Mac & Devin Go to High School Page #6

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Well, that's the best part.

He's gonna take the fall.

He tried to ruin

your life, right?

It's not like he tried

to force me to do anything.

I did it--

By the way, somebody's

gonna get some if he's lucky.

We'll have the same guilt-free

fun without all the mess.

Yay!

Hey, babies.

Hola, papi.

First of all, I want to thank

y'all for rescuing my ass.

No problem.

Hey, you know I'm gonna

pay you back.

Why don't we go

back to my place

and you can

pay me back right now?

Baby, right now,

I'm currently a one-ho-bro.

Who am I supposed to do

in the meantime?

I don't know.

What about her?

[ mumbles ]

Wait a minute.

Oh sh*t!

And next up to present

their final project

are Devin and Mac.

Actually, I'm going

to be doing this one solo.

Well I- I've been trying

to develop an alternative fuel

from a mix of all

natural substances,

but the mix

was highly volatile

and we couldn't find a catalyst

to help stabilize the compound

and supercharge the fuel.

Uh, I'm sorry.

What was this magical catalyst?

Delta-nine-tetrahydrocannabino.

Isn't that the main

chemical in...

Marijuana, motherf***er.

Also known as THC.

Now what I did was

I cross-pollinated

genetically superior weed

to create a master weed

with properties

never before

enjoyed by mankind.

Now check this out.

Motherf***er.

And you do know that.

That was good.

[ cheering ]

This is only

the beginning, people.

Can we turn on a light bulb

using cannabis?

Yes we can.

Where does the future lie?

No more gas-powered cars?

Let's make them

cannabis-powered.

Can we do that?

Yes we can.

If we start now, we can build

the world's first weed-powered

rocket ship that flies

to the moon.

Yes we can.

Hemp-powered computer chips,

a hemp-island that's

free of pollution,

a hoverboard made with a bunch

of light and fluffy sativa nubs.

Can we create a greener

world using maryjane?

Yes we can.

Today, right now, Yes we can!

Yes we can!

Yes we can!

Mac.

Mac, wait.

One more test.

Well you better get ready,

'cause I'm taking you out.

You pass that test,

and we are definitely

staying in.

I can dig that.

Some of you kids' breath

smells like adult toys.

You knew it was test time.

Some of you females

is dumb in here.

And you my OG senior friend...

I know you're gonna

flunk the test.

Excuse me, Mr. Armstrong.

Mr. Skinnfloot.

It's come to my attention

that one of your students

might have gotten his hands

on a copy of your test.

No.

The student in question

is Mr. Johnson.

No, Mr. Johnson!

Ah, no, that's bullshit.

An elegant defense.

But I'm afraid you'll have

to prove your innocence

by taking a test administered

by yours truly.

Mr. Skinnfloot,

are you really qualified

to do such a thing?

My number one love in life,

after the trimming

of beautiful bonsai trees,

is the art of mathematics.

Simply solve this little

equation and you graduate.

Why?

Why?

For the past fifteen years

you have made a mockery

of the very educational system

I've sworn to protect.

And because you've

made my life hell

with your marijuana

related hijinks.

But most of all,

the reason I'm doing this

is so I can fill Miss Huck

with my man seed.

No.

Y is the answer.

Y.

Y...

is correct.

Now give me my diploma, b*tch.

Can you believe it?

Mac is finally gonna graduate

after fifteen years

of high school.

And you know what that mean.

Miss Huck can finally get it.

Devin got his speech ready

and he's still lettin' that same

punk-ass girlfriend hang around.

Well, I guess she was good

for something.

Because Yale is in the house.

Go on and do your Ivy League

thing, D-Street.

Wish more brothers could.

Sh*t, I wish more

brothers would.

Point is, we all gotta

move on at some point.

So, sit back

and enjoy the celebration.

The scholarship guy from Yale

is here with my dad.

They're excited

for your speech.

As is the tradition here

at N. Hale High,

we begin our commencement

with a speech

from our Valedictorian,

Devin Overstreet.

High school.

It's the best of times,

it's the worst of times.

It's...

I vast in the moment.

I wish I could do that.

You can, homey.

Well actually, this is something

a friend of mine taught me.

And him, more than

anybody I know,

really loved high school.

So what we get drunk

So what we smoke weed

We're just havin' fun

We don't care who sees

So what we go out

That's how

it's supposed to be

Living young and wild

and free

D-Street, you rock!

Whoo, I want your cock!

So what we get drunk

So what we smoke weed

We're just havin' fun

We don't care who sees

So what we go out

Hey, let me get a lighter.

Please.

'Cause you know I'm high

as f*** and I forgot one.

Keep that in there.

So what, I keep a rolled up

sack in my pants

Not carin' what I show,

keep it real with my niggas

Keep a player for these hos

And look clean, I done

washed it the other day,

watch how you lean on it

Give me some

five-oh-one jeans,

I'm gonna roll joints bigger

than King Kong's, bangers

and smokin' hos down

to their stingers

You a class clown

And if I skip for

that day with your b*tch

smokin' Grade A

So what we get drunk

So what we smoke weed

We're just havin' fun

We don't care who sees

So what we go out

That's how

it's supposed to be

Livin' young and wild

and free

Now it's time for

my valedictorian speech.

Y'all ready?

So many people in the world

still look down on marijuana.

What a shame.

No matter what field you in,

be it creative,

blue or white collar,

there are a lot

of genius motherfuckers

that puff herb on the regular.

So does that make

your dumber, slower?

Hell f***in' no.

It opens up your mind

to new ideas.

Some cool song lyrics maybe,

a new invention,

a simple trick to solving

a difficult math problem,

or something simple as,

hey, I bet it'd taste good

if I put some crunched up bacon

in that waffle batter.

Call marijuana a drug

all you want.

Shun it all you want.

Be closed-minded.

Think I care?

I pity ya.

We have a safe way to relax,

expand, grow our minds,

and all from a beautiful

wonderful smelling plant

that grows on this earth.

Look how it connected

Mac and Devin.

If it made two people as

different as that become homeys,

sh*t, nigga, we can do

any motherfuckin' thing.

And speakin' of Mac and Devin,

ain't no tellin' what

they gonna get into next.

And I for one,

sure can't wait to find out.

So until next time, whenever

you feel pressured in life,

and when you're goin'

through hard times

and you need

a common denominator

to mellow everything out,

don't forget these words

of advice

from your good buddy,

Slow Burn.

Break it down, roll it up,

light it up,

and smoke weed, motherf***er!

Yeah!

Fire!

Livin' young and wild

and free

Yeah

You know what

It's like I'm seventeen again,

peach fuzz on my face

Lookin' on the case tryin'

to find a hella taste

Oh my god

I'm on the chase

Chevy, is getting'

kinda heavy,

Relevant, sellin' it,

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