Midnight Sex Run Page #7

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I hereby decree...

... the implementing of the

sex-run mandated enema.

But don't worry, I have to

get them all the time.

It's easy. And mandatory.

You gotta be f***in' kidding me.

You hear from Jordan?

No, I'm getting kind of worried.

I'm sure he's doing great.

Just let me do it. C'mon.

Great. It's going great.

I knew you were a faggotron.

I knew it.

Hey Kate, are you ready for

some serious funny business?

[blows nose]...

... Do a snot rocket...

Oh God.

Do a snot shot.

Miss, please.

Do it.

No. Please. Settle down.

I gotta go. Ted's giving the enema...

... Did you say Ted?

He's back on the run?

Ted is about to give an enema to

a comedian. Says she's a scream.

Ya, well I'm doing pretty

good too, Jeff. Alright?

I'm doin' it with this hot, naked chick.

Here, here I'll show it you.

Oh. She's topless.

I can see her breasts.

Where did YOU come from?

What did YOUR mom do? Huh?

She's a laugh riot...

... This is gonna be classic.

It's gonna go viral.

You're gonna get hits up the wazoo.

Yeah, my f***in' wazoo.

Now you know what you're

doing back there, right?

You're not gonna make me sh*t

out of my mouth, right?

Oh, I don't think so. Here get

on the bed. Get on all fours.

Just like I used to do with my grandpa.

Now, faceplant.

Now I'm gonna raise up that a little.

Now am I going to feel a little prick?

God, I can't believe you

talked me into this sh*t.

Oh, God.

I don't feel anything.

Is it in there?

I don't feel anything at all.

[spit]...

... Patience...

... You gotta be patient.

Ah. Good morning, Vietnam.

It's really in there.

Looks just like the diagram.

This is classic.

Make sure you're not in the

way of the camera.

I'm totally putting this on YouTube.

Well, I'm totally putting this tube in you...

... Yes, strike a pose, Madonna.

That's great.

Ask her if she's ever had

her privates pierced.

Why don't you ask her, Jeff?

You should be doing this.

Um, really? Have you ever

pierced your genetalia?

Yeah, I did a lot. That sh*t got

infected too and I almost died.

Wow. She talked to me.

You should be doing this.

It's fun. It'd be good for you.

You should be in an oven.

I think that's enough for one.

I'm starting to get full.

No room for desert.

Oh, c'mon, you've only had

like a bag and a half.

You're doing great.

You're really doing great.

Oh, no way, it feels like I'm gonna burst.

You know who's gonna burst? The

crowd. The crowd's gonna burst...

...from laughter when they see

this f***in' video.

You're doing great. Hilarious.

But it's starting to hurt.

We need to stop this sh*t.

Literally.

Kate, I'm gonna raise your

allowance cuz you're such a good...

...little girl.

Now, keep drinking.

The essence of the life.

No. You have to f*** Rufus

first. Everybody does.

How about second?

Nope. Now. He likes it from behind.

Fine.

But I like it from the front.

You f***in' Rufus?

Where you going, Liev Schreiber?

[door slam].

How 'bout I kick your ass first?

Oh, no. I'm cool.

Oh, you're cool? B*tch come in

here and try to f*** my girl.

You think you can walk in my

motherfuckin' house and stick...

... you're Jew dick in my

motherfuckin' p*ssy?

Oh, I'm gonna turn into a creature...

I'm gonna make you feel regret.

We're an ogre.

RAWR.

Oh, you f***ed up. I'm too full.

I did it just the way the manual said.

I think you're fine.

You're fine. You're good.

No, no, no, no. It's stuck.

Call an ambulance.

No, It's not stuck, I just took it out.

Here, I can't call 911,

they'll kill my dad.

But what if something's wrong?

Please...

... Nothing's wrong, you

just need to purge.

You just need to purge, okay?

You just need to push it out.

You're just kinda full and you

need to push it out, okay?

Push. Push. PUSH.

[Anal water blasts]...

... [Anal blasts continue]...

... Throw up on this b*tch.

Okay.

[Punch] [Bite crunch]...

... Ow. Ah.

Oh my God.

Ah. Ahh.

You bit my f***ing fingers off.

MUSIC CONTINUES...

... Hey. Do you mind if we

call house keeping?

[Cell phone rings]...

... Hello?

Hello?

Hell-o?

Hello?

Hellooo.

HELLOOOO.

'Hello. You got me.

Under your spell...

... and I fell right away.

Hello, and thank you...

... for lookin' at me when I was

lookin' at you...'

I don't wanna hear a joke,

or see any poop for at least a year.

Maybe I'm not explaining

mine well enough.

Look, it doesn't matter.

I'm glad you did it. And...

... sorry I was mean to you.

Naw, I deserved it.

I was being a baby.

I've been kind of a baby this whole time.

But hey, we're back together now.

I think we're better together.

We're much better together.

We can do this. Alright?

You know what? I'm gonna

beep Jeff right now.

Ask him for a big one.

Do it. You know, you're right.

We can do anything together.

We can do anyone together.

Kate Hudson? Who cares.

Bring it on.

Hey, Jeff.

Listen, I know comedian and

punk rock girl were fruitless,

but uh, we're gonna make it up to you.

Give us the hardest one you've got.

Because I'm back with my best friend,

and we are gonna crush it.

Big time.

You're back together, huh.

Well, then.

I want you to pay a visit to...

... Jennifer. Peters.

Jennifer Peters...

...Camp Shalom Jennifer Peters?

She lives here?

Indeed she does.

Alright, Jeff. No big speeches.

Just tell us where she is.

I know exactly where she is.

Of course he does.

She's at a bar called 'Bar' and I forbit you...

... to utter one word about me

or what's going on.

I forbid it.

And hey, be good to her.

Jennifer Peters still exists.

I can't picture her in the

world we live in now.

She doesn't fit.

You were so in love with her.

You were so in love with her.

Everyone was in love with her.

Rabbi Gold had to be escorted

off camp grounds by security.

Alright, let's not sweat it.

She can't be that kind of

Jennifer Peters anymore.

Think about it.

She's gotta be disgusting now.

You're right.

She's probably a big, fat,

ugly, nasty, skanky

Jennifer Peters now.

That's the Jennifer Peters she is.

This is so like Jeff, to give

us something this gross.

This is so Jeff.

He's f***ing with us.

This is so Jeff.

Disgusting. Ew.

It's 1:
30. We gotta get to

the bar right before last call.

MUSIC...

... Oh, great. We're f***ed.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Jennifer's waiting for us.

We gotta go.

We're on a midnight sex run.

Let's f***in' run it.

C'mon, c'mon.

Let's go. Let's go.

[honking]...

... MUSIC CONTINUES...

... Ted.

Ted.

Who's that?

That-- That's just like a side

project I'm working on.

Ted, I see you.

Are you seriously not going

to come over and talk to me?

Nice to see you.

Good to see you too.

I'm kind of in the middle of something.

No. Not gonna let go.

MUSIC...

... It's really you, right?

I'm not dreaming?

If it's a dream than it's mine.

I can't believe I'm

standing in a bar at 2 A.M.

next to Jordan from Camp Shalom.

Jennifer Peters...

... Shalom.

Shalom.

What're you doing here? This

is such a crazy surprise...

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