Meet The Spartans Page #6

how to get along #

#And so you're back #

# From outer space #

# I just walked in

to find you here #

#With that sad look

upon your face #

# I should have changed

my stupid lock #

# I should have made

you leave your key #

# If I had known

for just one second #

#You'd be back to bother me #

# Go on, now go #

#Walk out the door #

#Just turn around now #

# 'Cause you're

not welcome anymore #

#Weren't you the one #

#Who tried to hurt me

with good-bye? #

# Did you think I'd crumble? #

# Did you think

I'd lay down and die? #

ALL:

# Oh, no, not I #

# I will survive #

# Oh, as long

as I know how to love #

# I know I'll stay alive #

# I've got all my life to live #

# I've got all my love to give #

#And I'll survive #

# I will survive #

# Hey, hey #

##

##

Whassup, dawg?!

# Ha-ha! It took all

the strength I had #

# Not to fall apart, dawg! #

# Kept trying hard to mend

the pieces of my broken heart #

#And I spent,

oh, so many nights #

#Just feeling sorry for myself #

# I used to cry #

# But now I hold

my head up high #

#And you see me #

# Somebody new #

# I'm not that chained-up

little person #

# Still in love with you #

- (music stops)

- That's "Britney," b*tch.

- ##

- (chuckles)

#And so you felt

like dropping in #

#And just expect me

to be free #

# Now I'm saving all my lovin' #

# For someone who's lovin' me #

BRITNEY:

# Go, come on, now, uh! #

(rhythmic panting)

# Britney's in the house,

where my babies at? #

#Ah, like this #

ALL:

# Go, now, go #

#Walk out the door #

#Just turn around now #

# 'Cause you're

not welcome anymore #

#Weren't you the one #

#Who tried to hurt me

with good-bye? #

# Did you think I'd crumble? #

# Did you think

I'd lay down and die? #

# Oh, no, not I #

# I will survive #

# Oh, as long

as I know how to love #

# I know I'll stay alive #

# I've got all my life to live #

# I've got all my love to give #

- #And I'll survive #

- That's right, dawg!

# I will survive #

# Hey, hey! #

(upbeat pop intro plays)

# Hey, yo #

#When I wake up

moaning, yawning #

# I put up my hands #

#Thank the Lord

for what I got #

#And never stop my plans #

# Giving all for the goals #

# Got to keep it up,

never let my head drop #

# Make me a home on my own #

# Better make the bed rock #

#A place for the dog, a garage,

a yard to play around #

# Kitchen for missus #

# She be fixing them biscuits

golden brown #

# Got me a shorty and some kids,

just like a family should #

# Made it through changes,

that's how I live #

#And now it's all good #

# You gonna breathe now #

# It's all how you bounce back #

# How you bounce back #

# It's all how you bounce back #

# You gonna breathe now #

# It's all how you bounce back #

- # How you bounce back,

how you bounce back #

- # Hey, hey #

# You gonna breathe now #

# It's all how you bounce back #

# How you bounce back #

# It's all how you bounce back #

# You gonna breathe now #

# It's all how you bounce back #

- # How you bounce back,

how you bounce back #

- # Hey, hey #

# Super-classic-play-a-listic

homie, I'm the dopest #

# If you close your eyes

and miss it #

#Ask me why I wrote this #

# I have come so very far

to make this here my home #

# So if you thinking otherwise,

I guess you thinkin' wrong #

#All it takes is all I got,

a little bit of try #

#And if you make my babies cry,

I'll bust you in your eye #

# Gonna put in work,

gonna make it happen #

#Ain't no way

you could tie me up #

# 'Cause I hocus-pocus,

keep your focus #

#Then you know this,

that's what's up #

# You gonna breathe now #

# It's all how you bounce back #

# How you bounce back #

# It's all how you bounce back #

# You gonna breathe now #

# It's all how you bounce back #

# How you bounce back #

# It's all how you bounce back. #

##

##

NARRATOR:

As the Spartans kicked major ass...

even Leonidas believed...

victory was theirs.

Victory is ours, boys!

Ah-ooh!

Let's celebrate!

For tonight, we dine...

at Hooter's!

Hoo!

- (rock music playing)

- (men cheering)

##

Eat from them...

everything!

And tip them...

nothing!

MEN:
Yeah! Yeah!

It's Two-fer Tuesday.

Yeah!

- LEONIDAS:
Come on!

- No! Whoa!

(grunts)

Oh, isn't that sweet.

(boy screaming)

- (cracking)

- Oh! Oh-

Oh- Oh-

That's my boy.

Where do you think you're going?

- Aah!

- You little p*ssy.

##

No! No!

(boy yelling)

(loud crunch)

That's it.

(laughs):
Yay.

(boy yelling)

(crazed laughing)

- (yells)

- (crash)

##

If you can dodge a golf ball,

you can dodge a sword.

Ha! You missed.

Ow!

He can outflank us now, my king.

Men!

(noble theme plays)

We are facing certain death.

Cherries.

But...

the joke's on them,

because they don't know...

that dying in battle

is the greatest honor...

for any Spartan!

(fierce roar)

(unenthusiastically): Ah-hoo.

God, that's a shitty plan.

PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH:

Look, Leonidas...

war is not the answer.

Heh-heh.

Trust me, I know.

No! War is the answer!

(loud crunch)

(ominous theme playing)

Where am I?

Spidey, you're fired.

(screams)

(shrieking)

ELLEN DeGENERES:
Hi.

How are you, Leonidas?

(chuckles):
Ellen.

Listen, I don't know

why you're so upset.

You look great.

You know, the cape is great.

Love the... diaper.

I-I'd wear something very similar...

for Portia on Friday nights.

We get frisky.

Hello, Leonidas.

(laughs)

Wow, is it hot in here?

(laughs)

Okay, Portia, Portia,

women, women, women.

Women, you like

women. (laughs)

I can see by your-

your reaction, you're not amused.

It's the same reaction anyone

who went to see Mr. Wrong had.

Uh, let's play a game-

maybe we could play a game.

How about "Who Sneezed?"

(laughs)

It's a real easy game.

We close our eyes

and someone sneezes...

and you guess who.

(laughs)

If it was you, you win- 'cause

obviously, you know. (laughs)

Listen, chill out.

Let's just dance, shall we? Come on.

- (dance music playing)

- That's right. Oh, boy.

(laughs):
Okay.

There you go, you're

getting the hang of it.

- You know, back and forth-

- No, I can't do this!

(screams)

Yo mama's so ugly, if she was...

on the Spice Girls,

her name would be...

Dookie Spice!

Doo-doo!

Leonidas. (chuckling)

You should try Scientology.

I'm gonna set Katie free.

BOTH:
Yes!

I had to buy

a million and one glitters...

with my own money,

and I had to buy-

(quavering):

I put them on by hand, Simon...

and my reputation is all I have,

and for you to sit here...

telling me that

I'm not intennigent-

inte-

that I'm not intenni-

- Let me start over.

- Intelligent. Yeah.

- Hang on.

- Intelligent. Yeah.

- DANE COOK:
I looked everywhere.

- (groans)

Don't you hate when you're

on an airplane, you know...

and the captain's, like,

"If you look out the window...

to your left, you're gonna

see another plane"?

Am I right? See what

I'm talking about?

Another plane? Right?

Don't you hate when you're

in the supermarket...

you know, and you're in aisle three.

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