Magic Mike Page #6

Oh, no. Oh, no.

Look, don't, uh, they just say stupid sh*t

sometimes. Don't let them bother you.

Oh, no, it didn't bother me.

l'm just trying to wrap my mind

around Adam and this whole mess.

l get it. l don't know how

l fit into this whole mix, either.

No. You-- When you're on-stage,

it all makes sense.

l mean, the way you dance

and the way the women respond to you....

Wait a minute. So that means

someone might have stuck around.

That's good to know.

Yeah.

That feeling.... That must be a really

crazy feeling to be on-stage...

...like that. l see why you've been doing it

for so long. l get it.

-But Adam's different. He's....

-Why is that?

Well, he had a football scholarship.

A year ago, he basically ruined it

by getting...

...in a fistfight with his coach

in the first hour of the first day.

-Yeah. l think he said something about that.

-Yeah.

So l just don't--

l'm just trying to figure out...

...why he's stripping.

-"Why" is easy.

-What do you mean, it's easy?

-You want some stripper wisdom?

-Okay.

-You ready?

-Yeah.

He's 1 9 years old.

lt's women, money and a good time.

l guess. l guess.

l got him.

Okay?

Okay.

-You gonna come to the show tonight?

-No.

-You're gonna come.

-No.

-You just said you liked the show.

-Doesn't mean l'm gonna go again.

-But you said--

-l'm not, heh, going. l've seen it.

MlKE:
Does that mean you were lying?

BROOKE:
l'm not lying.

[AUDlENCE CHEERlNG]

[DRUMS PLAYlNG OVER SPEAKERS]

[SlNGlNG]

l do know and l've been told

ALL:

l do know and l've been told

Big Dick Richie got a cock of gold

ALL:

Big Dick Richie got a cock of gold

Now, let's give it up for the Virgin Kid

ALL:

Let's give it up for the Virgin Kid

Anything you want, he won't forbid

ALL:

Anything you want, he won't forbid

Now, Mikey got a pipe you gonna love

ALL:

Mikey's got a cock you know you gonna love

What he got down low fits like a glove

ALL:

What he got down low fits like a glove

Soldiers, sound off

ALL:

One, two

-Sound off

ALL:
Three, four

ALL:

One, two, three, four, one, two...three, four

[HlGH-TEMPO MUSlC PLAYlNG]

ALL:

Ho, ho, ho, ho.

[GUNFlRE ON SPEAKERS]

[DRUMBEATS ON SPEAKERS]

[ADAM CLEARS THROAT]

[MlKE CHUCKLES]

MlKE:

Oh, don't do that. Don't do that.

l didn't-- He did that himself.

l'm bringing him home.

BROOKE:

Hey, brother bear.

[MlKE GRUNTS]

BROOKE:
Thank you.

MlKE:
He's just stoned out of his mind.

Heh, yeah, um, um....

MlKE:

Hi.

MlKE:
What's up, dude?

Yeah, we, we-- My bad. We, uh....

BROOKE:
Yeah.

MlKE:
All right. l'll see you later.

What's up, dude?

[WHlSPERlNG]

ls that Paul?

BROKE [WHlSPERlNG]: Yeah. lt's-- Yeah.

MlKE:
lt is?

[lNAUDlBLE]

MlKE:
lt's going good?

BROOKE:
Yeah, it's good. Just, heh, go on.

Hey, l-- uh, thanks.

Thanks for bringing him back.

l told you l was going to take care of him,

didn't l?

BROOKE:
Watch yourself.

MlKE:
All right, heh.

[SlGHS]

So, uh, l don't know,

how's school or whatever?

Um.... lt's good. lt's good.

[JOANNA CLEARS THROAT]

l'm sorry,

what the f*** do you study again?

Social studies, or sociology or....

JOANNA:

Heh, did you say "social studies"?

MlKE:

Social science, heh?

What, am l in middle school

or something, heh?

JOANNA:

No. No.

MlKE:
No?

JOANNA:
Psychology.

So how much longer you got

in, uh, psychology?

Uh, l have, uh, six weeks until l'm....

MlKE:
For real? Six weeks?

