the ribbed ones?

They're supposed

to prolong the pleasure.

Listen, kid. We only have normal

kinds, no colors, knobs or flavors!

Alright, I'll make do with the

smooth ones. A carton of Trojans.

A carton? Are you completely

out of your mind, kid?

There's 200 in a carton!!

Yeah, I'm spending

the entire weekend with her -

- and she's a lush one so...

Alrighty then, give me two.

- Two cartons?

- No, just two.

I can always

flip them over and reuse.

- Four-fifty.

- Keep the change.

You wouldn't happen to have

a dressing room out back, -

- just so I can

try them on for size?

Get out!

I can't believe my brother's

actually gonna get some.

It'll make great footage.

It's gotta be possible to paint

the rain coats with luminous paint.

So we can see the action in details.

Not necessary, my man, this baby's

got night vision!

Nice. Not sure how well the film will

sell with a "happy ending" though.

Yeah. Right now Victor's

the only one who'll get one.

- We need more drama.

- Perhaps we can think of something.

Would you mind sharing

what you just said with the class?

Yeah, sure thing Mrs. T.

It was about my gang bang with

three playmates last weekend....

Alright! That's quite enough

sharing, Zack!

Hey, you wanted to know. I also

showed the chicks my trapeze stunt...

Principal's office! Both out you!

Now!

Yeah, we gotta bounce anyway.

Our b*tches are waiting.

We out.

Hello baby!! Your man is back!

What did you smoke today?

Oh, good evening Mr. Benton, Sir.

Call me Roger, Spider man.

Did you bring us any other

dangerous animals this time?

Not tonight, Mr. Benton.

Oooh!

Roger.

Too bad. Still no Hugo.

Come on, I'll take you

up to Anya's room.

You two are working on a science

project for school tonight?

Yeah. Yeah. For... science class.

Okay.

Hi!

Hey.

I'm almost done.

And... I'm done.

So, aren't your parents

gonna play cards tonight?

I don't think so.

They actually asked

if we could watch Brian tonight.

Hope that's

okay with you.

Sure. Sure, yeah,

that's, that's fine.

Gotcha! They leave in 10 minutes!

That is not even funny.

No.... Okay...

Stop!

Hey, there.

Just wanted to let you two know

that we're leaving.

- Okay, see you.

- Bye.

Get some work done.

We'll be back shortly.

Have fun! Live free.

So?

So...

You want a glass of milk?

To break the ice?

Only if it's whole milk.

Now that we've got that

taken care of....

...do you wanna go back to my room?

Can you turn off the lights?

Maybe it's a little too dark.

No, it isn't, it's okay.

Victor, what are you doing?

- I'm touching you.

- No, no, no, you're not!

- I thought it felt a little funny.

- Thanks for the compliment.

Are you ready

to get completely naked?

Victor, did you... bring something?

Of course.

One second.

Got it.

One second.

I can't get this piece of crap open.

Come...

Alright.

Is it on?

- Yeah, on my fingers.

- Relax.

It's my first time too, remember?

Yeah....

It was a lot easier putting it

on Ernie's fingers in sex-ED.

How in the... hell?

I have another one!

Okay.

Aren't we lucky, it has a manual.

"Roll slowly over erect penis".

How poetic.

Let me try.

"Erect penis".

That certainly isn't a problem.

Abracadabra...

Voil!

- My parents! Already?

- What?

Victor, that's my dress!

The bed, the bed.

Help me, help me make the bed.

I just don't think it's necessary!

She is 18 now, you know.

Hey kids. We're back.

- Hello.

- Hey.

So, have you two been, uh,

behaving yourselves?

What do you think, dad?

Well, your father seems to believe

that you are a responsible adult.

Victor, my man,

did you hit all the angles?

Okay, come on, Brian, time for bed.

Hey. That's a nice science project

there, guys. What is it?

- It's a...

- Lexington Hussil.

Hussil. A Lexington Hussil.

Oh, I see.

Victor, could I have a little chat

with you for a minute?

In the kitchen.

For Christ sakes, dad, does it have

to be right now?

It's, it's fine. It's, it's fine.

Victor!

- Where did the other one go?

- I didn't have a chance to take it off!

Cheers.

One has to be careful

not to sit down on Hugo.

Still haven't found that little bugger.

You know, Victor,

it's become clear to me that...

...my daughter likes you very much

and you like her, and...

Constance and I think that

you're just ah, well, you know...

In fact, you remind me very much of

myself when I was your age.

Always going after the hot, older gal.

So, I hope that the two of you,

you know, could be togetherfor....

- At least some time.

- So do I, sir.

Yeah. So, I understand that the two of

you wanna have sex with each other.

No. Hey, relax, -

- it's, you know it's completely

natural. Completely natural.

At your ages, you know. Even at

my age, I like to have it occasionally.

Mostly with my wife.

I'm in the cut-throat world

of advertising, alright?

It's kill or be killed.

We're working on a big campaign now,

spending millions of dollars in fact, -

- to get young people to understand

that protection can be "hip".

And that it's important forthem

to have a condom on them -

- every time

they leave their home.

Well, I don't mean on them,

of course...

- No.

- But with them.

You know, in their wallet,

or their pocket, -

- it doesn't matter where, as

long as they have the darn thing.

So, can I ask you a personal question?

Of course. Yeah.

How often

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