Major Deal Page #6

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- What's your favorite?

- Chocolate and vanilla.

- Chocolate and vanilla.

I'm a little

strawberry guy myself

So let's go get some.

Got to put you down first.

You getting heavy.

- I'm 41 pounds!

- 41 pounds is a lot of pounds.

Well you know I'm 185.

But don't tell nobody I'm

eating ice cream okay?

Oh boom.

We gon' get some

good ice cream okay?

F***.

Wow just couldn't wait?

Damn.

- Are you mike massacre?

- Yeah who are you?

- Oh my god you

wrote Henny dick.

I love that song.

I'm like your number one fan.

- Well how'd you get my address?

- Oh you know how us fans are.

- So what you doing here?

Just to give you a

birthday gift big zzzaddy.

- Ooh hold on right there.

- Mm hmm.

- Oh what are these nudes?

Aw girl you could have

snapped these to me.

- Oh no they're not nudes.

- So what are they?

- A subpoena.

- A subpoena?

- For a child support hearing.

You just got served.

- Man f*** you!

- Top of the morning to you.

Wilson.

Oh.

Okay, oh you're a hugger.

Bring it in.

- Aye aye man get off me man.

Where Tina?

- Tina cakes Micah's here.

- Aye call me mike man.

- Oh well good we're

on nickname basis.

I picked up this

co-parenting book for us.

It's called...

- F*** that book!

- About two fathers.

- What you doing here?

It ain't your day.

- Man I got the subpoena.

You do this sh*t on

my birthday for real?

- Yeah.

- 'scuse me.

- 'cause you need to know

ain't nobody playing with you.

- Do you want me to leave cakes?

- Yes.

- - no!

- Well I'll just be right here.

- We agreed that if

you didn't sign a deal

Then I was gonna go

through the state.

- Man the day ain't over with.

- Are you kidding me?

I could give you a hundred years

And you still wouldn't

sign a deal mike

'cause you can't rap.

- Man you don't believe in me.

That's the problem here.

- I got this please.

I don't need to believe in you.

I need to raise our daughter.

That's what we do together.

Your sorry raggedy ass dreams

Ain't gon' feed our child mike.

Neither are those

little bitty hopes.

Time will, money will.

- But I spend time.

- And I spend money.

- Man where my daughter at man?

- I need to talk to

you before you see her.

- Man get out my face man.

- We're moving to Seattle.

- You what?!

- Actually it's

bellevue, a small suburb.

It's a 6000 square foot condo.

Got an extra bedroom for you.

- Can you get out my face?

- I understand where you

are and I'm here, okay?

- See Tina I tried

to deal with you

'cause you my baby

mama and I love you

'cause you the

mother of my child

But you know you trip on me

about being late with money

But you late when it's time

for me to see my daughter

But I deal with that

But if you think I'm

gon' let you take

My daughter away from me

you out yo f***in' mind!

- Listen mike I

understand your feelings.

That's why in the summer

We're gon' give you

like, what like?

What we say?

Two days?

- For two days?

Man I'm trying to be

in my daughter's life.

This lame ass nigga daddy

'cause he got money.

'cause you think money

f***in' rules the world.

- But see you're the dad

And I would be papa sheeshaw.

- My nigga get out my face!

- Mike listen, once you

calm down you'll see,

- F*** you! This the

best thing for you!

- F*** me?

Nah f*** you!

- Man b*tch f*** you!

- Oh I'm a b*tch now?

- Do what you gon' do.

- all right all right.

- Im'a show you a b*tch,

im'a show you a b*tch.

- Get off me.

- - you need to leave.

- Calm down you guys.

- Man im'a go see my daughter.

- You need to leave.

- I ain't leaving sh*t.

- Really?

- That was the angry encounter.

It said that in the book.

It's a wall we're

pushing through.

- Mm hmm.

- Brick by brick

And it's happening.

- Shut the f*** up.

- Why were you

and mommy yelling?

- Well baby girl sometimes

when two people can't get along

They can't hear each other so

sometimes they got to yell.

It's nothing.

- So are we moving because

you and mommy don't get along?

- Man this has

nothing to do with you

But don't you worry im'a

make sure we always together.

- Daddy I don't want to move.

Please don't make me move.

- Nah baby girl don't

worry about nothin'.

- You know I don't

f*** with rappers.

- Man candy I ain't

even in the mood

For no consolation

p*ssy right now boo.

- First of all you weren't about

To get no regular p*ssy okay?

- Man can you just

hurry up and tell him

So he can stop trying to

f*** you in my presence?

- Okay so I don't

f*** with rappers

Because rappers can

talk about real sh*t

In they music but they

just make sh*t music.

- I listen to every

song you've ever made

But you never talk

about anything real.

- Man candy we already know

you don't like my music.

- see but it's not

just because you can't rap.

The other half is the

fact that you only do sh*t

That you think

people want to here.

You don't make real music.

- Yeah but I put my

heart in my music.

You know I go hard in that sh*t.

- Okay that's cute and all

But so take Kendrick

Lamar for example.

Like I really f*** with

me because after I heard

Good kid mad city I learned

something about him.

Like I learned that

he grew up in Compton

Around a lot of gang violence

But he wasn't

involved in the gangs.

You know he talked

about peer pressure

And losing people that he loved

And that's real music.

That's the nigga

that I'll let hit.

- What?

- Yeah I would.

I'll let that nigga hit it raw.

- Whoa whoa whoa whoa

candy ain't nobody

Trying to here all

that sh*t damn.

- Look you need to

delete all of your music.

- You crazy now.

You trippin'.

- Delete everything.

This could be the start of

a brand new career for you

If you ever get that far.

- now wait a minute what um?

- log in.

- Nigga don't look at me.

Sh*t I still can't believe

That she'll let

Kendrick Lamar f*** raw.

- Ooh yeah I would.

- he famous.

- He probably get so much sex.

Aye man you know how much

sex famous rappers get?

- and he'd get a lot from me.

- Sh*t.

- Okay now.

- just gon' take it like that?

- Yup and stop calling

yourself mike massacre.

Your name is Micah

Jehosaphat Jones

And both your parents

are in ministry.

No one believes

that you're runnin'

Around here killing people.

- Yeah but Micah is

a weak rap name man.

- Shut up boogie!

- Okay young Micah come and

do it like the pied piper.

It got a little ring

and pizzazz to it okay

But hold on how come

you listen to candy

When she talk about

writing some real sh*t

But I told you that

like a thousand times.

I just told you that

like 30 minutes ago bro.

- Well you know.

- I mean it's simple boogie.

- What?

- I'm trying to f*** her.

You know and I ain't

trying to f*** you.

- Okay.

- You know what I'm sayin'?

So I could listen to her.

- We get it, we get it.

- I want to f*** her good.

- We can just stop talking

about f***in' please?

- You mad?

- To one of yo beats.

- Or nah?

- Go head write.

- Your sorry raggedy ass dreams

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