Lucky Numbers Page #5

[ Groans ]

- [Car Horn Blaring]

- Hold on a second. You hear that?

I have been watching

your show...

[Horn Blaring]

- [Woman On TV, Indistinct]

- [Man On TV] But enough about me.

I don't know why. But I'm fine.

I just don't know...

- Make way. Give her space.

- Bobby! Oh, Bobby!

- Thank God. Yeah.

- Crystal, you all right?

- I don't know what happened.

- Come on. Give her space.

- And I just had the car checked.

- Oh, that's crazy.

- Yeah.

- Lucky you didn't hit your head.

- Well, who knows? Maybe i did.

- Maybe you should see a lawyer.

- Yeah, that's a good idea.

- I know a lawyer.

Do you? That's great, Bobby.

Thanks.

Let me know

if you want his name!

[Lottery Announcer]

Tonight's jackpot is $6.4 million!

Our machine contains 80 balls,

and we'll draw 6 balls from the machine.

Drawing tonight will be Channel 6's

lottery girl, Crystal Latroy.

Now, let's start the machine,

please.

Now, Crystal, draw the first number.

Seventy!

And the second.

Twenty-two!

And the third.

Seven!

And now the fourth.

Sixteen!

And the fifth number, please.

Nine!

- [Lottery Announcer] The sixth!

- Twenty-seven.

Twenty-seven!

[ Lottery Announcer ]

And there you have it.

Tonight's

Pennsylvania Lottery numbers: 70,

If you have it, come and get it.

- Good girl.

- If not, better luck next time.

Back to you, Dan!

[Announcer] That about wrap sit up

for this edition of Newsat Five.

Enjoythe rest of your evening.

We'll see you here tomorrow night.

You can see all the Pennsylvania

Lottery drawings right here...

on WTPA, Channe 16.

Oh! My head!

[ Groans ]

Crystal! I got you.

- I got you. Come on, come on.

- Oh! Thanks, Bobby. Good.

- No, let's... Please, this way.

- No, this way's better.

- No. This way!

- All right.

- Oh, I'm not making any sense.

- Okay. Nice and easy.

- I... i don't... Oh!

- Nice... I got you. I got you.

- You feeling better now?

- Ugh.

I don't know. Yeah.

Uh-huh. Thanks. I really do.

[ Gasps ]

Oh. Oh!

Sh*t! Sh*t! Oh.

God! Stop it!

Stay in! Come on!

Get in! Damn it.

Stay in, little mothers. Oh, sh*t.

Okay, okay, okay.

Okay.

[ Sighs ]

- Hey!

- [ Screams ] Bobby, you scared me.

Are you sure you should be driving?

Why don't you let me

give you a ride home?

No, I'm fine. I'm fine now.

Yeah. I had a Three Musketeers.

Okay, then. Get some sleep.

- All right. Thanks, sweetie.

- You don't want me to drive you?

No!

Thank you, though. You're sweet.

Good afternoon, Lawrence.

Hey, Russ.

- I've been thinking about you.

- Big news.

No, I have.

First of all, this is for you.

Token of my appreciation

for how hard you've been working.

And let me tell you something else.

People have been talking about you.

- What people?

- Let's get another thing straight.

No one is stealing you away from me,

because you are...

- What are you?

- Number one.

- That's right.

- Wow, it's quite an honor.

- I don't know what to say.

- Well, don't say anything.

As our Jewish friends say, "Enjoy."

Look, Russ, remember i told you

about my cousin's stepdad?

The one with the roadside fun park

in Colorado,

in Leadville?

Well, if you did,

my brain immediately purged it.

Well, i gave him a call,

and i told him about our situation,

and he said he'd buy our whole

inventory in one fell swoop.

Really? Well, how much?

Okay, well, here's where

we run into a small asterisk.

- Thirty thousand?

- Who is this guy, Jesse James?

I oughta get in a Santa Claus outfit

and give them away.

I just thought, you know,

if the noose starts getting tighter.

