Magic Mike XXL Page #4

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All right. Fine.

Guess I know

what today's gonna be like.

All right,

get your moon rocks!

All right. So what's the plan

about this thing?

Okay.

So we got it all planned out.

Tobias is gonna warm up

the crowd,

then we're gonna hit them

with the old 4th of July

army routine. Oorah.

That still makes me

feel like a warmonger

with everything going on

politically right now.

Oh, come on

with the hippie sh*t.

It's in season.

We're doing it.

Hey, if you want that Karma,

go for it, all right?

We're gonna hit them with

"Raining Men" right after.

Right.

Then Tobias is gonna intro

the solos.

Listen.

I think you should bring back

"Pony," bro.

I could do that.

And I'm...

Look, "Pony" is great.

I have, uh...

Can I pitch you something?

Let me just

throw something out.

And I completely understand that

I'm coming in at the 11th hour,

and I don't want to step

on toes.

But what if...

I mean, if this really is

our last ride,

what if we make up some new sh*t

and go out with a f***ing bang

and just burn this sh*t down

with some new routines?

We... we can't do that, man.

We got two days.

I mean, Mike, that's what

we've rehearsed, man.

Yeah, and don't call our sh*t lame, bro.

You're right. You know what?

I'm not calling

your sh*t lame.

I'm just saying that cowboys

and firemen dancing to '80s rock

is not... not lame.

No. You know what is lame?

Looking like a bag of d*cks

at our last convention

'cause we don't have

our f***ing act straight.

Okay.

Point taken.

Let me ask you a question,

though.

Um... okay.

You're still doing, uh,

the fireman routine, right?

You know it.

All right.

Have you ever wanted to be

a fireman?

A real one?

Yes, a real fireman.

No.

I got the phobia thing.

You have a fire phobia.

Okay.

So, uh, you still doing it

to that... that kiss song?

F***, yeah.

"Hotter than Hell."

"Hotter than Hell."

Do you like that song?

Crushes.

I know it crushes,

but do you like it?

Do you play it

when you're not onstage?

I don't see your point

here.

My point is, if you don't

like it, why did you pick it?

Well, I didn't pick it.

Dallas did.

Exactly my point.

Dallas picked it.

You didn't pick it, so it's not

on the inside. You know what?

Just because you made up some of

your own routines back in the day

doesn't mean that you get to

waltz back in here

after three years and try to

tell us how to run our own sh*t.

I'm not trying to tell you

what the f*** to do. No!

I'm just say...

There is no f***ing universe

in which I am not doing

that fireman routine!

You can find it, man.

You got to just, like,

let go, okay?

I f***ing got it!

What? What?

Yo, it's like

a f***ing real wedding,

- except like a fantasy.

- Oh, my God, dude!

And, like, I go out in the crowd...

Yes!

...and find myself, like,

a real f***ing bride.

Oh, f***! And I do

everything with her!

Like, I'll have a ring

and everything,

and I'll propose to her, and people

throw rice. They are throwing rice!

Rice out of our f***ing pants! Yes.

Dude, they're f***ing...

They're all... everyone's throwing rice.

It's just so complex.

Or birdseed. What are you

f***ing talking about, man?!

Yo, man, I'm not

a f***ing dancer like you.

I just can't come up with sh*t

on the spot.

No, it's not... it's not about

being a dancer, Richie.

It's not.

Okay, look.

"Pony"... it's not... that

wasn't a dance routine, okay?

All it was is I was at a party

and saw this badass girl.

And she was with

her boyfriend,

and he did not look like

he was hitting that sh*t right.

So that... that song came on,

and all I did was just...

All I did was just, like,

imagine what I would do to her.

That was it.

That was all "Pony" ever was.

No, man.

It sounds f***ing complex.

Why is that... no, it's not.

Look at... look at you!

You're a f***ing Greek God.

You could f***ing tie

your shoe

and make some girl's

entire year, man.

It's just got to come from

in here.

Seriously? You just have to be you.

Yeah. I know so.

You know what?

F*** that.

I bet you you can go in there

right now...

I bet you you can go in there

and f***ing make her day.

Who, her? Tarzan: Hell, yeah.

Hell, yeah.

That girl looks like

she's never f***ing smiled

in her entire f***ing life.

Then that's your goal.

That is your goal. All the

more reason, man. What?

You got to go in there

and make her smile. No!

That's it.

That's all you've got to do.

Yes.

And if you... look.

If you can't do that,

then no one f***ing can,

and I'll go back and do

the f***ing old routines.

Oh, f***! That's a fair deal.

That's a fair deal.

You're not a f***ing...

You're not a fireman, Richie!

You're not a fireman.

I want to hear you say it.

"I'm not a fireman."

"I am not a fireman."

I want to hear you say...

Well, I'm not a f***ing fireman.

You hate fire!

I'm a f***ing male entertainer.

Exactly!

You're a male entertainer.

Right, man.

You can f***ing do it.

Now go do it!

B.D.R.!

B.D.R.!

Come on!

B.D.R.! B.D.R.!

Make her day, dude.

Let's go.

Show that big beautiful heart.

Yeah

You are my fire

The one desire

Believe when I say

I want it that way

When we are two worlds

Apart

Can't reach to your heart

When you say

That I want it that way

Tell me why

Ain't nothing

but a heartache

Tell me why

Ain't nothing

but a mistake

Tell me why

I never want to

hear you say

I want it that way

Am I your fire?

Your one desire?

Yes, I know

It's too late

But I want it that way

Tell me why

Ain't nothing

but a heartache

Tell me why

Ain't nothing

but a mistake

Tell me why

I never want to

hear you say

How much for the cheetos

and water?

Don't want to hear you say

Ain't nothing but a

heartache

Ain't nothing but a mistake

Don't want to hear you say

Yeah! Whoo!

That was spiritual,

man.

Yes!

I'm proud of you, buddy.

We can do this.

We can do this!

We can do this.

We've got to come up with

new sh*t, okay?

F***ing history right here,

okay?

This sh*t is history.

Gone.

We've got to get rid of it.

Out with the past.

I never wanted to be

in the Navy!

I don't want this "Top Gun" sh*t.

F*** the Navy, man.

Yeah!

Gone!

Oh, baby!

It's time.

That sh*t itched.

It's time.

Boom.

Boom!

That's outta here, baby!

F*** that thing!

Richie?

Done! Fireman over!

Not anymore.

I'm not a fireman anymore!

Get it outta here.

Don't, man. Don't.

I'll... I'll throw it away

when we get back.

No, no, no.

Now!

It's over.

History!

New stuff.

I love you guys.

I... look.

I've missed you guys

so much.

I know we're rolling face

right now,

but, like, I just need you guys

to know how much I love you.

I missed you so much, man.

There was a giant hole

inside of me

that was created

when you left.

I'm here now. And now I

feel like it's full again.

- I love you, man.

- Let's sync this sh*t up.

We gotta sync this up.

We're syncing up the energy.

I f***ing love you, man!

Give me your hands, man.

Whoo!

I take it y'all motherfuckers

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