Love Crazy Page #3

Shall I telephone for them to send it up?

Oh, no, no. I'II... I'll get it later.

I guess I'll have to change.

Just come in here with me, dear, will you?

Hello? Hello?

Will you ask the elevator boy

for Mr. Ireland's hat, please?

Thank you.

How do you like my new neck, dear?

You know, it must have stretched a foot

while I was hanging there waiting

for the elevator to get back up again.

Susan, is this the only course

we're going to have for dinner?

No, dear...

Oh, I forgot. It's a little mistake.

It was Steve's idea

to have dinner backwards.

Dinner backwards?

Yeah, on account of our anniversary.

Oh, I see. Yes.

Martha, we'll have it the regular way.

I told you, you wouldn't like it that way.

The elevator boy found your hat.

It was in Mrs. Grayson's apartment.

Mrs. Grayson? Who's that?

Oh, yes, gee,

I forgot to tell you about that, dear.

Isobel Kimble,

that is, Isobel Grayson she is now.

Well, they live right underneath us here,

she and her husband, Pinky.

She was in the elevator

when it broke down,

so I went in with her for a minute,

and I guess that's where I left my hat.

Isobel Kimble.

That's the girl who gave you a black eye

when you told her

you were going to marry me.

Yes, but she's married now

and got a husband.

Really? Whose husband has she got?

Susan, now don't let Stephen think

that you don't trust him.

Stephen knows very well

how I feel about Isobel Kimble.

- Don't you, dear?

- Now, honey-pot!

What did Mr. Pinky Grayson think

when he saw you walking in with his wife?

Oh, he wasn't...

Well, what do you think he thought?

He thought, "There's Steve Ireland

walking in with my wife."

It's the elevator boy again.

He says Mrs. Grayson wants her shoes.

Oh, well, I guess

they must be in my other coat.

Well!

That's how Steve dresses me, you know.

He steals a pair of shoes here,

a dress there.

All I have to buy are my underthings,

thank heaven.

Stephen, tell us your story

of how you got Mrs. Grayson's shoes.

She took them off

to stand on my shoulders.

Sounds like fun.

Well, it wasn't fun.

Excuse me. Mrs. Grayson wants to know

if you took her Punkins.

Mmm-hmm?

Punkins is her dog!

Oh!

- Too bad you have to eat and run, Mother.

- Thank you, Stephen.

I do hope you children have enjoyed

the evening as much as I have.

Oh, I must write down

that new recipe for hollandaise.

Oh, you haven't time, Mother.

It's nearly 8:
00.

- You'll miss Aunt Laura.

- Oh, I mustn't do that.

Still, if I don't do it now,

it means making another trip.

Not really, Mother.

There's a new invention

called the telephone.

- They tell me it works like a charm.

- That's what I'll do, I'll telephone.

- Good night, darling.

- Good night, dear.

- Good night, Stephen.

- Good night, Mother.

Happy anniversary, children.

- Oh, Mother! Are you all right?

- No. It's my ankle. I've sprained it again.

Oh, I'm so sorry. I'll call a doctor.

Yes... No, don't you think it'd be better

if she went to a hospital?

No, I'd rather stay here.

Help me onto a couch, Stephen.

I'll show you how to bind it, Stephen.

Have you got a bandage?

I hope not. I mean, I don't think so.

- Does it hurt?

- Of course, it hurts, dear.

Oh, that's right.

Oh, what on earth are we going to do

about Aunt Laura?

Susan, you'll have to meet her.

Well, can't Martha go?

- Oh, I'm sorry, darling. Martha's gone.

- Gone?

Say, what does she do

after dinner, evaporate?

Well, I suppose I'll have to go.

How can you meet her, Stephen?

You don't even know her.

- Oh, no, well...

- Run along, Susan.

Oh, I hate to go, darling, but I have to.

- You only have to drive her to Westvale.

- Westvale?

Why, that'll take half the night.

Look, Susan!

Look, honey-darling.

It's our one night of the year.

- I know.

- Well, can't we get out of it someway?

- Well, what would you suggest?

- Oh, shove Aunt Laura under a truck.

I'll see what I can do. Goodbye, dear.

- Hurry, Susan.

- Yes, Mother.

- And don't worry about me, dear.

- No, Mother.

Susan, I'm so dreadfully afraid

that you're going to miss that train, dear.

Goodbye, baby.

Stephen!

Happy anniversary, honey-pot.

Stephen!

Stephen, I do think that you should

have warned me about that rug.

I'm doing it better. I think I'll soon be able

to beat any of the girls.

All right, Stephen. Stephen?

- May I have the cards again, please?

- Oh, yes.

And do stop mooning about Susan.

She'll be back in a couple of hours.

Oh, yes, sure.

I don't mind picking up cards

for a couple of hours.

They hardly weigh a thing.

Well, Stephen, it certainly

will help take down your waistline.

Won't it.

Look, if you don't mind,

I think I'll have a little breath of fresh air.

All right, but don't stay long.

I'll want you again in a few minutes.

- Will 20 seconds be all right?

- Of course.

Hey, Gargantua! Where's your keeper?

Hello!

Don't tell me you haven't gone to bed

by 9:
00, or are you sleep-walking?

If you must know,

I'm spending a quiet evening alone

with my mother-in-law.

And I'm thinking of jumping off the roof.

Then jump right down here,

my beamish boy.

- Aunt Isobel will take you places.

- Oh, I couldn't do that.

Come on, it's a wonderful night

for falling down on a dance floor.

No, I can't.

Stephen!

Will you come pick them up, please?

Why can't I? Hey, maybe I could.

Stephen!

Look! I'll tell you what I'll do.

You call me up on the telephone

right away and let me do the talking.

Okay, sugar. It's on the fire.

Well, shot the whole deck already, huh?

And how many did you get in this time?

Oh, quite a few.

I'm getting better all the time.

Yes. Well, you know, practice does it.

It looks like a beautiful night outside.

Is the moon shining?

Oh, yes. Oh, the moon?

Oh, excuse me, Mother.

Hello? This is Steve Ireland.

Who?

J.B.! Well, you old rascal!

Yes, J.B. Oh, is that so?

Well, look, J.B., I'll dash right over.

It'll only take me a minute.

Yes, J.B. Okay, J.B.

Oh, dear! That's...

That's very unfortunate. It's...

Hello, this is Mr. Ireland.

Would you call me a taxi, please,

right away? Yes, thanks.

I'm so sorry, Mother. You know,

I wouldn't do this for everybody,

but I hate to lose an account like J.B.'s.

Oh, that's quite all right, Stephen,

if you really think you should go.

Yes, yes. Well, I... I... I do.

I'll see you later, Mother.

And... And don't think

that it hasn't been fun because it hasn't.

- Hello, Mother.

- Hello, dear.

Well, I finally got Aunt Laura

bedded down.

That's good.

An infantry division

would have been easier.

- How's your ankle?

- Oh, my ankle isn't troubling me anymore.

That's good. Stevie!

I'll be very much surprised

if you find him in there.

Really?

- Where is he?

- I'm sure I couldn't say.

Mother, there's that smile again.

What are you trying to tell me?

I heard Stephen talking

to that Grayson woman.

Isobel Grayson?

Yes, he told her to call him here,

and he'd arrange to get away.

- Are you sure?

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