Man of the House Page #5

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He work for Cortland?

No. He was more of a freelance artist...

if you know what I'm saying.

Looks like Cortland hired a second shooter.

Pull up Jack Carter, see what we got on him.

So, you girls are cheerleaders, huh?

Y'all recognise me? It's me, Percy.

Yeah. Percy "Pirouette"...

Stevens.

Class of '89. I was bad. I was a bad man.

Y'all think that's funny? I'm good. Okay.

All right, you think that's funny?

You wait one second.

"Ungawa, Texas got the power

"I said, yes"

Yeah, that was real fresh, Bobby Brown.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah, let me tell you something.

Now, I may have missed the '90s...

due to a previous engagement...

but back in my day, we brought it.

Oh, yeah. I'm talking real old school.

Not like that little tired crap you trot out to.

A-G-G-l-E.

What's that spell?

What's that smell?

Ladies.

- All set?

- You bet.

"More power, more power

more power to the hour

"More bounce, more bounce

more bounce to the ounce"

Boring.

"Hot, now show us what you got"

Now that's old school.

Hello?

- Hi, Emma, it's...

- Psych!

You got my machine. You know what to do.

Hey, Emma, it's your father.

Dad.

I was just calling to see how you're doing.

It's kind of hard to reach me right now.

I'm working on a case.

You know, like I'm always doing.

Just working on a case.

Anyway, I'd like to talk to you.

So call me. You know how to reach me.

If you feel like it.

There's no pressure or anything like that.

You know.

- So I guess that's it.

- Tell her you miss her.

Except, I miss you, baby.

Can I help you?

Teresa had a visit from her little friend.

What did I tell you people about visitors?

Not that kind of visitor. Her menses.

- The curse of Eve. The crimson tide.

- I get it.

So, someone has to go shopping.

Do you want me to go?

Holt, get over here.

I'm going out for some air.

Attention.

Price check on register three, please.

Can't make up your mind?

Do I need the slim fit, the regular protection

or the one with wings?

The ones with the wings. Definitely.

Cucumber-melon body spray.

Vanilla-smoothie bikini cream.

Sounds like a busy and painful night

for your wife.

I'm divorced. These are for the girls.

The cheerleaders?

You do their shopping for them?

You are a curious fella, Mr. Sharp. You gay?

No. Girls are all tied up, studying.

I volunteered to help out

and pick up a few things.

Are you sleeping with any

or possibly all of these girls?

No.

Wanna have dinner with me

tomorrow night?

Negative.

- Negative?

- It's not really possible, with work and all.

Well, okay, that plane just flew

into the side of the mountain.

Call off the search, no survivors.

Have a pleasant evening.

These yours?

- Yes.

- You left them on the counter.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I think I made a mistake back there.

Didn't want the wings after all?

No. In regard to dinner.

It's not that I don't want to.

It's hard for me to get away

with my busy schedule...

as an assistant cheerleading coach.

This whole cheerleading thing

must be a really tough racket.

You have no idea.

Anyway, I was thinking...

maybe you could come over

to the house tomorrow and I'll fix dinner.

Okay.

- 8:
00?

- Yeah, good.

By the way, I'm Molly.

I'm Roland.

You're not on the Zone or counting points

or anything like that, are you?

No.

Is that the North Star?

No. I think that's an airplane.

You see the way it's moving?

That's the North Star.

So that's where they've been keeping it.

Someday I want to do more

than look at the stars.

I'm fixing to soar with them.

What, you mean,

like an astronaut or something?

No, not exactly. Not a living one, at least.

They got this company out of Beaumont...

and they will launch your remains

right out into outer space.

Really? I love sh*t like that.

- But how?

- What they do is they park you...

Holt, what the hell are you doing?

Contemplating the vastness

of the universe, sir.

It's supposed to be red.

Does this look like red to you?

Just shoot her, Sharp.

You'd be doing her a favour.

- Where are Teresa and Anne?

- I don't know.

You're lying.

- How do you know?

- You broke eye contact.

It's a sign of stress and possible deception.

So is picking at your clothes.

Stop picking at your clothes.

Look me in the eye

and tell me where they're at.

Teresa and Antonio had a really big fight.

She had to blow off some steam,

so they went to the Buffalo Billiards.

You stay here.

Don't be contemplating the universe

with anybody.

Look, a native approaches.

Avoid eye contact.

You guys are the cheerleaders, right?

The ones with the calendar?

Nope.

Could have sworn you were June.

June kicks ass.

Sorry, wrong girl.

Well, me and my buddies over there,

we go to every game.

Have you seen us?

Yeah.

I thought I recognised you guys.

You guys were the ones getting really drunk

going, "woo, woo," right?

- You saw us.

- No.

Your school spirit sucks.

I'm captain of the cheer squad.

Our school spirit kicks ass.

Yeah, and it's getting hit on

by idiots like you that really sucks.

You're a sassy b*tch. I like that.

- Get your hands...

- Hang on now.

Everybody cool off.

We've had enough fun tonight.

Now I've had enough fun.

Was that completely necessary? You could

seriously injure a young man by doing that.

I should warn you.

I know karate.

You better know something.

Any of the rest of you boys here

wanna play the winner?

We had the situation under control.

Yeah. We were about to go all Buffy

on their gringo asses.

I brought you a pillow.

It's better than the ones you've been using.

Buckwheat hulls. It's good for neck support.

Thank you.

That was cool what you did for the girls.

It was cool.

That's one big honking bullet.

You fixing to send a monkey up

in that thing?

That thing

is a personnel suppressor deluxe.

Personnel suppressor? You mean killing?

Can't you just wound them or something?

Shoot the gun out of their hand?

No, it's impossible.

You're not really the cheerleading type,

are you?

For me, it's more penance than a passion.

Religious ascetics wear a hair shirt,

I carry the pom-poms.

I don't know.

I guess it's the duality of man, you know?

"That Jungian thing, sir."

Matthew Modine, Full Metal Jacket.

Peace sign on one side of his helmet,

"Born to Kill" on the other.

It's my favourite movie.

My favourite movie is The Sound of Music.

"What's in a name?

"That which we call a rose

By any other name would smell as sweet"

I don't understand any of this.

Pretty simple, really.

She's a Capulet, he's a Montague.

The two families have always hated each

other and they always will hate each other.

- Why couldn't Shakespeare say it like that?

- He could have.

But nobody would be talking about it

410 years later.

How do you know so much

about Romeo and Juliet?

I read the play.

- Why would you read the play?

- Molly's coming over for dinner tonight.

Who's Molly?

Professor McCarthy.

You call her Molly?

This whole house totally reeks.

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