Made Of Honor Page #6

rare Scottish floral budwissel".

This?

"They only bloom for 4 hours

before they die".

He must have timed this out

perfectly...

Oh my gosh, when we first met,

Colin promised that he would rome

at the countryside to

find me one, and he did.

Sweetheart, that's the must romantic

thing I ever heard.

Thanks mom.

Joan, good to see you.

It's been too long.

Easter, wasn't it?

Yes. You slept with

our maid.

She told you?

I didn't know she spoke English.

Yes...

This is grandmom Pearl.

You remember Tom?

- How are you?

- Oh, yes, the fornicator.

That's right.

- Okay...

- Tom, this is awsome.

- It's great.

- Good. Thank you.

This is even better than

my sister's shower.

- Oh, really?

- Ahem...

Everything seems to

be doing well. Yes?

Sharon would like to know

where to set up.

- Who?

- The entertainment...

Ah, yes... I mean good.

She should set up over there.

Hello everybody. Hi, I'm Sharon.

Good to see you all.

Yeah, come on, right

down the front.

This was my idea, you know?

I know how much you loved her from

Stephanie's sister's shower...

Before we start, I would like for us

all to take in a deep breath...

She wasn't at

the shower...

- She wasn't?

- No.

- And now exhale slowly...

- Really?

Good job.

It's very important to

reset our third eye.

And connect to

the primal inside of ourselves,

Before I present the

pleasuries.

Pleasureries?

Now...

These pleasuries are best used when

in tantric meditative state.

And today, I'm going to show you ladies

how to reach your optimal sacrel Chakra.

All of these aids are

for sale, ladies.

And look what we have here...

Eatable panties.

You look hungry.

Try to snack on these.

There you go.

Now ladies, what pleasure

party would be complete without...

Glow-in-the-dark thunderbeets?

These are terrific.

And for you ladies, today...

Two for one.

Okay?

There you go.

Wanna try this out, princess?

Where do these go?

From casual writing to evening wear.

Gorgeous!

Why don't you keep those?

And they match your

ear rings.

Hannah, are you okay?

You know that I've dreamt

of my wedding shower,

ever since I was

No...

Strangely enough, the image

of my grandmom, pearldrape

and glow-in-the-dark thunderbeets

wasn't part of it.

It's not funny, Tom.

Do you have any idea how

important this is to me?

The Gay Gordon, pink Haggis,

Dildo-sales woman?

Just understand something,

Melissa set me up.

Oh please! There's always

an excuse with you.

I never even should have asked

you to do this in the first place.

You don't even believe in marriage

for Christ sake...

You know, I might.

I gotta get back.

Melissa's pretty good.

Look, the whole goal here was to

convince Hannah that I've grown up,

and that she doesn't know

anything about Colin...

That I'm the right

man for her.

That did not happen.

Stella. No, baby.

Don't eat buttons, okay?

Yeah, but your still

the Maid of Honor, right Tom?

I don't know. I think she

might have fired me.

How does somebody

get fired from being Maid of Honor?

Tell me about it.

- You know what? I got an idea.

- Okay.

To prove to Hannah that

you're the only man for her,

we have to make you the best

Made of Honor, ever.

Right.

- I'm out of loss. Completely stunned.

- Great.

My guy couldn't find any

dirt on Colin.

This has never happened.

This guy's clean.

Glad that happened to me.

You know, he's got

- Cool!

- We don't need to know that...

He's actually got a Medal of Honor.

That's funny, because we

got the Made of Honor!

Let's stay focused.

Look, the point is, we're not gonna

get her off this guy.

Yeah, so we need to make

this not about Colin.

Yeah, we need to

make it about you.

- Good...

- You gotta show her

That you're growing up...

- Finally...

I am changing.

I am growing up.

- Good!. Then this should be easy for you.

- Great...

These are bridal magazines from

each with a feature article on

the duties of being the Maid of Honor.

Perfect! "ber Bride"...

I got these guys in Bangdelur that we're

outsource to, they translated them over night.

- Great.

- Nice "aperitizers" there, Gary...

- Here's the "Main course"

- What have you got for me?

My wife Deb is a A-type personality,

she ahs to do everything perfect.

- Sure...

- Love her...

- Hate that about her.

- Right.

Anyway, she rented this when

she was gonna be the Maid Of Honor

for her yoga teacher.

This is "the goods".

You're gonna be wow-ed.

Hi, I'm Elisabeth Hasselbeck

and I'm just so thrilled

you've purchased this program.

And I'm proud of you...

Because it shows that

you're not happy being just

an ordinary friend and loved one.

No. You and I are gonna work together

to make you the perfect Maid of Honor.

When we're through, you'll know

everything there is to know about dresses,

Crockery, nuptial eticette

and pleasing your bride.

What's the length...

of the bridesmaid dress?

No longer than the brides.

What if you know someone

won't be able to attend the wedding?

You got to send an

invitation anyway.

Recieving line?

Recieving line?

If there's a recieving line, it means I've failed,

because Hannah's married.

Right. It was a trick question.

Who was the runner up MVP in 1974?

No, these questions all have

to do with Tom

being the best Maid Of Honor

he can be.

Alright.

I thought we were just

asking like... Questions.

Go sit down.

Basic duties of the

Maid of Honor?

Manage the bridesmaids,

carry the ring, and support the bride.

Basic duties as You as

the Maid of Honor?

Show Hannah that I've matured,

that I can take care of my reponsibilties fully...

and that I need to destroy

the wedding from within.

- What happens if you fail at that task?

- Colin gets her.

- What are we gonna do?

- Steal the bride!

- What are we gonna do?

- Steal the bride!

- What are we gonna do?

- Steal the bride!

Steal the bride!

And remember...

Weather it is helping with the seating chart

or giving your opinion on the cake,

the perfect Maid Of Honor is

with her bride every step of the way.

You didn't have to clear your

whole day to do all this.

Are you kidding?

Off course I did.

The perfect Maid of Honor is

with his bride every step of the way.

A changed man...

I am indeed.

I don't even know where to begin.

When choosing a china

pattern,

you need to think about what type

of entertaining you're open to, foods you wanna cook...

Look. Now don't be afraid

to mix and mash.

It's important, even with

different styles and textures.

What you wanna do, is stur

up the tabel.

Make it come alive with color

and tenasity. That's the goal.

Also, at the end of the day...

You will find...

...Connections.

Thank you very much.

Let's go.

If you think I'm good with plates,

wait till you see what I do with linnens.

- Lingerie, perfect.

- What about the linnens?

You'll be able to pick out

something for the wedding night.

- No!

- Are you crazy? You're the perfect person for this job.

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