Meatballs 4 Page #4

Boys.

Y'all ready?

Let's do it.

Wait. Wait. Wait. Hold on a minute.

I think I lost my contact.

Since when have you

worn contacts?

Oh, yeah.

Never mind. Let's go.

One, two...

(HONKING)

(ALL EXCLAIMING)

Kyle! Are you all right? Kyle!

Yeah. Sh*t.

Hi, sailor. Need a lift?

If only he took his talent

more seriously.

Ricky. Give it a shot.

There's only one man who can do

it, Neil. And you're the man.

What. Are you telling me

you're chicken?

Come on, Ricky. Concentrate.

One.

Two.

Help! I've fallen,

and I can't get up.

You see that, Neil?

That wasn't easy to mess up like

that. It took a lot of time.

Close. Very close. All you

need is half a revolution.

Yeah, well, don't go

saying that in Cuba.

You know, there's only one man

in the world

who's ever successfully

completed the triple hinge.

That's you.

You've got all the tools, son. Always

have. You just need to motivate yourself.

You have to want it

bad enough.

If you do,

anything is possible.

Anything.

Yeah, well, I don't know about

that, but what about you?

Why don't you get out there and put

on that old wetsuit again, huh?

Who knows? Maybe someday,

something will come along that

will motivate this old ski bum.

Excuse me. Do you know

if that ski meet is today?

Yeah.

Neil, motivation.

Good motivation.

Oh, motivated.

ANNOUNCER:
Welcome,

ladies and gentlemen,

to the 15th annual

Challenge Cup Ski Meet

between Lakeside Ski Camp

and the Twin Oaks Resort.

The team events are

freestyle waterskiing,

Jet-Skiing, and the

always-thrilling ski jump.

Each team will be scored on style and

degree of difficulty by our judges,

Nelson Byers, Wendell Russell,

and Bambi "Yabbos" Yallowitz.

All right, team. Let's get psyched

up. This is ours. Let's go. Yeah.

All right. Huddle up.

Huddle up.

Come on. Lets get it together.

Let's do it, guys.

Now we're going to go out there,

and we're going to keep it simple.

We're going to do

the best job we can do,

and we're gonna

have some fun.

And we're gonna make

those scum-suckers

wish they never heard

of Lakeside.

Let's go. Kill it.

(ALL CHEERING)

Kelly. Come on, Kelly.

Way to go, Kell.

No. That's all right. That's

all right. Give it up for Ben.

Wes. Wes. Wes.

That was great.

Yeah.

Come on.

Yes, yeah.

Come on, buddy.

Let's go.

Come on, Victor. Yeah.

What the hell is he doing?

He's gonna try the ramp.

Stupid a**hole.

ANNOUNCER:
Seems our judges weren't

very impressed with Victor Thigpen.

Tough break, Victor.

You did good. You went

out there and you tried.

That's all that matters.

BOY:
You get them next time,

man. All right.

Had to be a hero, didn't you?

ANNOUNCER:
Going into our final

event, the men's ski jump,

Lakeside finds itself

with a comfortable lead.

Twin Oaks' only hope is their

Recreation Director Michael Peltz.

What a magnificent jump

for Twin Oaks.

Plenty of distance

and a near-perfect landing.

Let's see

how the judges score him.

9.4, 9.1 and 9.7.

And that effort

puts Twin Oaks back

into the lead by 13.4 points.

And now our final contestant,

Lakeside Recreation Director

Ricky Wade.

Ricky. Ricky. Ricky.

Ricky. Ricky. Ricky.

ALL:
Ricky. Ricky.

Ricky. Ricky.

Ricky. Ricky. Ricky.

Ricky. Ricky.

Come on, man, let's nail it.

Hey. Hey. Hey. Wait. Hold on!

ANNOUNCER:
Whoa. Look out!

Ricky Wade barely avoids a major

wipeout. This isn't over yet.

Let's see how the judges

score Ricky's jump.

4.1, 4.5 and 5.2.

And that means by four-tenths

of a point Lakeside wins.

How do you like that, Miss Shavetts,

huh? We'll see you next year.

Damn it.

(ALL CHEERING)

Hey, tough take-off, man.

You all right?

Am I all right?

Oh, yeah, I'm just fine.

Probably doing a lot better

than you right now,

'cause you got to go out

and look for a new job.

New job?

Yeah. Yeah. Do you understand

English? You're fired.

Fired? For what? Yeah.

For what? Well, let's think

about this.

I got it. It's probably because you tried

to dump me in that lake back there.

Oh, man,

you're so full of sh*t!

You were the one that almost

lost it out there, man. Not me.

Oh, really? Yeah.

Why don't you be man enough

to admit it, Wade?

Well, you're fired. I can be

man enough to admit that.

Neil, I mean, do something.

Oh, no, no, no. I'm sorry, son.

That's Ricky's decision.

KYLE:
Thanks. Thanks a lot.

Kyle, come back here.

You coming with me?

Why, I'm supposed

to decide...

I mean leaving these losers

and coming with me.

Kyle, I can't

leave my grandpa.

Fine. Then stay with him.

You did this on purpose. Just to hurt.

Why did you ever have to come back here?

Kelly, I...

And how could you let him?

Stuck in last night.

Really?

Did you see that?

You know something, Dick?

I'm starting to like this joint.

You know what I mean?

Relax. What have you,

never seen b*obs before?

Hey, wait a minute. Are you

calling me a sissy boy?

Is that

what you're inlluding to?

"Inlluding to"? It's

"alluding to." Okay, Nunzio?

Alluding to.

Get something right.

So, you are calling me one.

Christ. You think

you know someone,

they turn around,

they stab you in the back.

Et tu, Bruno?

Shut up!

I never called you a sissy boy,

okay? And it's Brutus, okay?

Get it right. "Et tu, Brutus?"

Not Bruno. Moron.

WOMAN:
Paging Dick and Nunzio.

Dick and Nunzio.

See Monica Shavetts

in her workout room.

Did you release

our recreation director?

Yes, ma'am, no problem.

That's right, Mrs. Shavetts.

And I personally guarantee

that d*ckhead won't be showing his

stinking butt around here anymore.

Well, I have

another assignment for you.

After this afternoon's

rather humiliating events,

I have decided

it's in my best interest

to expedite

Mr. Peterson's financial woes.

Am I understood?

Yes, ma'am.

As Mr. Peterson still offers

a money-back guarantee,

the thought occurred to me.

What if things became rather

unpleasant for his customers?

Yeah, they'd ask for a refund,

and he can't afford it.

Get on it immediately.

And be discreet.

Don't sweat it, ma'am.

Discreet is our middle name.

Funny, I thought

it was "d*ckhead."

Oh, my gosh, what a great day this

was. Did you see your grandfather?

In all the years that I have known him

I have never seen him so excited.

What's wrong?

Don't you feel like talking?

No, Jen,

I was just thinking to myself.

Really, Kelly, about what?

Oh, life,

health, wealth, security.

What it would be like

to sleep with the Terminator.

I'm sorry.

I just have a lot on my mind.

I know.

Kyle didn't call, did he?

I don't care if he does.

Really? Why?

Because of something

he said today.

He called everyone over here

losers. He meant it, too.

People here are my friends

and my family.

And I have no desire to be with

anyone who thinks of them as losers.

Yeah, you know, I'm starting to

feel the same way about Wes.

I mean, when Victor

fell off his Jet Ski today,

he just started

chewing him out

like it was the end of

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