Milf Page #6

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Oh, that feels good.

It feels good doing that.

[Moaning]

[Cell phone rings]

Yeah?

Is this--

Where's Nate?

Are you Nate?

Yeah.

He's here.

Hello?

Hey, jerkoff,

Im in the lobby.

What's

the emergency?

Dude, i am wasted.

You've got to give me

a ride, yeah?

So call a cab.

He wants me

to call a cab.

But, dude,

you're here now.

Just come up

and give me a ride.

Oh, yes.

Dude, i think

Im doing it

With our physic

teacher's wife.

You know, Mrs. Hiller.

How cool is that, dude?

Hey, buzz him up,

will ya?

Anthony:
Mr. Hiller!

He's here! He's here!

My husband!

Hey, Mr. Hiller.

Yes? And who are you?

It's me, Anthony Reese.

I'm in your physics class

in college.

How nice. Good

to see you, Mr. Reese.

Hey, wait, wait, wait.

Hi, sweetie.

Oh, you're early.

Did you forget about

the Anderson dinner party?

I must have.

I am so sorry, baby.

I'd better go

clean up right now.

Wanna come with me?

Oh, indeed i do.

Come on, come on,

cone on, jackass.

I'm sorry. I needed someone

to post up for me.

[Laughs]

Did you get what

you wanted at least?

Yeah, she was

a straight up freak.

You should have seen

the size of them, man.

And the best bit--

I got it all on video.

Whoa!

I just need

to dry it off.

Where's ross?

Last i saw, he was getting

a MILF of his own.

[Both laugh]

That feels so good.

Mrs. Reagan?

Oh, sh*t! 911, there's

an emergency! Thanks.

[Siren]

Morning.

Morning.

Last night

was incredible.

You were

incredible.

You, too.

Who wants pancakes?

Anthony?

What are you doing here?

I brought you strawberries,

your favorite.

Thanks, Anthony.

Come on, dad, don't

you want your pancakes?

What?

Strawberries,

honey.

What is this?

Oh, god.

What the hell happened?

Okay, okay, look, it fell

in the hot tub, all right?

But we can fix it.

Besides, if i don't,

I'm don't get credit

for the last MILF.

So it'll be done.

Don't worry.

Do you have any idea how

much this equipment costs?

And what happened to

the second button cam?

Okay, Im not

going to lie.

There was

an incident.

You went for the crotch shot,

didn't you?

No. Okay, yes.

But it wasn't my fault.

Do you know there's

this suction thing--

That's it! Man, Ive had it

with you two and your crap.

All you do

is take and take

And you don't even care

about anyone else.

Why do you two jerkoffs

keep looking at your phones?

MILFS. They

keep texting us.

Me, too. It's like

They think we're

dating or something.

Can you two focus, please?

I knew you were

gonna break my stuff.

I knew it. I let you

borrow it anyway.

Then really

it's your fault.

That's what Im talking

about right there, man.

You never take

responsibility.

You just get into

all kinds of crap

And expect

it's going to work out.

You should be

embarrassed, man.

I'm out.

This is ridiculous.

Are we a**holes?

You are.

Hey, man.

Thanks for being cool

About me

digging out last night.

What happened with that?

Nate lied to me, man.

He needed someone

to run interference.

I'm gonna ask you something

about last night.

Sure.

There was

a real weird vibe.

My parents

fighting over you.

You don't think

They're getting

back together, do you?

I mean, because

i love my dad,

But Ive just never,

ever thought

That they were

happy together,

And last night was just

a reminder of all it.

[Cell phone rings]

Who is it?

No one.

Okay, guys, hear us out.

We're done.

We're through.

Right. The bet's off.

I won.

I did, but who cares?

Okay, right.

These women...

they're crazy.

Yeah. Hormonally

unbalanced.

Sexually frustrated.

Menopausal.

Fine.

Congratulations.

Wait. There's more.

Look, we need to stop 'em.

They call us 24/7.

They know where we live.

They just won't stop!

Yeah, i have finals

in two weeks.

And?

Um...we need your

mom's house.

Why's that?

This ought to be good.

Look, there's no way

The MILFS will come

to a party at a dorm.

Yeah, and there's no way

That people will pay for

a party in the dorms.

Hold on. Back it up.

Why do we need

the MILFS to show up

At my mom's house?

Think about it, right.

What if they had other

young guys to go after?

Right? Other young studs

To, like, tickle

their fancy.

Then they'd finally

stop calling us.

No.

Aw, come on! Aren't you

supposed to wingman for us?

Come on. Brandon,

Didn't you bequeath

your debt to us?

Sure.

Then technically,

You owe us.

Fine. I'll do it.

But this officially

pays off my debt.

Okay, awesome, because

we already started

Putting these up

around campus.

And at the MILF bar.

Oh, my god.

Hey, stranger.

Hey, what's up?

I saw you guys are

having a house party.

That's pretty awesome.

Yeah. Not me, but...

Oh. But are you

going to go?

Yes, but...

i think Im going

to go, too.

I could use

the opportunity

To blow off some steam

after all these tests.

That is if you're

going to be having

Some of that

sweet, sweet

Microbrew action

going on again.

No. I really think

It's just gonna be

the regular kind of beer.

Oh.

You don't want me

to come?

No, of course not.

Great. Then Ill see you

there in a few hours.

Great.

Okay. Good-Bye.

Good-Bye.

[Cell phone buzzes]

You haven't returned

any of my calls.

I know.

We need to talk.

Okay. I've heard

that tone before.

Look, it's been fun,

all right? It has.

But we both knew this wasn't

going to last forever.

I mean, i really

don't want to hurt Anthony.

Well, what about me?

Don't you care

what i think?

Of course, but--

Sheldon talked to you,

didn't he?

What?

A**hole. He doesn't

want me to be happy.

Holly--

Look, you are

the first person

I've been attracted to

since the divorce.

And what, now you're

suddenly popular

And you're just gonna

dump me like trash? No.

How's it looking?

So far so good.

Oh, thank god.

She's alive.

Best way to spend the rest

of the year, you know?

Best buds hanging out.

Nice party, fellas.

It's not bad.

Oh, hey, man.

Um, hey, listen, you know,

It was really great living

right next to you, you know?

I'm sorry we didn't get

to hang out more.

Yeah. Sure. Whatever.

What happened

to your eye?

Now he's captain a**hole.

I'm gonna go wander

around for a bit. You cool?

Oh, yeah, man.

I'm cool. I'm cool.

Get out there, dude.

Cool.

Hey, you made it.

Yeah,

i wouldn't miss it,

Especially since all

the cool kids are here.

Yeah, yeah.

Look at that.

Isn't that just silly?

I mean,

why would you bother

With someone with

such a huge age gap?

Maybe...i don't know,

Maybe they've just got

a real connection or something.

So do you have plans

for summer?

Oh, actually,

i have an internship,

So Im going to

be around here.

So what about you?

Yeah, i just live

about 20 minutes away,

So i, too,

Ill be right here,

Right in this area.

Cool. Cool.

Most of my friends are

going home for the summer,

So Im going to need

someone

To hang out with.

Oh, Im gonna

be here, so...

Okay. I'm going to

take you up on that.

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