Love Is All There Is Page #5

a ballerina.

Mother and Father

both gave up studying...

for the opera

when they got married...

and l thought that their dream

for me was mine, too.

Mother wants

to keep me away from men...

until l am famous...

and Father wants me

to marry only royalty...

that has not gone broke,

like we did in Firenze.

My parents named the business

''Prince Rosario'' after me.

Your parents were right.

You are a prince.

l'm not going away.

Yeah. You got a right

to think for yourself.

Yes.

Let's go tell them.

Who? You and me?

You won't let them

intimidate me, will you?

Absolutely not.

l'm used to dealing

with crazy people.

My grandmother

is a complete fruitcake.

You let me do the talking

to your parents, OK?

lf we knew where they was,

wouldn't we tell you?

lf your son

dishonor our daughter...

l will hold you responsible!

Our daughter is

an angel of regal bearing...

a treasure,

a princess from a fairy tale...

who walk in purity!

And what's our son--

a big bag of sh*t?

Mike!

Please don't use the ''s'' word.

Our son is a gentleman,

and he's an altar boy.

He's a lover of all mothers.

l will call the police!

l will call the FBl!

They have

just drive up in the car!

See? Nothing from nothing.

Let's go to bed.

What will you say to him?

l'll tell him,

''Hey, forget about Paris.

''She's with me. Get it?''

How's that?

Let's get out of here!

My father will kill you!

She's just a baby,

p*ssy wussy pussycat!

She's a little baby calico cat.

She's a little kissable cat.

She's a little--

Hey, Mikey.

Get the hell out of here.

Oh, yes!

Thank you, Blessed Roscoe.

-What's that?

-Nothing.

-Keep doing what you're doing.

-You got it.

Hello. Yes.

The kids, they left.

We got to find out where

they are.

l'm not feeling so good.

l'm a little nauseous.

Get me a cup of mint tea.

Hello.

Mona, could you please

do me a favor...

and ask the Blessed Roscoe

if he knows where the kids are?

Hold on a second.

The Blessed Roscoe sees

their expectation to consummate.

Oh, boy! Does he know where?

He sees water,

a bed, the letter ''C.''

-Uh-huh.

-That's it. l got to go.

Three people have asked me

to try and make rain.

Water, a bed, the letter ''C.''

The letter ''C.''

Mike, we got to get

to the Capri Motel...

before they consummate

in a waterbed!

How do you know they're there?

Because it all adds up.

My parents

are great in a crisis.

Wait right here.

l'll be right back.

Ma! Pop! l need you

for some advice, huh?

Ma!

The only one home is my grandma,

and she's sleeping.

You will not

ever leave me, will you?

No.

No, no. l love you.

From the tip of my heart

to the depth of my soul...

l love you.

l'd like to see your room.

Well, it's real messy.

Be tender with me.

l'm a virgin.

Ditto.

-l don't see his car.

-Good.

We're going to save them

from ruining their lives.

Oh, Romeo!

Romeo, wherefore art thou,

Romeo?

The moon, Juliet.

l'm on the moon!

Oh, my God!

l don't believe it.

-ls it them?

-No.

lt's Dr. Rondino

and Miss DeLuca.

What does this mean?

lt means up, down, up, down.

They ain't coming here.

Let's go home.

Water...

bed, and the letter ''C.''

Water, bed, the letter ''C''!

''C'' for Cappamezza on the water!

Mikey, they're in our house

on our water!

You go look. l can't look.

All right. l'll go look.

l'm going to go look.

l left the candles burning.

Rosario! Rosario!

Who is it?

lt's your mother and dad.

l'm sleeping.

l'll talk to you in the morning.

Get dressed

and get in the closet.

Where's my underpants?

Here. Where's my bra?

Here's your bra,

and here's your panties.

l know you're in there

with the girl.

What makes you think that?

l can sense it

with my mother's intuition.

There. He took her home,

and he was sleeping.

Go back to bed, Rosario.

Come on.

l feel bad l didn't trust him.

l'm going to go back

and apologize.

Rosario, please forgive--

We love each other very deeply.

She's through living a lie

to make her parents happy.

And that is

why we slept together.

You slept together?

You didn't have sex, did you?

No. They were

bobbing for apples.

Oh, not Rosario.

This girl, she's Juliet.

l did this.

l left the candles burning.

l misread the Blessed Roscoe's--

All right. All right.

Look, girlie...

we're adults, my wife and me.

You had a bisensual rendezvous

for two with my son...

and you should wallow in it

tomorrow on the plane.

What my husband

is trying to say is...

just cherish the bliss you had

with Rosario in ballet school...

and then maybe

in six or seven years...

No. l do not

want to go to Paris.

Yeah! And if she goes,

l go, too.

What? You got

to graduate high school...

to go to college,

And what about this summer?

You and me were going

to cure pepperoni together.

Are you trying to tell us...

that you would give up

everything for this girl?

Ma, do you want me

to be happy and live...

or miserable and die?

These are my only choices?

Yeah.

Excuse me a minute, please.

Sadie, l can't talk now.

l got another client here.

This is an emergency!

So is this. Talk quick.

Me and the Blessed Roscoe

have got our hands full.

For seven years...sneaking

around in cheap motels...

in forbidden bliss

on damp mattresses.

Rosario says he doesn't want

to live without this girl.

Why me? Why me?

What am l going to do?

The Blessed Roscoe is poking me.

He says we'll marry

when his mother dies.

Could you hold it down

for a second, sweetheart?

l'm trying to commune here.

The woman is 94!

l may die before her.

The Blessed Roscoe says

love is not enough.

l thought he said

love is all there is.

Love is all there is...

but it's also not enough.

What does that mean?

l don't know, Sadie.

Figure it out.

His old mother suffers so.

Do you think you might have

some humane herbs...

to help her to Heaven?

The Blessed Roscoe and me

are healers, not hit men.

Love is all there is.

Love is not enough.

Open this door.

l want to speak to your son.

We demand to know

where our daughter is.

Wait here.

Open this door.

My son ain't here.

The car is in front.

We know he is in there.

Quick, hide her.

No. lt is time they found out

who l really am...

and who made me true to myself.

We will tell them, right,

Rosario?

Alack, there lies more peril

in thine eyes, Juliet...

than 20 of their swords.

Don't be a sucker, Rosario.

Play dumb.

Regina, what are you doing here?

We have something

we want you to know...

something very important.

Tell them.

Who, me?

Please, come in.

Join us in our parlor...

and we'll have

a little tte--tte talk.

May l offer you a banana?

How about a gummy bear?

We don't want banana,

gummy bear.

We want to know

the A, B, C, and the D!

Did you ever see the episode of

''As The World Turns''...

where Emily tells Barbara

that she and Gavin had...

a mystical odyssey on the beach?

Or maybe you read

in the ''National Enquirer''...

about Cher

and her latest guitarist...

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