Mis terrores favoritos Page #8

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- l'm only carrying the suitcases.

- Don't be bothersome.

Bothersome passenger.

''What if your little son was leaving

with a group of 100 children

and every parent would like to enter?

Can you imagine the crowd? You see?

Don't tell me you don't have a son.

You soon can have one!

Check if the passenger

is not a priest.''

- Excuse me, l have my ticket.

- Come here!

- What's up?

- Would you like a ticket?

- What?

- Do you need a ticket?

Lufthansa, Boac, Swiss Air,

Air France...

- But they aren't valid !

- Valid for entering the airport!

lt's like a platform ticket.

Domestic or foreign?

Can l enter with it?

OK... give me a domestic one!

- 40 zlotys.

- How much?

40. Foreign tickets are cheaper,

30 zlotys...

With a LOT ticket

you'll enter everywhere.

Keep in a cover, don't destroy.

You'll use it for 2 years.

Excuse me, what time today

does this plane at 11:05

fly to London?

How can l know?

Probably at 13:
00!

- Could you...

- Just a moment!

''Passenger Stanislaw Paluch

is requested for immediate boarding.

Mutual friendship and trust are the

basis for the proper functioning

of a basic social cell - family.''

Passenger Stanislaw Paluch.

Please...

Thank you.

- 30th plenum of the ''ZENUM''.

- Excuse me?

That's how we call a day,

when all planes leave on time

and then it's so messy

that we are late with everything!

- Hey, you, latecomer...

- 30th plenum of the ''ZENUM''.

Yeah, yeah!

And that letter which you

prepared and planted?

Wladek got upset and told:

''On Friday you're not flying''.

So l said:
''OK. On Fiday l'm not.

l'm flying on Thursday''!

Obviously he sent a guy

to watch me.

He's sitting there, reading a paper?

lt means he's working...

lmpressive,

they gave you a passport...

Eli? lt's me! l'm calling you because

l can't talk to you.

There are few people at my place.

No, you don't know them.

Foreigners.

lf you would like some wine,

please, help yourself, Jerry.

No, l was saying to a friend.

- And what now?

- Partnership.

- What can l offer you?

- l accept.

You see, vulture?

You lost.

Loosing with you is like winning.

My dear,

could you explain it to me?

Should l fill it in English?

Could you help me?

l'm giving out sweets!

- l'll help you.

- Yes, please.

Surname, name, occupation, address...

- Do you have alcohol?

- Eau de cologne only.

- That's it.

- Thank you.

Look.

Well, well...

Heroine hidden in the

Ryszard Ochdzki's luggage.

This lady told me that l filled in

everything correctly.

What do you think?

Let's search it.

201! Chamberlain speaking...

Yes.

Attention please!

A person who found

a page with the British visa

from the Polish passport

is kindly requested to contact

an lmmigration Office.

l think this is an unhappy woman

with mental problems.

She says, her husband, Ochdzki...

There's no-one of

that name on board.

As soon as we receive

a confirmation of your visa,

you will be free to go.

Yes, but have you

stopped my husband?

He destroyed my passport!

- You must arrest him!

- Yes, of course.

But a passport is just

a piece of paper.

Just a piece of paper.

But unfortunately you won't

be able to see your husband,

he will be detained for

an attempted smuggling

of 80.000 GBP worth heroine.

God, l'm an idiot.

What have l done...

- Have you got smoked ham?

- Sure. This one?

Very juicy.

Good Lord! Dear Ryszard...

How did you arrive...

...here? What a surprise.

You'll stay till Christmas.

You have to stay with us.

So sit down, please and tell me!

The news! The news!

News like news, dear Mr Jan!

The most important is that

you are healthy, thanks God.

And hopefully it will last!

l rush so much

to pick up my box

because l want to go to the bank

with a cheque before they close it.

- You have to eat something.

- l'm not hungry.

- Nobody touched it.

- l know, well.

l'm taking my cheque book,

l'll come later, Mr Jan so we'll talk.

l'd forget the most important thing.

The pebble you asked about.

l brought it from Jelenia Gora.

- From Jelenia Gora?

- From Jasna Gora, the sanctuary.

You know who walked on it.

l'm putting it here.

Dear Mr Jan...

We'll have time tonight to talk

about old Poles. See you...

- But...

- Tonight! Tonight!

l am sorry, l can't cash your check.

l don't understand what

you're telling me,

but l can show you

my documents. Here you are.

My lD. You see. l have it here.

You can check.

Ryszard Ochodzki. Can you see it?

lt's me.

Do l look the same? The same

signature? Check it, please.

Look, sir...

Give it to me. l won't eat it.

- Moment. Pass him to me.

- Can you speak English?

Translate this hammerhead

Because l don't understand anything.

Speak!

Yes?

l've been trying to explain...

Of course, he wants to speak with you.

Yes?

- They are on strike.

- Strike?

Yes. lt's too dark in the office.

And they are on token strike.

lt'll end at 2 o'clock.

8 minutes will save you! Bureaucrat!

You have a strike... My ass!

What an absurd.

You are completely spoilt!

- Long time ago?

- Half an hour ago.

- Are you sure it was him?

- You think l wouldn't recognize him?

lt's 2 pm. The end of strike.

You can cash your check now.

Good morning!

l... would like to...

my money... my money...

Put in... your bank...

An account with a password...

Fersteien?

Why not fersteien?

We understand everything.

Have a seat, please, and wait.

We'll take care of everything.

Mr Jan,

l have such a favour to ask you.

l can't explain it on the phone.

Briefly, could you send such

a telegram to my address in Poland?

Unfortunately l can't come...

l can't come, dear boys.

Kisses for you both. Auntie.

l understand, auntie! That's right!

- Do you have it?

- lf l have what?

- The tickets!

- Tickets! Of course, l don't!

5 hours of standing in a queue, they

closed the counterjust before me.

Thanks God!

You would frame me.

- Do you know what happened?

- What?

Don't talk so much, just help me

take him out, we must take him out.

Why?

- What happened?

- Don't talk that much. Open the car!

Open! You know,

they almost arrested me.

Why? What has happened?

Militia is looking

for this Stach Paluch of yours.

- But they gave him a passport.

- Right!

Don't forget after whose call

they gave him... a passport.

YOUR HEART REMlNDS YOU

lT'S HEALTHlER TO WALK

- Brother goes to the Army?

- Get lost! You fool!

- Good night, my prince...

- Why prince...

A friend from the theatre

has such a saying.

l don't know why.

Today in the afternoon

in Warsaw

new secular tradition has been born:

The Day of Walking Passenger.

This day certainly will enter

our calendar for good.

lnhabitants of Warsaw celebrated this

new gift from tram drivers

with dances and fun. Festivities of

The Day of Walking Passenger

will be closed with

fireworks display.

Drink, there are

greater misfortunes.

- lf you want, l'll buy you a fur...

- A real one?

Real...

Professional basketball players

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