Man of the House Page #4

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Like Courtney, we feel we should not

be penalised for maximising our assets.

However, we've all agreed to cover up...

these areas here...

and this area right here.

Good.

But what about these other problem areas?

Here...

here...

and here.

You're killing me.

Come here.

All right. We'll cave on the first two.

But we absolutely must maintain

navel visibility.

We want to be realistic, not Amish.

- One inch on either side.

- Three.

- Two.

- Done.

These girls are a different kettle of worms.

Something just came up. I'll get back to you.

I need to speak to your witnesses.

Eddie, how's the arm?

Let's not change the subject.

There are no witnesses.

Even if there was, I couldn't let you

talk to them. You know that.

Come on, Captain,

we're on the same team here.

I think I can help.

At least let me talk to Sharp.

That was him on the phone, right?

Sharp's in the field right now.

Right.

Your Ranger screwed up my whole case.

He blew up that lab

and all the evidence in it.

Ball is dead

and I got shot in the arm, for Christ's sake.

I need to speak to those witnesses.

So I'm asking you again. Where are they?

This "One Riot, One Ranger" sh*t won't fly

when I slap a subpoena on your desk.

My desk's already a mess.

One more piece of paper

won't make me no never mind.

Circle the wagons if you want.

This is a federal case.

- You learn quick.

- Five years of college.

$13.75, right? Here's $14. Keep the change.

How's my favourite pep-squad leader?

What?

I said, how's my favourite

pep-squad leader?

Not real peppy.

Would somebody turn that music down?

Hang on, Cap.

Is there any more pizza left?

Somebody, please turn that music off!

Throw this away.

I cannot hear myself think.

Okay, as we involuntarily enter

into this enforced period of silence...

can I ask if there's any medication

you forgot to take...

or some I might recommend you should try?

Yes. Like take a chill pill.

I only need one witness.

Get out.

What's up, Cap?

It's a subpoena from your buddy Zane.

The feds want our witnesses.

We're now officially in contempt.

Don't worry. If Cortland don't send

somebody to kill them soon, I'll do it myself.

One other thing.

I got this invoice here for an air conditioner.

$7,572.44.

Can you explain that to me?

I'll have to get back to you on that one.

Where do you think you're going?

To the Cactus Cafe.

Asleep at the Wheel's playing.

Too many people. You know the rules.

Nobody goes out after dark.

We're young, we're strong,

and we're tired of being cooped up.

I haven't had phone sex with my boyfriend

in almost a week.

I have oats to plow.

You got oats to sow,

and it ain't gonna happen.

Like hell it's not. What's to stop me

from walking out that door? The Tontos?

I eat men like that for breakfast.

And what, you?

I'd like to see you try it, Mr. Ranger-man.

Come on.

Anybody else wanna go see

Asleep at the Wheel?

You think he needs backup?

No.

I think he can handle it.

Let me guess, Clay.

You're looking for Jimmy.

Totally. Dude, are you like a psychic

or some kind of sh*t?

Some kind of sh*t.

The thing is...

Jimmy moved.

- Where to?

- Travis County Jailhouse.

That ain't good.

Okay, a hairdo this phenomenal

only happens twice a year.

Please. It really needs to be shared

with the world.

- What if we have to go to the bathroom?

- Go ahead.

You're evil, you know that?

Face it, girl. You're with me tonight.

We didn't ask for this.

We just went into the bathroom

and saw a guy die.

We could've kept quiet, but we didn't.

I feel like we're getting punished for it.

- Sorry, but you're not being punished.

- Then let us out of here.

Even prisoners on death row

get a little yard time.

- How about the mall?

- Shopping with y'all? I don't think so.

- What about a movie?

- Not in the mood.

As captain of the cheerleading squad,

I demand that you take us someplace...

where you can protect us

and we can have some fun.

Look who's skating!

Last time I was here, it was Emma's

sixth birthday. She loved this place.

You don't speak to her much, do you?

I don't think Emma wants to talk to me.

Every girl wants to talk to her dad.

She may act like she doesn't, but she does.

Everything I say around her is wrong.

I've been wrong since she turned 11.

Maybe you're just not asking her

the right questions.

First of all, never ask, "So how's school?"

Nope. Dumb question. It's too easy.

Our brains just shut off.

And don't become her best friend.

We have enough friends, thank you.

What do you wish you could say to her?

That I wish I could see her more...

and I'm sorry it didn't work out

between her mother and me...

and it wasn't her fault, and stuff like that.

If my daddy told me them things,

I'd be the happiest girl alive.

I haven't seen my dad

since he left me nine years ago.

I'm sorry that happened to you.

You have a daughter and you love her.

You should tell her.

Yeah, maybe you should take her

skating again, because you know what?

You're getting pretty good.

I am getting the hang of it.

All right, we're going to let you go.

Show us your funky groove. Come on, boy!

All right! Yes, sir!

- Are you okay?

- That was bad.

Morning, Emma.

Mr. Zane?

Look at you, you're all grown up.

Yeah. Wow, it's been a long time.

Sure has.

What are you doing here?

I'm looking for your father.

It's a professional matter.

You got any idea where I might find him?

No. He doesn't really tell me anything.

What happened to your arm?

It's just one of the hazards of the job.

You wouldn't happen

to have a number on him, would you?

Is he in trouble?

No. It's just that I'm working on a case

and I need his help.

If I need to get ahold of him...

I usually call dispatch and

they patch me through on a restricted line.

- I'll give that a try then.

- Okay.

- Good to see you again.

- Bye.

Sharp, look here.

Remember that John Doe

they pulled out of a rest stop last week?

Rifle from his trunk matches the bullet

they dug out of Swanson.

Is this the fella y'all see shoot Morgan Ball?

No. The guy who shot Ball

seemed a lot nicer.

And a lot less dead.

- It was like Ball knew him or something.

- Knew him?

Yeah. If you're through playing detective,

can you get us home so we can rest?

Nope.

- Please?

- Come on.

Load up.

Yeah, I like that.

That's where we're gonna kill them.

Remind me to take a collection

right after that.

That's gonna be a good time

to get the money.

Well, if it ain't Martin Luther Vandross.

Why don't you all take a break.

Everybody go ahead, real quick.

This man's probably got

a lot of sins he needs to confess.

Probably may have to exorcise him.

Y'all go about your business.

Can't you see

I'm doing the Lord's business?

You know this guy?

I mean, that is...

He got roughed up.

That is pretty bad right there.

- Is he dead?

- He way dead.

Yeah, I mean, looks like a guy

that was in the can with me.

Think his name's Jack Carter.

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