Mighty Aphrodite Page #5

- Oh, no!

- Come sit down.

- No, no. I don't know why.

Usually, you know,

I'm just the picture of health.

- Yeah? You work out?

- Not-- Not religiously.

Oh, I'm not religious either.

Mostly, my folks were Episcopalian.

- Oh, are they? So--

- So.

So what do you do, Lenny?

Oh, no. Wait. Let me guess.

I have a great knack for guessing

what people do for a living.

- Um--

- Um, uh-- I'll tell you the truth.

- Rug salesman!

- You're close.

I'm-- I'm a sportswriter.

Because--

- Sh*t. I wasn't even in the ballpark.

- Well, it was not--

Wait. Ballpark. Sportswriter.

Get it?

- I get it.

I did it with a wrestler once.

A huge, hairy guy.

You'd figure he'd be hung like a horse,

but there was very little there.

Look, could I-- could I

just get a little water?

- I don't care if it's brown.

- Oh, I'm sorry.

I don't mind rust.

I'm just feeling a little--

T-Tell me, Linda.

Uh, uh, tell me

about yourself, Linda.

Well, what do you--

what do you want to know?

Anything.

I just want to know about you.

- Well, basically, Lenny,

- Yes?

- I'm an actress.

- Oh, that's wonderful.

I like drama. I study.

Yes? Uh, where--

where's that?

Paul Delucca.

Have you ever heard of him?

- Paul Delucca? No.

But then, I wouldn't.

- Yeah.

- Oh, he's really well-known.

He's a genius.

- I'm sure. I'm sure.

He says he thinks I'm gonna

make it big.

- Mmm.

- Um, I know you will.

- Yeah. Maybe you've seen

some of my movies.

- That's possible.

Did you ever see

The Enchanted P*ssy?

Not yet, but I-I--

It's on my list of must-see.

Oh, they're videotapes,

so you can rent it.

But my real ambition is

to be on Broadway in a musical.

- I sing.

- Do you?

- Excuse me.

Hello? Busy. Some of them

are called John, all right?

- Was that-- Was that your husband?

- Ha-ha. Very funny.

No, but I mean, you have no husband,

no family, no children...

or anything like that?

'Cause some do.

You have a funny look on your face.

- Um.

- Did I say the wrong thing?

- No. Not really.

- I-- I said--

No. No, listen.

- What are you in the mood for, Len?

- Me? I-I, well,

I would like to--

You know, we can chat for a while.

I thought I'd get into it

slowly and, you know--

You're married, aren't you?

- How can you tell that?

- 'Cause you got that look.

That look?

Wh-What look is that?

That look like it's been a long time

since you've had a great blow job.

Oh, that look.

I-- I can understand.

- Wh-Where are you from?

- Mm, around.

What are you so interested

in me for?

- That's my fingers.

- Yes, I know.

- Here.

- What--

Pull, pull!

Pull the strings.

- Pull these strings?

- Yeah, pull all the strings.

See? See what happens?

- I'm not so mechanical as I was.

- Oh, it's easy. Here. Pull.

- Ahh! See, it opens!

- Ohh!

That's amazing.

Science is-- is--

- Yeah.

- You, you, you-- I-I--

Oh. Really. Well.

Uh, you're a very attractive woman,

a very beautiful young woman.

Oh, thank you, Lenny.

Well, you're cute too.

So, what do you say?

- You wanna go inside, take a shower?

- A shower?

-You can study me up close and personal.

-Oh! Oh.

No, see, I bathed already.

- You got lipstick on my fi--

- Mmm, you smell clean. Mmm.

- Thank you. Well--

As I say, I'm basically--

My ear.

- You're sensitive, huh?

- It's my weak spot, in my ear.

- Oh. Okay.

A little nibbling

makes me... go crazy.

Okay, Len.

Are you nervous?

I-- No. But yes, I am nervous,

to tell you the truth.

- You do look that way.

- I've never-- I-I've never

done this, actually.

- Oh, okay. That's all right.

I'll take it slow.

- This is-- I-I--

Oh. Okay. I--

Um, incidentally, Len,

I think I should tell you

ahead of time I-I get 200 dollars.

It's no problem.

No problem.

- Just a-- Just a show of good faith.

- Thanks, Lenny. Wow!

You're really sweet, Len.

Put it down

as a religious contribution.

No, but seriously, you want to know

why I liked you right from the start?

- Why?

- 'Cause I'm always attracted to losers.

Losers?

You think I'm a loser?

Yeah.

You got no confidence.

It's sweet.

I like that in a man.

I can't stand those johns who come here

and throw down a couple of hundred...

and whip out a big dick

and wave it all over the joint.

Oh, I-- I wouldn't do that

even if I wanted to because I'll just--

- Ah, sh*t!

Hello. Oh, hello,

Angela.

Oh! Oh, wow!

Ha-ha!

Oh, God, thank you

for thinking of me.

Yeah, that's great.

Okay.

Yeah, well, I'll see you at 10:00.

Bye.

I just got a small part

in an Angela Dawson movie.

I get to do it with her!

I don't understand you.

If you're-- If you're serious

about being a Broadway actress,

what are you wasting your time

with all this porn for?

What's it to you?

It's good experience.

How? Making it with a woman in front

of the camera is good experience?

That's gonna get you closer

to be a Broadway star?

- What are you getting all mad for?

- I'm not mad.

I just think it's crazy.

You're an attractive young woman.

You know, what are you--

You don't have to live like this, Linda.

- What are you, my pastor?

- This is crazy!

You take money from guys

and you perform all these acts.

You know, you could be--

Hey, I'm talking to you.

- You could have a family.

- Hey, let go of me!

- You could have a husband

and a child or something.

- All right. No. Hey!

Stop. Stop it now! Stop!

- Listen. I don't like possessive men.

- I'm not possessive.

You come in here, you don't

want to do anything with me.

You're telling me what to do.

- I want to talk.

- Do you want to do it or not?

- I want to talk.

I paid you, I want to talk.

- Oh, no. Okay.

- I bought the time.

- Then you get your money back.

- I'm giving it back. Refund.

- No, keep the money.

- Let's go. No.

- I bought the time!

- Hey, stop it. No, I'm giving

it back and you're leaving.

- Why can't I talk?

- Get out!

Daddy, why are you

staring at me like that?

Come here.

You know why I'm

staring at you?

I'm staring at you

'cause I can't believe it.

Because you're so bright

and you're such a great kid.

Come on, Max.

Now it's time for bed.

Come on. Okay.

Time for beddums.

- Ready? The kid's getting heavy.

- He can walk, you know.

- Yeah. Okay. Can you walk?

Poor Weinrib! Turn back.

Don't meddle any further.

Accept the truth.

I see disaster.

I see catastrophe.

Worse, I see lawyers.

But wait, a messenger.

I come from the midtown area

where Lenny Weinrib,

tortured by passions

too overwhelming to regulate,

did indeed call

this little hustler on the phone...

in earnest attempt

to see her again.

At first he wrestled

with his drives,

trying to master a curiosity...

not slaked by this initial meeting,

but only whetted by it.

His thirst to know this woman more

did inexorably provoke him to call her.

Nervous and confused, at first

he only got her answering machine.

Then, at fifth try,

she picked up the phone herself.

Painful to relate that she

thought he was nuts and did

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