Meet the Parents Page #7

Synopsis: A Jewish male nurse plans to ask his live-in girl friend to marry him. However, he learns that her strict father expects to be asked for his daughter's hand before she can accept. Thus begins the visit from Hell as the two travel to meet Mom and Dad, who turns out to be former CIA with a lie detector in the basement. Coincidentally, a sister also has announced her wedding to a young doctor. Of course everything that can go wrong, does, including the disappearance of Dad's beloved Himalayan cat, Jinxie.
Genre: Comedy, Romance
Director(s): Jay Roach
Production: Universal Pictures
  Nominated for 1 Oscar. Another 7 wins & 14 nominations.
 
IMDB:
7.0
Metacritic:
73
Rotten Tomatoes:
84%
PG-13
Year:
2000
108 min
$164,454,835
Website
3,673 Views


(Meow )

(Meow )

- (Meow )

- Oh!

- (Meow )

- Sh*t!

Whoa!

No! No!

No!

Oh!

Oh, my God!

All right, all right, stand back!

Stay back. Call 911.

(Pam ) Jinxy. Jinxy!

We checked every yard,

nobody's seen him.

He's not up in the trees.

- Jinx isn't up here.

- The neighbours haven't seen him.

You tried to milk him,

you son of a b*tch!

Dad, stop it! That's enough!

Please calm down.

How? 15 minutes to go

and the ring bearer's missing.

- The ring bearer?

- Your daddy didn't tell you?

He taught Jinx to walk down

the aisle with this little pillow.

Oh, no, no, you didn't, Dad.

Yeah, you put this around the neck

and the ribbons are for the rings.

Oh, for Christ's sakes!

- Oh, Dad.

- Now we can't have the rehearsal.

Bob, you ride with me.

Larry, come with your car.

lf we're not back in an hour,

we'll reschedule for the morning.

No! We cannot cancel the rehearsal

for some stupid cat.

How could you say that? That cat's

been like a brother to you!

We just let him wander the streets

without food, water or toilet?

- Dad, Greg'll find him.

- What?

Yeah, what?

That's wonderful.

Fine.

Fine. OK. Denny? Denny? Denny!

Dad, l'm here.

Oh, OK.

You'll be the ring bearer for now.

l'm not wearing that stupid pillow

on my head.

Oh, yes, you damn well will!

Jinx!

Jinx! Come on, Jinx.

"Let him wander the streets

without food, water or toilet...

"Focker"!

Actually, you may be in luck.

They brought in a Himalayan

a little while ago.

There he is.

Holy sh*t! That's Jinx!

- Jinxy...

- Uh, let me see that photo again.

Picture him without the stupid cap.

Jinxy! Jinxy!

Uh, no.

You see, in the picture

your cat has an all black tail,

and this one has a white tip.

No, l'm sorry about that, chief.

Looks just like him.

Almost. Except for that tail.

(Chainsaw whining)

- Dearly beloved...

- (Crash)

Dearly beloved!

We are gathered here today

to join Dr Robert Banks...

(Whining and crashing)

Dearly beloved!

We are gathered here

on this beautiful day to join...

(Meowing)

..in holy matrimony.

This is a special day...

He found him!

lt's him!

Oh, Daddy, it's Jinx!

My little baby!

We found you!

We found you!

(Pam ) This is great!

- (Bob ) Way to go, Greg!

- Gave us a little scare, huh?

Jinxy! Aww...

# Ohh

# Oh, for once in my life

# l got someone who needs me... #

To Greg!

(All) To Greg!

- (Dina ) Where is Greg?

- ln the rest room.

Yes, l've tried every shelter

in the north shore.

He's a brown and black Himalayan

with an all black tail.

Mr Jinx.

Yeah, you check. l'll call back.

(Laughter)

- Hey, it's the man of the hour.

- Hey-hey!

Sorry, folks. Had to pay

a visit to the urinal fairy.

Greg, nice work with the cat today.

Thanks, Jack. Glad l could help.

Hey, we never did finish

that little convo in the den.

So there is still something

l'd like to talk about.

We'll get right to it

as soon as we get back.

l'm gonna hold you to that.

Circle of Trust.

Guess who's back in

the Circle of Trust?

(Paper tearing)

(Chewing)

(Meowing)

Whoo!

Oh, poor Kevin looks lonely.

l should ask him to dance.

What do you think?

Sure. He could, uh, whittle

a private dance floor for you two.

l'm serious.

l saw some beechwood outside.

He's very handy.

He's an extremely handy...

and crafty craftsman.

l shouldn't say that, but...

Come on, seriously. Part of you

wishes you ended up with him.

Yes, he's very talented.

But it would have never worked out.

Why not?

l was never in love with Kevin.

l'm in love with you.

