Low Cost Page #4

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I cut my finger on the machete. Sorry.

- What now, boss?

- I have an idea.

I don't cut feet, I cut toenails!

Then cut his toenails,

only a bit higher up.

Let's try something else.

I have to cut off your foot.

I admit I don't really feel like it.

So, tell me if you mind.

Could you cut off your foot, please?

Sorry about the music.

- He's dead.

- What?

You killed him?

He deceased himself.

How'd he do that?

He rushed at my knife

and stuck it in his gut.

I've never killed anyone before.

"It's not evil but good

that produces guilt." Lacan.

He was our only hostage.

I'm no boss, I'm a piece of sh*t.

Now, now.

Don't get all worked up about it.

I'd like to apologize,

because we're all going to die.

We're all gonna croak.

Would you make love with me?

Does anyone have any anti-depressants?

Reading a catalogue?

You travel with the JC Penny catalogue?

It's heavy!

It relaxes me when I'm stressed.

And it's Sears.

It's not Penny's, it's Sears.

I see.

Here, look. Be careful.

Page 147.

See that girl?

What age do you give her? 40?

When I was little,

she advertised bed sheets.

You recreate an ideal world

that doesn't scare you,

that you can control.

You like fakes.

That's why you're a waffle spy.

What's going on? You nuts?

I didn't ask you!

Without you,

I'd be sitting quietly in my corner,

like I always have.

All this is your fault!

What? My fault?

Are you joking?

Is it my fault you're in waffles?

Or so neurotic

you can't talk to midgets?

Or wear serial killer glasses?

Or that you're ugly?

Ugly? Me?

I'm ugly? Ugly yourself!

Me, ugly? Say what you like,

but I'm not ugly!

You are ugly! You think it's enough

to be beautiful to be beautiful?

I know what I mean.

As for me, I might be ugly,

but I'd rather be ugly

than a sorry stewardess.

- Alone and jobless.

- Who says I'm alone?

It's obvious you're alone!

I can tell.

I can spot single girls

and nosejobs anywhere.

You're alone

and that makes you ugly!

You stupid moron!

Stupid like this catalogue!

How's life?

Is this yours?

Yes.

Better and better.

Here.

What's that?

The rebel leader's foot.

I'm an army surgeon.

Why not say so

when the girl needed one?

She has lice!

We can take off soon.

The boss is back,

so they're in for it!

Here's what we do.

See the tank truck over there?

It's their gas revisions.

Provisions.

- You can say both.

- Either.

We move foward, throw one,

it explodes, and we take off.

And their leader?

What leader?

The dead guy whose foot we cut off,

who was to be returned alive.

Oh, yeah.

The leader, I know.

Same plan, but on top of it,

we throw out the leader.

Brilliant.

You sulking?

Absolutely not.

Sorry for what I said earlier.

That's easy.

But I think I hit the nail on the head.

Sorry to interrupt a moving scene

that could make a stone weep.

Your plan is excellent.

- What's your name again?

- Dagobert.

- I'm not joking.

- Me neither.

- Sorry.

- What'd you say?

I can't remember, Dagobert.

You said his plan is excellent.

Are you all right?

No. I took pills,

thinking our time was up. I'm done for.

- What'd you take?

- Vitamin C.

Come on.

You all with me on this?

You'd better believe it.

We'll take 'em apart.

Could you hold this?

Jean-Claude?

Come over here.

- Mind if I call you Jean-Claude?

- It's my name.

It's a nice name.

Like a compound name.

Like Jean-Pierre,

but it's Claude instead of Pierre.

You'd be more useful sitting there

with the others.

What d'you mean?

We can't mess up now.

Can I say goodbye?

I know.

How's it going?

Careful, we have a nasty crosswind

at 310, 8 knots.

Cabin crew, arm the slides.

Ladies and gentlemen,

I'm the real captain on board.

We're taking off

for an eventless flight.

We're about to go.

We start moving, I open the door,

you toss a flare,

throw out the body and we take off.

- Yes, boss.

- I like that.

They're clearing the runway. Ready?

Don't worry, it's like teargas.

Let's go. Ready?

What a jerk! I don't believe it.

Wait until the door opens.

I freaked out.

Quit laughing, I can't concentrate.

I love it when you're angry.

What's going on?

They're coming! Plan B!

- We have a Plan B?

- The second flare.

Let me. Gimme that.

She hit the tank truck.

Bull's eye!

We handle the body,

you take the door.

F***!

What'd you do?

Why close it so quick?

I'm a policeman,

not a body-thrower for Boeing!

They're catching up!

They're catching up!

- Turn down the music.

- I can't.

Do something!

No way. The hand's full of fingers.

Move back!

Would you quit laughing!

Let me laugh! You're so castrating!

Me, castrating? Not at all.

Here they come!

That must hurt.

What?

Their leader is stuck in the engine.

There's trouble with the left engine.

It'll pass. Gun the engines!

You bet!

What's that?

The leader just came out of the engine.

We'll hit their trucks. Go!

Anything wrong?

I'm all right.

It's goat's milk.

I've got a cure:
Crapette.

In 5 hands.

Feel better?

I got used to the idea of dying.

Why not make love to my husband

and I watch?

"Studies on Hysteria."

You read it?

No, not that one.

What have you read by Freud?

The study on the behavior

of disturbed children.

That was a good one.

Hear that?

Now what?

Yes, that's odd.

I'll go see.

It's the midget. He's crying.

What'd you do to him?

Nothing! He was already crying.

What's wrong?

How should I know?

Why didn't you ask?

What am I supposed to say?

I don't know. Ask, "What's wrong?"

"Why are you crying?"

Maybe he's in pain.

He's your pal, not mine.

It's your relationship.

He's not my pal. I don't even know him!

My pal!

Are you okay?

Can I do anything?

No, I'm all right.

Are you in pain?

No, not at all.

What is it, then?

Nothing, it's silly.

Who cares if it's silly!

At this point...

It's just that, when I fell earlier,

I lost my pet.

He ran away.

I'm afraid something's happened to him.

It's all right, we'll find him.

What kind of pet? A cat?

No, a rat.

A rat?

A rat from Honduras.

It's a little bigger.

Bigger than a rat?

That's right. His name's CompiAgne.

Like your home town?

No, why?

No reason.

Could you help me find him?

Even if there's little hope.

But don't mention it to the others.

Rats have a bad image.

Some people don't like them.

There are idiots everywhere.

Yes.

Sure, right. We'll do that.

We'll find CompiAgne.

He must be somewhere.

Thanks.

That's kind.

Really kind.

Great.

I'll look that way.

And I'll look this way.

Hang on.

I thought you had a rat phobia.

I do, but he's a midget!

He's not well, it's obvious.

Everyone pretends not to notice,

as if he were normal.

But he's 30 inches tall.

No bigger than a radiator! It's horrible.

Are you listening?

I came to thank you.

I'm a monster.

I'm a monster.

Maybe he has big radiators.

What?

Smell that?

I Wonder Where it's Coming from.

Something must be stuck in the engine.

Then it's a piece of rebel.

A piece of rebel.

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