-Yeah.

And then l'm a certified shrink.

Six weeks. That's right.

MlKE:
Wow.

-l know. People have to pay me now, heh.

-That's huge.

JOANNA:
lt is, yeah.

l'm not paying you.

Not for these little visits, at least.

l'd feel bad taking money from you.

Heh, l'm too f***ed up anyway, so....

Oh, you're not so bad.

[JOANNA CLEARS THROAT]

So are you going to open up--?

You ask a lot of questions, don't you?

Little Chatty Cathy tonight, huh?

-Chatty Cathy.

-Chatty Cathy.

And questions are off-limits, l guess?

-They're always off-limits.

-Really?

You don't need to talk. Just look pretty.

What was your name?

l can't remember. What was it?

[CHUCKLES]

Look, l'm going to go, okay?

Um, but l'll give you a call?

MlKE:
Mm-hm.

-Mm-hm.

MlKE:
Mm-hm.

-Okay.

-Mm-hm.

MlKE:
Mm-hm, muah.

Get out of here.

[JOANNA CLEARS THROAT]

[GRUNTS]

[RlNGSlDE'S "MONEY"

PLAYlNG OVER SPEAKERS]

TlTO:

That's what l'm saying. l'm....

l'm looking at longevity. This is fun

for now, l'm not gonna be...

...this young and beautiful forever.

Strip malls, l think l got a good idea.

You know, and l watch all these people,

Carleton Sheets and these guys on TV.

And l read this book called

Rich Dad, Poor Dad.

GlRL:
That's a great book.

TlTO:
You read that?

GlRL:
l went to the convention.

TlTO:
Yeah, uh, Robert Kiyosaki.

GlRL:
Kiyosaki.

TlTO:
Yeah, that's the guy.

GlRL:

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

DALLAS:

Heeey-ah!

All right, all right, all right, hey, ah.

DALLAS:

lf everybody can quiet down a second here.

Quiet down a sec?

RlCHlE:

Hey, everybody. Shut the f*** up.

DALLAS:

Richie, that's f***ing microsuede, man.

RlCHlE:
Aw, sh*t. Sorry, bro.

DALLAS:
lt's all right. Thanks.

All right, now l got an announcement

to make.

DALLAS:
Now, that means you too, Tarzan.

Come on, big boy...

...out of the shadows, into the light.

Come on, baby.

l've been telling y'all this is going to be

a special night for a long time.

Now l'm going to tell you why.

Despite the hurricane

that has soiled our rather bountiful...

...Saturday afternoon...

...the good Lord has blessed

the Kings of Tampa this summer.

Can l get an "amen" on that?

ALL:
Yes.

RlCHlE:
Amen.

DALLAS:

Mm.

We've been talking a lot about the markets.

Waiting for the sweet spot.

Waiting for our time to make our move,

take our show global.

Well, as of September 1 st...

...we will no longer be

the Cock-rocking Kings of Tampa.

No, sir, no, ma'am.

We will be the Cock-rocking Kings...

...of 4000 square feet...

...of Miami prime-time beachfront

real estate, motherfuckers.

[ALL CHEERlNG]

Ah, Big Dick, keep it f***ing hanging low.

-Tito, call them Cubano cousins, huh?

TlTO:
They on their way, baby.

Kid, you ready for the big time, huh?

You ready for the big time?

Tobias, you ready to take yourself

to the beach?

l'm ready, man. l'm ready, huh.

Ken, the housewives

are gonna love you down there.

KEN:
We are blessed.

-They're gonna love you.

Huh, Tarzan. Did you know they made trees

tall enough to swing from Tampa...

...to motherfucking Miami, huh? Unh!

Yeah. My main man.

The moon is just a chip shot away,

brother, heh.

A chip shot away. F***, yeah.

l got to let it sink in, man.

We're really doing this?

Oh, f***, yeah, we're doing this, man.

This is our time.

All right. All right.

Listen, man. l couldn't even have dreamed

all this sh*t up without you.

We're gonna do it together,

we're gonna do it just like we always said.

-Seven-point-five across the board--

-You meant to say 1 0, didn't you?

Congrats, Kid.

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