Mac & Devin Go to High School Page #3

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What condition is that?

I got an addiction.

I'm addicted

to Granny Punany.

Really?

Yeah.

What are you doing here?

Man, you was right, D-Street.

That graduation thing

is important.

Guess you finally came

to your senses.

Just hook me up

the knowledge, College.

Oh, yeah?

Start here.

Dang it.

Gimme my candy, motherf***er.

What's up, super freak?

I'm sorry, man.

I just get low

on blood sugar and...

Come on!

Relax. Relax.

F***.

I got just want you need.

You ain't gonna eat that?

We can go half and half.

A toast to expanding minds.

Yo, thanks man.

I needed that.

More than you'll ever know.

A quick lesson on weed edibles.

Snacks made with cannabis, i.e.

weed brownies, cookies,

chocolates, lollipops,

fruit rollups, breath strips,

gummy candies, cakes, pies,

and all the other hundred

type of f***ed up goodies

that get you f***ed up,

this is not for beginners.

This is extremely different

than smoking weed.

It's way more intense

and can take over your mind

and trip you the f*** out!

You don't believe me?

Ask your friends.

Right now. Ask 'em.

A) Have you ever

eaten weed edibles?

And B) Did those edibles

make you feel

like two cartoon mermaids was

using their sexy little tail

to play ping pong

with your brain?

That's what I thought.

Sh*t 'bout to get wavy, baby.

[ bells ringing ]

I think it's snowing.

Sh*t.

You're feeling it, huh?

Feeling what?

The Green Goddess.

Ganja Goodies.

Cush Cakes.

Herb Hors d'oeuvres.

Kind Kookies.

Marijuana!

Yes, Sir.

Does that mean I'm...

I'm high?

As a kite.

Here we go.

Watch where you're going.

Yo, Mac.

It's like I got this track

playin' in my head.

It's like perfectly synchronized

to my moves and everything.

My heartbeat.

You hear it?

D-Street.

Whoa.

You cool, new school?

[ robot sounds ]

I think so.

Well, hook me up with that dope

sh*t you got goin' on.

Which one?

The one in my head?

Yeah nigga.

You heard that?

Man, that sh*t dope

as a motherf***er.

But what happened

to the singing now?

Wait, what singing?

I ain't hear any singing.

I can't sing.

D, ain't nobody here but me.

You gotta let that

feeling feel good.

Matter of fact,

let that sh*t out.

Man, let me hear it, man.

Man, come on.

Every time I go out

I'm blowin' that smoke out

A buyer don't even

know the price

I talk cause I live it

Come pay me a visit

And I'll be somewhere

up in the sky

My nigga,

it's about to go down

Oh, we fly, it's no lie

that we high 'til we die

We end up in this

Roll one up,

clean the ride,

in case some hos want

to jump inside

Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Nigga, that sh*t right there,

go hard.

Ladies and gentlemen

Players and playerettes

Teachers, staff, and students

I am very honored to welcome you

to the high school

annual talent show

Brought to you by the makers of

Wiz Khalifa Premium

Rolling Papers

And the qualified growers

of Snoop Dogg Master Kush

So without further adieu

Let's get this show on the road

First contestant, bring your

talent to the foreground,

and let your smoke

be your playground

Every time I go out

I'm blowin' that smoke out

A buyer don't even

know the price

I talk as I live it

Come pay me a visit

And I'll be somewhere

up in the sky

My nigga,

it's about to go down

Oh, we fly, it's no lie

that we high 'til we die

I'll beat it up

in this hotel

Roll one up, clean the ride,

in case some hos

want to jump inside

Got a drink filled

with quality sh*t

My bottom b*tch

smokin' with me

Niggas talk sh*t

All of 'em shrimp

I'm a big fish

Roll a joint, lick it once

'til you hit this

Roofies on my dick,

Several pushers

on my hit list

In and out these

niggas b*tches,

smokin' tree

and not to mention

hustlin' tryin'

to mind my business

You probably went to class

while I was

in the hallway skippin'

Yeah, I hear

what they're sayin'

I just be too high to listen

About my money, trippin'

If I even thought it wrong

Smokin' is good

If it's fat,

tell you I sold it all

I'll wait 'til one of my hos

come 'round and roll it up

Or say f*** it and cuff it

till I go smoke with Dawg

I show up, I show up,

I show up Car,

push the start,

hit the button once, it go off

Keep the money comin' in

and the papers rolled up

And I ain't worried about

a hatin' nigga givin' no love

Every time I go out

I'm blowin' that smoke out

A buyer don't even

know the price

I talk as I live it

Come pay me a visit

And I'll be somewhere

up in the sky

My nigga,

it's about to go down

Oh, we fly, it's no lie

that we high 'til we die

I'll beat it up

in this hotel

Roll one up, clean the ride,

in case some hos want

to jump inside

I go green like I was

Archbishop Don Juan

And blow circles 'round

you suckers like a marathon

My gym teacher told me,

but I didn't listen

My b*tch did my homework

and now I'm in detention

It sure beats suspension

This is my audition,

so play your position

Get the picture I envision

Did she mention?

Snoop Dogg

was made for kissin'

A barracuda fish

and she on a mission for me

Pleasure, pain, and glory,

and my inventory

My SAT's, my little b*tch,

she did 'em for me

And now we prancin' onstage

at the talent show

We flow, see my clothes,

my chain,

and knapsack full of that,

hand me that,

can you see my telescope

Principal, say she wanna see

me 'cause she smell my smoke

About my money, trippin'

Even if I thought it wrong

Blowin' songs with Wiz

'cause this is the booty call

Every time I go out

I'm blowin' that smoke out

A buyer don't even

know the price

I talk as I live it

Come pay me a visit

And I'll be somewhere

up in the sky

My nigga,

it's about to go down

Oh, we fly, it's no lie

that we high 'til we die

I'll beat it up

in this hotel

Roll one up, clean the ride,

in case some hos

want to jump inside

Yeah.

It's the archbishop,

Don "Magic" Juan...

Man, I am hungry.

Let's get it.

So what we get drunk

So what we smoke weed

We're just having fun

Hey, Big Mac.

How you doin', sexy?

Good, mamacita.

Just showing my brother

from another mother

the way of the weed.

All right.

So what'll it be?

It'll be the usual.

Let me get uh, two Scooby Snacks

with special sauce on it.

Comin' right up.

Oh, yeah, baby.

Yo, I really needed this, man.

Sh*t. Every motherf***er

needs this.

'Cause I've been stressed

over this stupid speech, man.

The Valley Dictorian, right?

Yeah.

And everybody expects

me to talk about

the good times I had

in high school--

But you ain't had

no good times.

Exactly.

Here you go.

Thank you, baby.

Two Scooby Snacks.

So you do this all the time?

Every minute

of the motherfuckin' day.

So you don't worry

about the future?

No, D.

I vast in the moment.

Man, I wish I could do that.

You can, homey.

All you got to do,

is do what I do.

Say what I say.

You know, like so what?

So what we get drunk?

So what we smoke weed?

So what we get high?

We don't care who see.

You got to live young,

you got to live wild,

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