- That's a good explanation.

- Think so?

- Thought you'd like that.

- l do.

l'm glad.

No, Jinx. Mr Jinx.

l called you half an hour ago.

OK, l already...

l already described it.

Airline.

Uh, it's, um...

lt's...brown...

With a little bit of black...trim.

Yes.

'Please enter your four-digit code.'

(Entering numbers )

'Jack, it's Hank from next door.

'Guess who wandered over here today?

'Mr Jinx. He's not wearing

his collar, but it's Jinxy.

'So just give me a jingle

when you guys get home,

'and l'll bring the rascal over.'

OK, just, uh, keep checking, please,

and l'll call back. Thanks.

- Any luck?

- No, they're still looking.

Jack, this is a great party.

Sometimes things just come together

in their own...kookie sort of way.

Yeah. Like the way you found Jinxy

at that animal shelter, huh?

Yeah-huh. Right.

- Well, he's home now.

- Yes.

You know,

something about that ball of fur

just puts a big smile on my face.

- Mm.

- Yeah.

You haven't seen his new tricks?

No. Mm-mm.

- Well, l'll show you.

- We don't have to do it tonight.

- He's probably tired.

- No, he'd like to show you tonight.

(Linda ) Honey, l'll drive.

- Hey, Larry, why don't l drive?

- Good idea!

l've always wanted

to test-drive a Benz.

Be my guest, Focker.

- Sweetie, what are you doing?

- Larry said l could drive.

Oh.

- Let's go. Hurry, hurry.

- Bye, guys.

- (Linda ) Thanks for driving, Greg.

- (Tyres squealing)

- Drives better than a Taurus, huh?

- Yeah.

- Get in the car, honey. Hurry up.

- OK, OK.

- (Tyres squealing)

- (Dina ) Whoa, Nelly!

(Larry ) Everybody comfortable?

(Tyres screeching)

You're a little wild man

at that wheel!

That's a ride, man!

Got your seat belts on back there?

Oh, Jesus, Focker!

- Jeez, take it easy!

- Benz drives like a dream.

Don't make it a nightmare.

Oh, there's Jack.

Hey, Jackie.

(Revving engine )

You wanna play, pops? Let's play.

(Revving engine )

(Linda ) OK, now, Greg... Greg?

(Tyres screech)

(Tyres screech)

ls everything OK, honey?

Yeah, just trying to make good time.

What is the matter with you?

All right,

we're gonna get home, very soon.

(Women screaming)

Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa!

lt's not the autobahn! Come on, Greg!

(Brakes screech)

(Linda ) Maybe you

should drive, honey.

Oh, no. Oh, no, please.

- Yes!

- Jack just turned.

You were supposed to make that left

at the light...Focker.

(Linda ) l'm gonna be sick.

(Denny ) Where is he going?

(Bob ) Home, home, home.

(Linda ) What a ride.

(Denny ) Who gave him the keys?

OK, we're out.

(Larry ) Does he have a licence?

(Denny ) Yeah, a licence to kill.

(Bob ) Hey, nice driving, Mario!

Lunatic. You're a lunatic!

(Pam ) Aw, leave him alone.

(Debbie screams )

(All talking)

- lt's everything!

- The cat!

God damn you, Jinx! l'll get you...!

Dad! Hey, hey! Dad! Calm down!

Where's the cat?!

- (Larry ) Cat got out! Cat got out!

- All right...

You spray-painted his tail to make

him look like Jinxy, didn't you?

What's he talking about?

Hank Macatee called me

and told me he found Jinxy.

He put his collar on an impostor,

then spray-painted his tail,

then he tried to beat us back

to get rid of the evidence!

Oh, no, he...

Please tell me that's not true, Greg.

lt was just a temporary solution

until l could find the real Jinx.

How could you do something like that?

l'm sorry.

What are you gonna say next -

that you set Kevin's altar on fire?

Oh, my God!

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Jim Herzfeld

Jim Herzfeld is an American film and television screenwriter who has also done work as a television producer. Herzfeld graduated from UCLA School of Theater, Film and Television (TFT) in 1984. Herzfeld's earliest TV credit is on It's Garry Shandling's Show in 1986. His earliest feature film work was a writing credit on the cult-comedy Tapeheads in 1988. Herzfeld's most successful work was writing the screenplay for the 2000 film Meet the Parents as well as writing the story and screenplay for its 2004 sequel Meet the Fockers. Despite occasional internet information to the contrary, Herzfeld was not a writer on the last of the trilogy, the critically savaged Little Fockers. Herzfeld was also the writer of the canceled Circle 7 Animation version of Toy Story 3. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Meet the Parents" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 23 Dec. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/meet_the_parents_13591>.

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