Mighty Aphrodite Page #8

I don't know. I was--

I was all confused.

I had no dough. I-I--

I didn't know what to do.

I--

I didn't even know

who the father was.

It could've been any one

of a hundred guys.

Welcome to planet Earth,

thanks to a broken condom.

Gee. That's tough.

Um.

What about your kid?

Max? M-M-Ma-- You know.

Max is the greatest.

- Yeah?

- Well, sure.

Do you have

a picture of him?

- A picture of Max?

- Yeah. I'd like to see him.

Oh.

Uh, yeah, I guess I--

Oh.

He's very sweet. He--

You're very lucky.

With Amanda, it was fate.

With Linda, it's hubris.

His drive to find out, and now,

to change her life, to control her.

- Yes.

- Danger.

Wait. Wait,

I see... danger.

Hey, wait a minute. I don't have

any interest in controlling her.

I'm doing this for Max's sake.

When the kid gets older, inevitably

he's gonna trace his mother.

And, you know, I'd be happier...

if she was married and a--

a hairdresser, you know,

rather than the star

of The Enchanted P*ssy.

Danger! I see horrible,

horrible danger!

- Terrible danger!

- Hey, I can handle myself emotionally.

Not emotional danger,

physical danger.

I see a bald man.

He has a lead pipe.

He's breaking your kneecaps.

So, so, uh, what did, uh--

How did Jerry Bender take it...

when you said that

the decision was final?

You know what?

He was amazing.

I thought he'd be upset, but no,

he was very excited and very supportive.

No, he's being--

He was absolutely great about it.

Anyway, I-l'm calling to say

I can't make dinner tonight.

Oh, you're kidding.

It's gonna be great.

Everybody in the Madison Square Garden

organization's gonna be there.

Look, there's no way

I can get away.

The architects are here

and the Dorians are in town from Paris.

And, uh, the architects fly back

to Milan tonight. I can't.

All right, well.

I'll tell you what.

What I'll do is, I'll go home

and I'll put Max to sleep.

I'll spend a little time

there and then--

Then-- Oh.

Uh, look, let me--

I'm gonna call you back. I got, uh--

I'm gonna call you back.

Oh, geez.

It's just against our policy--

- I understand!

- If you wanna wait right here.

- Whatever.

-Lenny, there's someone here to see you.

-Lenny!

- Uh, yes.

Uh, c-c-come in. Come in.

- Lenny!

- Th-This is Miss Gildersleeve.

She's an acquaintance.

- You know her?

- Gildersleeve?

- Yes, Miss-- Miss Gildersleeve.

We're old-- It's okay. It's okay.

I'll be in here.

- You don't need anything?

- No, no! I'm fine.

- Okay.

- I'm fine.

- What are you doing here?

- Lenny? Lenny, I got to talk to you.

Ricky threatened to-- to--

to hurt me. He--

- Who's Ricky?

- He takes a percentage of my work.

- He's a pimp, right?

- No, he's like

a business representative.

What do you need a business repre--

You-- You--

All you need is a mattress

and a couple of garter belts.

You're not a conglomerate.

Lenny, he said he

was going to cut me up...

because I told him I didn't

want to work anymore.

Well, I think it's a great

idea that you want to phase out.

- He has no qualms about killing me.

- Ohh.

Listen, we'll call the police.

That's not a big deal.

How can I call the police

with my setup?

You know, I told you

a thousand times...

you're in a hazardous business.

So that's what happens.

Now, so-- Don't go outside.

I'm not going outside. I thought,

just maybe, if you could talk to him.

- Me? What, are you nuts?

- Yeah, because--

Because you're smart and bright

and you got a way with words.

I can't talk to him.

I don't even know the guy.

Yeah, well, he knows it was your idea

that I get out of the business.

So he said he's gonna

kill you too.

- He said he was gonna kill me?

- Yeah, 'cause it was your idea.

He's gonna cut up my face

and put a bullet between your eyes.

Really? Did he--

Did he specify the caliber?

Listen, I just thought maybe

you could just reason with him.

No, I can't.

I-- Listen, I never told you this,

but I got a-- a slight

heart murmur...

and right now

it's murmuring "hide."

- I don't believe you're a coward.

Only in actuality.

Um, this is not for me.

- Lenny, I need your help.

- No, I'm not a violence person.

I-I write about hockey and boxing

and football. This is not my world.

Lenny, I do want to quit like you said,

but he said he's not gonna let me!

- He's gonna hurt us both. Please!

- Relax, relax.

What do you want me to do?

How am I gonna talk to him?

- Well, okay. You just--

- I--

You just talk because you're smarter

than he is and stronger than he is.

You're a much better man. So just

remember that when you talk to him.

He's a little bit intimidating.

He's got a bald head and an earring.

- But you'll win. I know you will.

- Jesus, I-- I--

You're a good man, Lenny.

You'll win.

Look, in case anything

comes up,

I want you to know that I-l'm

type O-positive, okay?

Derek, I got the feeling you

came here and obviously moved...

into this whole Knick persona.

- Did you get caught up, maybe,

with a little bit of this Knick,

- Excuse me.

"I gotta be physical,

I gotta be tough," and maybe--

I'm, uh, I'm

Lenny Gildersleeve.

I-- I'm a friend

of Linda-- Linda Ash's.

And, uh, I thought

that perhaps we could--

See--

What I want to discuss

with you is that...

there comes a time in the life

of every young woman,

not just Linda, but everyone,

that they-- they want to perhaps

make a change in their life.

They maybe want to settle down

or explore alternative lifestyles.

I don't think you've been a very good

influence on Linda, Mr. Weinrib.

Weinrib. Right. So Gildersleeve

is a name I use for business purposes.

- I got an investment in Linda.

- No question.

I honor that. But--

But by now, she's probably...

repaid you tenfold

or twentyfold or--

Don't be so f***in' sure, 'cause you

don't know what the f***in' numbers are!

That's a point well taken.

Excuse me, you're-- you're-- Excuse me.

I-I-I understand what you're saying.

Is that a Pellegrino?

Can I-- Because you've

bent my throat now a little bit.

And, uh, the windpipe used to

hang straight until this moment.

The f***in' Knicks suck!

They need a good shootin' forward.

Yes, well, there's gonna

be a three-way trade.

I don't know if you guys

heard anything about it.

- Seattle, Atlanta

and the Knicks are talking.

- Bullshit.

- No, no, no. I kid you not.

I know. It's in the air.

- Yeah?

- They're discussing a trade.

- So what do you think about the Nets?

- You think the Nets got a chance?

- The Nets? Yes, I do.

If they're injury-free,

I think they have a good chance.

I like the Nets. I think they're

one or two years away, is all.

I would say two or three myself.

You see, we have a common interest,

the three of us.

- What were we talking about?

- Linda, Linda Ash.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

That girl's goin' no place.

She walks on me, I'll disfigure her

and I'll f***in' kill you.

See, that's exactly what

Dr. Kleinholtz would call "acting out."

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