Mis terrores favoritos Page #4

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What? Why?!

l wanted to express myself!

Scram! The end of casting.

For Christ's sake,

send everybody out!

Pay them wages for half a day!

Send them to hell!

Damn! The doubles!

All of them look-likes!

What the devil made me

listen to Rysio. Damn it!

How is it?

Man! Have you got mad too?

You're supposed to be ill!

You're ill. Seriously ill!

This day will cost me 50 000 zloty!

Do you want to go to jail with me?!

lf you're bored, leave!

Pick up mushrooms. Goddammit!

That's a very good concept!

Go and pick up mushrooms!

You're free!

Hello? Rysio,

l'm sorry l have shouted at you.

Sorry for those mushrooms

but stay at home!

Yes! Yes!

Listen.

What mushrooms is he sorry for?

But... l'm at home.

That's very good you're at home!

That's it...

Bring this guy

who was here a moment ago...

That's it... Go!

Miss Krysia, this guy,

who was here, is needed!

He left but we need him.

Send for this gentleman

who was here!

Eh, you!

Go! Faster!

Men in white coats

will come for me...

- We have this man, Mr Director.

- Bring him in!

Good morning, good day, hello!

You're asking where l'm from?

l'm jolly Romek!

l live in suburbs in a little hut,

l've got water, electricity and gas!

So l'll repeat one more time.

l'm jolly Romek!

- What can he know?

- He can know everything!

That's the truth... Everything...

He can do everything!

He placed the advert, he found me

and warned me...

- That's what he said?

- Yeah!

''Go pick up mushrooms,

otherwise we'll both go to jail''!

- Mushrooms now? You know him?

- At all. Never seen!

His face reminds nobody!

But what's the matter?

The 4 tones we stole?

Maybe the 12 tones

from the last week?

Maybe the 8 tones of coke.

Or lofix?

- That's it! The lofix, yes!

- Let's go for these mushrooms!

And on our way let's buy some wine.

l have a daughter, so we have an occasion!

- Again?

- The same as 4 years ago.

Child is a child, you can always

drink for their health!

And what's her name?

ln general,

as a rule we call her Marysia,

but we want to give her

a modern name.

There's such a name...

good for a girl.

What is it?

Tradition!

Bunch of scroungers and morons!

Nobody wants

to move his ass!

l'm getting nuts, spending money,

to have a nice advert to attract

as many people as possible.

Finally we have the double

to play in a film,

and film is the most important art.

And this double for the most

important of all arts you let go!

Apparently he passed...

How many people showed up

for the audition?!

Give me the report book.

Forget women,

the rest must be checked!

- Everybody, in their homes?

- Yes!

- Stop playing the fool!

- We'll lose all night!

We'll find him. l'll drive

for 2 nights but l'll find him!

l want him for the morning.

Morning!

Aren't you coming?

Come here!

Who will adjust the counter?

Boiler room, hello!

Good day, Miss Director.

One, two! One, two, three!

Five, six, seven! Eight!

Please, be quiet for a while!

Admin is calling me!

l'm listening to you, Miss Director.

That's right, Miss Director...

l understand everything...

l understand you are cold,

but it's winter so it's cold!

Miss Director,

this is the eternal law of nature!

lf l heat? l heat and smoke

all the time!

Non stop!

You're welcome.

Best regards for you,

Miss Director!

- Two?

- One, l'm driving.

Shall we start?

Or will we look at each other?

Sign it! Put tomorrow's date.

lt'll be tomorrow!

lt's ok like this!

Show me!

We, the undersigned, after having

checked 538 persons of male sex,

having driven 728 km according

to the counter...

having checked the given addresses,

we certify not to be able to confirm

the presence of the man shown in the photo.

Good.

Sign.

- ln what photo?

- Do you know this guy?

- No.

- So it means you signed the truth.

- Grandma, l'll be the Herod!

- You're too young to play Herod!

- Herod was never young?

- No!

Oh, Jesus! Children!

Pick up these toys. Now!

- Ala, take the bucket!

- What bucket, mummy?

This one. For coal. Run fast...

And a pig trough take too!

Quick children! Where is your father?

He's drunk. He's sleep. Good.

You, old man, wake up! Wake up!

Take the axe! They brought coal!

Coal in the village!

We'll have the war.

Like the last time.

EXPERlMENTAL PLANTATlON

There's one thing l can't understand.

For 2 tons of coal they gave us

a cart full of spruce trees.

- Maybe they needed coal.

- What for?

- To heat in stoves.

- Can't you heat wit a spruce?

lt's even better.

Peasants are ignorant here.

But these guys from the film

they are good in business!

They do!

- l told you that...

- Stopping?

4 hooves and still

asking for the way?!

Living creature feels

that you want to rip it off!

lt's like us. Cannot work

all day long with a dry muzzle.

All right. l'll make it up.

Here. That is your share.

Bottom up!

What? Smell!

The horse is drunk!

Horse? She had a small beer,

l swear. Even half a beer!

On Monday she's going for detox,

they will treat her and she'll be OK.

- Listen.

- l wouldn't' lie to authority!

This horse of yours, she,

she's not only drunk but also dirty!

She's such a slob.

Not always she washes after hard work.

Here you're absolutely right!

What do you think?

What can l tell you?

That you offer us a fine

of 100 zlotys.

You're saying 100 zlotys? All right.

So l add another 100

and together it's 200.

So maybe you would take a spruce,

officer? 230 zlotys each,

this way you make a profit

of 30 zlotys.

Pretty shrub.

Show it to me.

lt's expensive.

Thanks God he didn't ask us about

the trees. We could have problems...

Hey, wait!

Wait! Wait a bit!

Give me one more,

for my brother... will you?

Wait, wait!

What do you mean: give me?

Are we to give it free?

The merchandise costs, no?

All right! Wait, l'm coming back!

Come on, Bob.

Mr Director, my dear,

l saw you in all movies.

ln Polish movies

and foreign and in American.

But this swine,

don't give him even a penny,

or better, send everything to me

because he ran away

to my sister, this b*tch

and this is his child.

He was in court and said

he was in prison,

and when l went twice

to visit him in jail...

...so whose child could it be

if not his.

lt's a child of this swine! Bob, confirm,

so that there's no harm for us.

Say, who is it in this photo?

- Daddy.

- Daddy?

Father!

We're looking for Mr Paluch.

- Can l help you?

- Are you Paluch?

Yes, why?

Maybe you have

a brother, Mr Paluch?

Let me introduce myself, gentlemen.

Zdzislaw Dyrman...

in general...

Mr Hochwander, Chrostowicz.

Have a seat!

- We're looking for Mr Paluch!

- Stanislaw, Stanislaw Paluch.

Zosia!

ls Stach there?

Stach!

Militia for you!

My wife... gentlemen...

Zofia!

This is your share for the trees...

You are like one big family,

here on the set.

The truth of time,

the truth of screen.

Your film tells about the painful

truth of imperialism, yes?

Baying pack of hounds and

the sound of popping champagne

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