Love Is All There Is Page #3

Where are you going?

Paris.

For the summer...

to study with the Ballet Russe.

Paris, France?

There's so much more to do there

than there is here.

You can climb

the Eiffel Tower...

and you can go to the cancan.

We should go.

We're going to be late.

lt was nice meeting you.

l'm sorry. l'm sorry.

Don't you yell at my son!

He bumps himself a lot

when he's happy...

and he's very happy

that he has a thin Juliet.

You have a very nice bathroom.

Can l drop you anywhere, Ma?

Drop me?

Yeah. When Miss DeLuca

first works with an actor...

she doesn't like

to have any eyewitnesses.

l mean, amateur nonactors.

So, Ma, can l drop you or what?

No, no, no.

lt's not far. l'll walk.

OK.

You dress funny.

l like it.

l'm smelling her.

l'm smelling her.

ls this new Juliet

the one that my Rosario...

is going to give up

his life for?

Big bosom, strong thighs,

small culo?

-Yeah.

-That's her.

The Blessed Roscoe corroborates.

At least she's leaving tomorrow.

Maybe no damage can be done

between now and then. Right?

What does the Blessed Roscoe

say l should do?

Nothing.

Love...is all there is.

Love is all there is?

How did the candles work?

My husband told me

to hold the cat, too.

l made a mistake.

Those candles are for

young honeymooners in trouble.

You need something for older

eroticism that's capsizing.

Here. When these burn down

to the genital area...

he'll be sure to grab you,

not the cat.

Thanks.

That's $9 for the candles,

$30 for the reading--

Look, about Rosario,

l just can't do nothing?

He's too young to ruin his life.

Hold the phone.

Take these two birds.

The one with the yellow ring

is the male.

He represents your son.

Keep sprinkling oregano

on his tail--

the desire

for higher education.

The other one is the female.

Squint your eyes.

You see her aura?

Right now it's white...

because the Blessed Roscoe

is present.

This is an aura duster.

Keep dusting her aura to keep

her love for Rosario pure.

Don't let it turn orange...

or you're in the danger,

lower-crotch area.

Here. Keep reciting this chant

to the two birds.

''He is love deep.

''He is sacrifice all.

''He is education's first.

''He is in it

for the long haul.''

OK. That's $3.00

for the oregano...

$24.50 for the aura duster...

$42.50 for the birds...

a buck and a half for the chant.

He is love deep.

He is sacrifice all.

But his education's first.

All right, as soon as

she's in the costume...

we're going

to start the rehearsal.

-Yes, Miss DeLuca.

-We know.

l hear...

that the new Juliet's dress...

had to be opened up

this much on top.

That's how big her titties are.

l wish l had that problem.

Every night, l pray

that mine will grow bigger.

My mother says it ain't

the size that counts.

lt's the quality.

That's because your mother

got small titties.

l hope she's built better

than lsabel.

With her belly, the audience

wouldn't even have seen me.

l hear she's from ltaly...

so she don't talk English

too good like us.

Where do you think

Romeo and Juliet lived?

ln England. Ain't that

where Shakespeare lives?

Shakespeare's dead, you dope.

How do l know?

l don't watch PMS.

l got ham and provolone.

-Ciabatta and anchovies.

-l got eggs.

Ronny, your pizza's here!

Where's the pepperoni?

Snack time is over!

All right, come on.

Let's get to work.

All right. Gina,

you have just met Rosario...

so l want to assure you that

the kisses will be discreet.

All right.

With your bodies apart...

you're going to let

your lips brush lightly...

like a butterfly's wings

on a rose petal.

You got to leave the passion

to the audience's imagination.

All right? Go ahead.

Wait! Keep this much space

between your torsos.

Let your lips just touch

for one brief instant.

Perfect!

OK, everybody, come on!

Places from

the top of the show!

My granddaughter Rita's

playing the part of Prologue.

Mikey, if you could have seen

the way he drooled...

when he looked at her.

Boys his age

are supposed to drool.

But Mona says he's going

to give up everything--

She really sees you coming.

Now we got two frigging birds

who can't stop crapping...

stinking up our house.

What are you two talking about?

-Nothing.

-l saw your lips moving.

Where's your tooth?

l forgot.

There they are.

Look at them with their

Florentine noses in the air.

lt looks like

they're smelling something.

They're looking this way.

l am sure

that Regina having to act...

with the son of these Sicilians

make her as sick as l am.

We have no choice...

because we have to win over

their low-class clientele.

Good morrow.

ls the day so young?

But new struck nine.

Ay me, sad hours long.

Was that my father

that went hence so fast?

lt was.

He is so handsome...

just like Errol Flynn

in the old movies.

He fences good.

You'd never know he was clumsy.

Oh, sh*t!

'Tis not to me she speaks.

Why do they make him wear

them blue pantyhose?

lt makes

his dingle look too big.

Shh, Ma.

God forbid!

Where is this girl?

Juliet! Juliet!

How now, who calls?

Your mother.

Madam, l am here.

What is your will?

How eloquent she is.

Yes, but is a mismatch...

because she make

the Sicilian mama's boy...

look like a buffoon

from the circus.

Saints do not move...

though grant

for my prayers' sake.

Then move not,

while my prayer's effect l take.

Oh, boy.

Thy drugs are quick.

Thus with a kiss l die.

They're doing it for real.

Rosario!

Rosario! No more.

Stop!

My God.

l never saw this before.

How dare he do that

to my little girl!

He pretend to be mama's boy.

Oldest Sicilian trick

in the back of the book.

Why she don't stop him? Why?

Because she has to act

as if she's dead...

and he's taken advantage.

Mona knew.

The Blessed Roscoe knew.

That's what masculine acting is.

You kiss the girl

like you go for her.

Her aura is changing.

-What?

-Nothing.

Rosario!

She is kissing him

with her mouth open.

Stop!

l don't care

if l lose the business.

l don't raise my daughter

for this.

l am going to pull the curtain.

Let me go!

You don't understand.

Get out of the way!

...violate my daughter.

Let me out of here!

Piero, come back!

They've stopped kissing!

Come back. Come on.

Please, let me go.

You got some nerve, fatso.

l...die.

l hate those pantyhose.

His dingle

looks even bigger now.

Dear God! ls he stiff?

l think he's stiff from her.

That's just a towel in there...

so they don't hurt it

when they duel.

lt's a towel. l'm so relieved.

-Let me see!

-Get out of my way!

Stop looking.

Sicilian son of a b*tch!

This is so embarrassing.

lt's growing.

l will kiss thy lips.

Haply some poison

yet doth hang on them...

to make me die

with a restorative.

My poor baby has to kiss

the Sicilian animal now!

l hope she bite off his lips and

spit them into his face!

Oh, my God.

This must be method acting.

Gina...a butterfly's wings.

A butterfly's wings.

Her aura, it's turning orange.

Go for it, Gina!

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