Meatballs 4 Page #3

I think I'm gonna change

that 10 to a 12. Yeah?

Numbers can't express

the way I'm feeling right now.

So basically, that's

the story of my life.

Getting in the way, ruining

other people's good times.

Don't worry about it, Victor.

Here, have a cigarette,

it'll make you feel better.

I don't smoke, Ricky.

Well, it's a good time

to start. Go ahead.

Okay.

Ow!

You see,

you shouldn't smoke, Victor.

Well, anyway, that's my biggest

problem. I have no friends.

That's why my parents

suggested I take this trip.

Maybe to meet some new people,

maybe even a girl.

A girl here at camp?

Wait a minute.

Girl. Camp. Girl. Camp.

Oh, my God, what a concept.

A girl in camp.

(EXCLAIMING)

Victor. Oh, thank you. Thank you,

Victor. Oh, Victor. Thank you.

You're welcome.

Oh, boy, look.

It's a rock.

Actually,

it's a tombstone, Vic.

No, it's a feldspar.

It's indigenous to most mountainous

areas. See, I collect rocks.

You collect rocks.

Well, that's very

boring of you, bud.

It's Victor. I collect them

and I paint them.

Paint rocks, do you? Landscapes.

Animal faces. You name it.

Not much call for that kind

of thing, is there, Vic?

No, not at all.

This is it, huh? This is where the

infamous Thigpen legend began.

Isn't that right? Yeah.

Tell me, Victor,

you ever consider

taking your rocks and painting small

women with big breasts on them?

Boy, look, Ricky,

igneous specimens.

(BOTH GASPING)

Oh, my gosh!

What? Jeez. Oh, my gosh.

I knew it. God!

Friend of yours?

Well, he was all

into kissing me,

but I don't feel comfortable

around him anymore.

I don't know.

Something's changed.

Tell me what happened.

Stormed away as usual. Are you

kidding? I wanted to talk about it.

He didn't.

So, Kyle thinks that because

you weren't in the mood

it has something to do

with Ricky?

Uh-huh.

Well? Does it?

Good night, Jennifer.

You slut.

(BOTH GIGGLING)

What the...

What are you

doing here, Wade?

Well, this is bungalow

number two, isn't it?

Yeah, this is my bungalow.

Just one second.

Hold that thought.

Thanks a lot, Neil.

Well, guess

it's our bungalow now.

What hell

are you talking about?

Well, Neil said, "Go crash

in bungalow number two,"

and this looks like it would

be bungalow number two.

No, way. I'm the only one here

who sleeps in number two.

And I bet you're real proud

of that, too, aren't you?

Well, listen.

What do you say we just

let you blow off some steam?

Get out whatever you got to get

out. Let it out in the open.

Come on, just do it with me.

Breathe. It's okay.

It's okay. Let it go.

Come on. Let it go.

That rec director's job, that

was supposed to be mine, Wade.

I busted my ass for it

and I deserved it.

Let's not kid

each other, Wade.

I don't like you,

and you don't like me.

So, don't expect me to jump

up every time you call,

'cause it ain't

going to happen. Dig?

Finished?

Yeah, I'm finished.

Now, why don't we take your little ego

and put it in a box for awhile, okay?

And we'll get back

to it later.

Right now, let's worry about the future

of Lakeside and winning this meet.

And remember,

I'm in charge here. Not you.

Oh, and let's remember

something else.

I'm sleeping

on the bottom bunk.

Not you.

Okay, I want you

to remember something, Wade.

I'm with Kelly, now. Not you.

Oh, God. Oh, my God.

What's the problem, man?

My finger. My finger. Oh, God. It

cramps up like this all the time.

Last year I broke it

in a ski... Oh, God.

Oh, oh, you pull it. Get the

cramp out. Please. What?

I'm in so much pain. Please. Just

pull it. Just pull it. Just pull it.

(FARTING)

Thank you.

Oh, you're sick, man.

I know it. Smells good, too. No,

that's your feet. That's really gross.

(SIREN WAILING)

NEIL:
Oh, my God. Oh, my God,

there's a fire. Fire!

(ALL CLAMORING) Wake up. Wake up.

Head for the center of camp.

Quickly. Quickly.

Head for the center of camp.

There's a forest fire.

Hurry. Wake up. Hurry. Hurry.

Save yourselves. Hurry.

Help pick up the fire buckets

and soak yourselves down!

Pick up the buckets and hoses and

soak yourselves down. Hurry. Hurry.

Men, pick up the women. Pick

them up. There's a fire coming.

Now, men, lift your left legs and

twirl around like a pretty ballerina.

(ALL LAUGHING)

NEIL:
Good morning, campers.

Breakfast is now being served

in the main lodge.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

(WHOOPING)

Jesus.

All right, Victor!

All right. Good. Good.

That's what I want to see.

Go, Wes.

Yeah.

Go, Victor.

(WHOOPING)

Hey, Hillary.

Why aren't you out there

trying out for the team?

Sorry. I just want to devote

some time to my body.

Funny you should say that.

I was just thinking about

devoting some time to your body.

Ah, Howie.

Now, I'm serious about this.

We're gonna go out there tomorrow,

and we're gonna have some fun.

We're gonna kick some butt.

And, wake up. God!

Now, you see the energy he just put

out? Now, that is what we need.

(WHOOPING)

Wes. Come on, Howie.

All right, Wes.

Oh, that's good.

I like that.

This is an improvement

I see here. This is good.

We actually might have a chance

of winning this year, Kell.

BOY 1:
Talk. Talk. Music. Music.

Three words. Three words.

GIRL 1:
Talk. Talk.

Three words.

(ALL CHATTERING)

Guns N' Roses!

Guns N' Roses!

(BOY WHOOPING)

WADE:
All right. All right.

All right. Okay.

I guess you know

what that means, kiddies.

Time to take off

some more clothes.

Bullshit, Wade. Who's ever

heard of strip charades?

Well, obviously we all have

'cause we're playing it.

Now, we've had

a real hard week.

We're having some fun here.

Let's go. Get them off.

All right. That's good. I

like that. Good. Very Good.

There you go. Okay, let's see.

My turn here.

WADE:
Okay, it's a nursery

rhyme, kids. Oh, God.

Okay.

GIRL 2:
First word.

BOY 1:
One word.

(ALL CHATTERING)

BOY 2:
Come on.

Pump. Pump.

Humpty Dumpty.

You're right.

(ALL CHEERING)

All right, folks. All right. Come on.

My team take off a piece of clothes.

Okay.

(GRUNTS)

God! Not again,

this is the third time!

I'm sorry, Hillary.

Better see if she's all right.

You'd only help her if you

were never born, Thigpen.

WADE:
All right. All right. Okay,

your turn. BOY 1: Let's go.

All right. Category is

"movie." All right.

Movie.

Kick some ass, man.

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

(ALL CHATTERING)

The Mummy.

(CHOCKING)

He's choking. I got it. I got it.

The Exorcist.

Thank you. Thank you.

Boy, that was great, man.

I thought you were the greatest

charades player of all time.

I have had it with you, Wade!

Oh, great.

Just let everyone know about

our sex life. That's fine.

Okay, okay. I challenge you

to a game of chicken.

I never turn down a

challenge, you know. Good.

All right. Chicken. You guys are

talking about with cars here?

Cars? We don't need

no stinking cars.

All right. Remember.

There's one rule here.

Whoever bails out loses.

Hey, Jennifer,

you got the horn?

Good. All right. Let's jam.

This is ridiculous.

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