"The noose"? Who am i talking to?

Is this Larry, the winner?

Is this Larry number one?

Am i talking to the Larry

that everybody's talking about?

- Who's talking about me?

- Oh, hey.

Hey, hey, good. Good idea.

- Good morning, sweetie. Hi.

- Hi.

- So, where is it?

- What?

The ticket. I'm dying to see it.

Well, i have it. Don't worry.

I'm not worried.

May i see it, please?

Well, actually,

I might hold on to it for a while.

- What does that mean?

- Well,

first of all, how come

I'm only getting $20,000?

I mean,

I'm taking all the risk, right?

- Walter?

- And, you know...

I'm... I'm the one

who's gotta cash it in.

What if they find out

this was rigged?

- No.

- W-W-What if th-they...

It's like this is a setup

or some kind of, like, an ambush.

- I could get caught.

- That's not gonna happen.

No. Shh. Sweetie, listen.

You're being really silly.

Okay? Now, we made a deal,

and you agreed to it.

So let's just move forward

as planned, okay?

No. Why... Why can't

we split it three ways?

- The weatherman, you, and me.

- Who the f*** are you?

- I'm doing all the work.

- You're lucky to get a little bit.

Well, can we... I'm family.

Go get the f***ing ticket!

Now, give me the ticket,

you jerk-off!

Get off me! You're a whore!

- Stop it!

- Oh!

Do not f*** with me,

you sick, masturbating retard!

Go ahead and rape me.

That's what you want!

Shut up! Where's the ticket?

- I'm not telling you, slut!

- I want that ticket now!

- I'm telling your parents!

- Stop it!

Are you ready for the song

"Bingo Was His Name-O"?

- [ Children ] Yeah!

- All right.

There was a farmer had a dog

and Bingo was his name-o

B-i-n-g-o, B-i-n-g-o

- [Walter Gasping]

- Where is it?

My... My... My... My... My puffer.

- Your what? Stop it! What?

- Puffer! Puffer!

[ Wheezing, Coughing ]

My puffer! I can't breathe!

- I'll get it. God.

- Get it. Thank you. Thank you.

Is this what you want, your puffer?

Where's the ticket?

[ Wheezing ]

I'm not telling you.

Fine!

[ Gasping, Wheezing ]

- F-Fucky-you.

- [ TV Turns On ]

[ Inhaler Clicking, Expelling Mist ]

- [ TV ] These days are ours

- Walt, look. Happy Days is on.

- Happy and free

- Those happy days

- These daysare ours

- Share them with me

Good-bye gray skies, Hello blue

There's nothing can hold me

when I hold you

Feels so right,

it can't be wrong

Rockin' and rollin'

all week long

The people on the bus

go yap-yap-yap

Yap-yap-yap, Yap-yap-yap

The people on the bus

go yap-yap-yap

[Man On TV] Laverne De Fazio

and Shirley Feeney!

- Casablanca.

- [Laverne] Casablanca.

- Sh*t!

- [Man] Okay.

[Screaming, Yelling On TV]

Damn it!

Come on. Where is it?

Oh! Goddamn it!

Ugh.

[ Sighs ]

I'm gonna puke.

Oh!

Yes. Yes! Yes, yes, yes! Yes!

Hey, Walt, met your girlfriend.

Cute.

[ Voice Breaking ]

Yes, I need an ambulance right away.

My cousin had some kind

of asthma attack.

He's not moving. Okay.

I can't believe it. I-I'm in shock.

I thought he had

one of those inhaler things.

- His puffer? I couldn't find it.

- Yeah.

- You couldn't find it?

- No, we couldn't find it at first.

And then when we did find it,

it was all out of sh*t... of juice.

- Mist?

- Yeah, mist. It was out of mist.

- Mm. Know what his last words were?

- What?

- "Crystal, my sweet angel."

- Don't, don't.

"Go into my wallet

and take the ticket,

'cause you and Russ

deserve to have that money."

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