Love Hard Page #4

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N-Um, lactually should probably go shower.

Jgm-Oh, I'm sure you look absolutely beautiful. But full disclosure, | can't see sh*t.

Jm- Please sit.

N- Wow, this all looks so delicious

Jd-Oh, please, help yourself to anything. Oh. bacon?

J-Oh, she's a vegetarian.

N-I'm a vegetarian. But thank voy Mr. Lin.

Jm-So where did you lovebirds rush off to last night?

J-Oh, we went to McGregor s for karaoke.

N-Mm-hmm.

[Barb] Oh, how was that?

N-Oh J-It was uh. swell? Right, Natalie?

Jgm-Well, I want to hear all about how you two met.

J-Oh, it's justan online dating app.

N-Not much to it. [scoffs]

J- Just text text, send. Next thing you know, she's right next to me.

N-Here | am. –

[Josh. Natalie chucklel

Jgm-What nonsense. People used to fall in and out of love based so upon the written word. The pen is mightier than the penis.

-[chokes]

Jm-Grandma, let's--We have company

Jd-Let's eat our eggs before they get cold

Jgm-So, Natalie, what was it about Josh that first caught your eye?

N-Gee. l mean, | don't even know where to start. There was just so many unbelievable things in his profile. His photos. I took one look at that hair, that unidue physique. ALL THINGS Uh, I mean, that jawline. [scoffs] I though to myself, "'It's too cood to be true.

Jm- Oh no, it's true. He's gotten more chiseled in the last couple of vears.

N-Oh, but it wasn't just the photos that enshared me. His bio He's passionate about life Loves all things outdoors

Jd-He mentioned the store. –

[Josh chuckles]

[sniffs] My father started it 50 years ago I run it now, but Josh is one of the salesmen.

J-We don't have to talk shop at breakfast.

Jd-Oh, but it’s so fascinating.

N-And all the travel that it must involve.

Jd- Well, if you count lunch runs to Applebee's, then Josh travels every day.

[Natalie] Applebee's!

Jgm- You know, I've been thinking about joining one of those dating sites. My friend Darlene down at Shimmering Pines, she loined one called Gray Play, and she has seen more ass than a church pew.

Jm-Okay, June! Seriously.

Jgm- I could use your expertise in setting up my profile.

N-Oh. Um. Yeah

Jgm-May I see yours? And can you show me Josh's?

N-I didn't brino my phone. It’s downstairs.

J-Maybe later, Grams Yeah. Natalie and I have to head out. Uh, I'm gonna show her a grand tour of Lake Placid and the store

Jm-Oh. That's a great idea. Fun.

J- Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Jm- Bye, Drive carefully.

N- Oh. Yeah Mmm. So good!

J- She loves her toast!

J- Okay. The first thing you need to know about Tag is he likes outdoorsy, adventurous women. Not Instagram models who count carbs.

N- I don't count carbs. monitor them

J- Sure. Whatever you say. So uh, what size are you?

[N- scofts] None of your business. Besides, what's wrong with what I'm wearing?

J-You wanna look relaxed like you don't care. So go put these on because Tag is gonna be here Any minute.

N- What?

J-Yeah, he's got an order come in. I told him to swing by at 11:00.

J-Oh, also, take this.

N-Uh. [sighs] Walden? Are you kidding me? Thoreau was an a**hole.

J-Pretend you like it because that's Tag's favorite book. Also! When you're talking to him throw in some rock climbing lingo. He loves that sh*t.

Jd- is that Tag?

T-Captain America!

Jd-How's it going?

T-Ooh! Solid as a rock! Thank you. It's good to see you, Mr. Lin. hear you got some carabiners for me?

Jd-Sure do. They're in the back.

J-| want you to meet someone today.

[Tag] Oh? Okay.

[Tag] Nice stuff. Get some new duds in?

[Josh] Always. Tag, I want you to meet my cousin Natalie. And Natalie, I want you to meet my old friend Tag.

T-You two are cousins?

N-Yeah. Uh. We. Well-

J-From my stepmom's side, so that would technically make us step-cousins.

Tag-oh.

N-A distinction that only really matters if you're from Alabama

J-She's such a joker.

T-Yeah Walden?

N-Oh.

T-That's my favorite book. I reread it every year.

N-Really? Wow.

Tag] Yeah,

N-No way!

T-[chuckles] Yeah. Isn't Thoreau the best?

N-Well, some people find him a self-obsessed narcissist, fanatical about self-control, not to mention a total hypocrite, but personally, I find him so inspiring.

T-"Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth. [sighs] I'm sorry. It gets me every time.

N-If anyone gets it, it's me.

T-God Have we met before? Because you look so familiar. I just can't put my finger on it.

J-Unlikely. Natalie just flew in from California this morning

N-This morning.

T-l actually teach a survival course in Yosemite every summer

N-Savage! [clears throat]

T-I guess you could say that, yeah.

N-I love Yosemite. It's, uh, I mean, there's some gnar-- like, gnarly climbing there.

T-You climb?

N-Me? [scoffs] Do I climb? I'll climb anything that moves. I'm an aggro.

T-Aggro?

J-Yeah, like aggressive. Aggro. [growls]

N-I climb all kinds of things like ladders, um, houses, um, trees, ladders. Mostly ladders. [chuckles]

T-That's cool. "Um. a few of us are climbing at Rock Ventures tomorrow. Wanna join?

J-Hell yeah! Let's do it.

T-Great.

N-Mm-hmm.

T-10:
00 a.m.?

J-Perfect.

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