Mighty Aphrodite Page #9

- Don't tell me how to run

my f***in' business!

- I'm not!

My girls do

what I tell 'em to do.

Far be it for me to advise you.

You obviously have a work ethic

that's specific to your needs.

That's why you can afford

an establishment like this, you know.

You're gonna take that from him?

Take it easy. Take it easy.

I'm about to have an

out-of-body-experience here.

- Show strength.

- Show strength?

This guy's gonna put me

into 27 separate Mason jars.

The girl was right. They respect

strength. They despise cowardice.

Power is all they know.

Stand firm.

- Remember brave Achilles.

- Hey, don't get--

Achilles only had an Achilles heel.

I have a full Achilles body.

- Go on!

Look, I'm gonna level

with you.

I want to discuss

this Linda Ash thing and I-I--

What are you so interested

in Linda for anyway, huh?

- Are you f***in' her?

- No, we have a strictly

platonic relationship.

- Yeah?

- It's a good shirt.

Well, if you're a friend of hers, don't

be putting stupid ideas in her head.

She's liable to get hurt.

You too.

You're gonna

let him do that to you?

Hey, look. Would you do me a favor

and go back to Athens?

You gonna let your son's mother remain

a white slave to this two-bit pimp?

It-- It's starting

to look that way, isn't it?

- You get them Knicks tickets yet?

- No tickets.

- I tried everywhere.

- Do you need tickets to the

Knicks game? Because I--

- Why? Who do you know?

Me? I-I can help you.

We want seats on the floor,

next to the movie stars.

If you want to discuss a deal with

Linda, I can get you courtside seats.

You can't get 'em.

Nobody can get 'em, 'cause I tried.

No, I can, though.

I-- I'm a sportswriter. I can get 'em.

I'd f***in' give you my mother

for courtside seats,

much less this cheap little whore.

That's perfectly put, succinctly put.

I know what point you're making.

- But if you're tryin'

to f***in' pull something,

- Easy. Take it--

I will shoot you and her

through the f***in' eyeballs!

It's silly to haggle over details.

Well, I'll get the tickets.

I'll get the tickets, I promise.

Then we can discuss Linda.

Dad, are you very brave?

Am I brave? It's funny

you should ask that question.

Who'd win a fight,

you versus Mike Tyson?

What? What?

Who would win what?

Who'd win a fight,

you versus Mike Tyson?

- Me versus Mike Tyson?

Who do you think would win?

- You?

There'd be no contest,

you know.

He would probably take the early rounds,

but I'd get to him eventually.

I'd chase him all over the ring.

It's my style. Always was.

On the whole, I think it

will work. Yeah, I think it will.

The only thing is, I want the gallery

to be lit from above,

so I guess the skylight

will have to be enlarged.

- Honey? Bed? Could you?

- Me or him?

Him. Please?

No, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I can't do this. I can't.

-Why are you fighting this?

-'Cause I'm married and I have a family.

A-And I love Lenny.

I love him.

So, who are you trying

to convince, you or me?

- I got you a present.

- You're kidding.

Yeah. For fixing things up

with me and Ricky.

- I know he can be really rough.

- That was completely unnecessary.

Very sweet,

but completely unnecessary.

You didn't want a blow job, so the least

I could do was get you a tie.

Good thinking.

That's uh-- Oh!

- Yes, it's a tie, isn't it?

- Would you ever

wear anything that bright?

- If the occasion demanded.

You know, like if I ever get invited

to the Mardi Gras, I could--

Oh, good. Lenny, do you want

a sandwich? I'm gonna have a sandwich.

- No, I'm fine. Thank you.

- Oh, okay.

- It's great.

- Good.

You know what, Lenny?

I couldn't get your son's picture

out of my mind.

- Well, he's a very cute kid, you know.

- Yeah.

Len?

I think I would be

a good mother.

I think you'd be a great mother.

You're very affectionate.

- Yeah?

- Mm-hmm.

I would like to start over again.

Maybe have a house. That would be nice.

It would be great, you know.

I think it'd be fabulous.

- And you could do it.

- Yeah?

- Yeah. Mm-hmm.

- The problem is, now,

finding the right guy.

I need to find somebody

who'll love me, you know.

Somebody who'll take care

of me and respect me.

Well, I'll keep my eye open.

You know, maybe--

maybe-- who knows?

The only thing is, Len,

he'd have to be as smart as me.

I'm sure there's somebody out there,

you know, that can--

- You'll find an equal somewhere.

- Yeah?

And don't worry, Len.

I gave up on you.

- M--

- I knew it couldn't be.

Let me tell you, at my age,

if I made love with you,

they would have to

put me on a resuscitator.

Ha.

- This is Max.

- Max.

- This is my kid.

- How old are you?

- I'm five.

- You're five? You gonna be a fighter?

- Yeah.

Max is gonna be

a middleweight when he gets older.

He's gonna be a heavyweight,

the way you're carryin' him.

I'm gonna teach you how to box, Max.

I'm gonna show you a combination punch.

One-five, one-five.

Two, three and four, you're gonna get.

- Hey, Ray. This is my kid Max.

- How you doin', Max?

Max is gonna be a middleweight

when he gets older.

- Maybe a heavyweight?

Yeah, I think a heavyweight.

- You wanna go hit the bag with me?

- Okay.

- Nice kid.

- He's a doll.

So, what's with

the Sanchez thing?

Is he gonna win that?

ls he training? ls he not training?

- He can do it. He's in

the best shape of his life.

- Yeah?

The only thing is, you don't know

what these guys do outside the gym.

- Well, that's the point.

You hear all these stories.

- He'll be all right.

Hey, Kevin, come here. I wanna introduce

you to my friend Lenny Weinrib.

- He's a sportswriter.

He writes about boxing.

- How you doin'?

- Listen, I'm gonna get

warmed up, all right?

- Show us what you can do.

- My hand's still a little sore.

- Wrap it up good. You'll be okay.

- I don't know that kid.

- This kid can move. He hits good too.

Got nice hand speed,

you know?

Only thing is, you don't know about

these guys-- sometimes they lack desire.

I seen it a million times. I don't know

if he's got the killer instinct.

Keeps talkin' about goin' back upstate

where he comes from on an onion farm.

- He wants to be an onion farmer.

You believe it?

- That kid's a farmer?

He's an onion farmer, yeah. I don't know

how long he's gonna stick around.

That's the problem. It's a shame too;

he hits like a f***in' mule.

He's fast, but he wants to quit boxing,

go back and hang out on the farm.

You know, retire.

And the worst thing of all is,

his girlfriend left him.

- She quit on him.

- Really?

Took him for everything

he's got.

He's a nice, sweet kid, but between you

and I, he ain't got too much upstairs.

They're all alike.

Hey, Len, what's the matter with you?

Looks like you got somethin'

on your mind. I don't understand.

Hey, Bo!

This-- This is the left,

and this is the right.

- Right?

- Yeah, yeah, Kevin, that's right.

Yeah.

Bye-bye.

- Hi, Lenny. I'm so sorry I'm late.

- It's okay.

- It's starting to rain.

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote