Meet Dave Page #5

since we've arrived on this planet.

-lt seems you are, too?

-Absolutely not.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

l'm recalibrating our weapon systems.

Just a second.

Exactly what weapon

are you recalibrating?

Okay, let's talk.

L'm feeling a little busted.

You know, pretty soon

you're gonna be too old

to dance with your mom.

Excuse me while l run to the restroom.

Josh.

L will be going home soon.

What is the matter with you?

When you're gone, everything's just

gonna go back to the way it was.

L'm not like other kids.

L can't even fight for myself.

My dad was a hero.

But me?

L'm just different.

Josh, listen to me.

We would never have been able

to find the orb without you.

Not everyone would have helped us,

but you did.

Because you are different.

L am very lucky to have a friend like you.

-You're just saying that.

-No, l am not.

You have helped us greatly.

We are all in great debt to you.

L did?

Yes. We are saved, Josh.

She thinks she's so hot. She's not hot.

Have you seen her butt?

-lt's like the size of our moon.

-You are so bad.

Bad and gorgeous!

Okay, another one. l took the liberty.

L love this song.

Need anything, Captain?

Yes, l may need

some music references for...

Dave, will you do me the honor?

Come on!

Lt'llbe fun.

Yes, yes, l would,

l'd love to dance with you.

You're gonna love it!

Here, it's really easy.

Just let the music take you.

All hands, stay alert,

and obey my commands to the letter.

-Captain, might l have a word?

-Make it brief.

There are emotional dangers

on this planet we did not foresee.

We are on the brink of anarchy.

Not now.

l'm trying to let the music take me!

All right, crew, everyone,

let's get it together, now!

All together!

Precision!

Right foot! Left foot!

Okay. Here, just follow my lead.

We should be fulfilling our mission,

trying to save our planet,

not leaping around like some sort of idiot,

attempting to woo a gigantic strumpet!

This captain has become a joke.

This is over the line, sir.

The Captain still deserves our respect.

Shake my hips like this! More hips! Hips!

Yes, that's it! More hips!

Look, l'm dancing!

All right, l'm in.

The dancing stops now.

Here, here. Hand here. Okay?

L need more wiggle in the posterior region!

Captain, if l may?

You think that you can do better?

Nothing personal, sir,

but that won't be hard.

Take charge.

Okay, boys and girls, everybody listen up!

You're gonna give me a basic,

stepping forward with the left

and back with the right.

Don't bounce, and do not over think it.

We're gonna put your accoutrements

right up against her.

Drop down.

This is salsa, people. Let's make it spicy!

Follow me!

L knew you were holding out on me.

Come on, come on, girl.

L'm about to show you

how to do the forbidden dance.

Lt's my birthday!

And dip her, like a cookie in milk.

L feel good. l feel loose.

L feel good. l feel loose. l feel good.

Hey!

Freeze!

-Everybody, stay calm.

-Hands up. Hands up!

Should we power up blasters?

No.

Too many innocent civilians.

Easy, folks, easy.

-Step back, please.

-Dave?

Hey, welcome to Earth.

Greetings.

We don't want to hurt you.

We don't want to hurt you.

We're you're friends.

All we want to know

is why you've come down to our planet.

Oh, for God sake.

Stay calm. They can't prove anything.

What is yourpurpose here?

What is your purpose here?

-The mystery is what your purpose here is.

-Okay, you know what?

L'm trying to do a thing, and you're not

helping me out, so please stop.

Greetings!

No. 2, what are you doing?

-You can't do this, Two.

-Excuse me?

We're playing

by my rules now, Ex-Captain!

Seize him !

-You cannot do this, No. 2!

-Can, and will.

-You brought this on yourself.

-What are we supposed to do?

You do what you took an oath to do

and protect me, your captain, Four.

Stay back, Four.

l don't want to see anyone get hurt.

You'll never get away with this, Two.

The rest of the crew will not support you!

Oh, yes, they will.

Because they have a mission to complete.

Three, you're supporting this?

Yes, l see no other way.

That's because there is no other way.

Whoa, who left the speaker on?

Shut that off!

Officer Dooley, can l speak to you outside?

Just for a minute.

You will regret this.

Something has been awakened in all of us.

Something you will never be able to stop.

Looks like l just did.

Confine him to his quarters!

Attention, crew! As of this moment,

un-Nilian behavior

will no longer be permitted.

Ln fact, it will be punished.

Severely.

A new era has begun,

with me as your leader.

You know,

we just met him a couple days ago,

-like l've said five times.

-Hey.

-Hey!

-You guys all right?

Yes. lt's been a long night.

-What do they want with him?

-l don't know.

He didn't do anything wrong!

Stand and engage blasters!

Sir?

L gave you an order.

Yes, sir.

-Did you not just hear those voices?

-Yes, l heard the voices.

Wow, we got a nutjob living

in New York City. What are the odds?

So what are you saying?

We should just let him go?

Yes, l think we should let him go!

That's exactly what l'm saying!

That's the most ridiculous thing

l've ever heard in my entire life!

Hey!

Activate heat shields.

-Freeze!

-Look out!

This guy's crazy!

Somebody about to get killed!

L'm out! Son of a...

Take cover!

You, woman and child,

you have wasted enough time

with your pathetic emotional distractions.

Dave?

Your undisciplinedhuman frailty

causes nothing but chaos!

And one other thing,

your so-called artwork

is both pretentious and sophomoric.

L could do this all day.

Freeze!

Three, find me the fastest route

to the landing site.

Three, l...

Guards!

No. 12! Have you been working out?

You can tell?

No.

Yes.

-Thank you, Three.

-l didn't do this to help you.

L did this to stop that lunatic!

-What have l done to hurt you so?

-You really can't be that oblivious!

Listen to me. Whatever l have

done to hurt you, l apologize,

but right now we have to

get to the engine room

-and shut down the ship!

-Fine! Let's just go.

What in Nil is your problem?

Are you all right, Josh?

Mom, l'm fine, but something's wrong.

That can't be Dave!

You have to trust me.

We need to go after him.

No, Josh, we're not doing that.

-l know you want to protect me.

-Of course.

But Dave is my friend,

and l need to protect him right now.

-Josh.

-lf we don't help him,

something terrible's gonna happen.

l know it!

L was just making conversation to ease

the apparent tension between us.

-Don't. You're making it worse.

-You know what...

No. 3, didn't take you long to betray me.

This is not the answer, Two!

You weren't Nilian enough

to do your duty,

-so you left me no choice.

-Listen to reason.

We thought that Earth was not

worth preserving. We were wrong.

There's much we've learned

from this place.

-We must not hurt these people!

-Yes, we must!

And since you two seem to love

these gargantuan beasts so much,

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