Miss You Already Page #4

Hello, honey.

Knock knock.

- Hi, gorgeous.

- Hiya.

I just wanted to give you a quick heads-up

on the last few days.

Sure.

We've signed a couple of big name clients.

We've got M.I.A. and The National.

Yep, I got the e-mails.

I just wanted to let you know

we're all here for you.

- And your haircut looks amazing.

- It's a wig.

I know. Welcome back.

Thank you.

(JESS) They've stolen all my eggs.

(JAGO) You sound like the Easter Bunny.

(JESS) Did you do your mucky business?

(JAGO) Yeah.

It was really difficult

getting it in that tiny pot.

It was going everywhere.

How much did you lose?

That could be our baby.

Don't worry.

I managed to scrape most of it

off the cubicle wall.

At least I think it was mine.

It works! High five. Hot lava.

So, Milly, the treatment has worked.

But? You've got the "but" voice on.

The "it's worked but" voice.

You know your oncologist

and I had hoped to proceed

with a lumpectomy and radiation.

But based on all of your results

we recommend, at this stage,

to proceed to mastectomy.

No. Hmm-mm.

Milly, this will give us our best chance

of eliminating the cancer.

(MILLY) Well...

Single or...

double?

(DR BUTALA) Because your cancer

is triple negative

and looking

at your genetic testing results...

we advise erring

on the side of caution.

(DIALLING TONE)

Oh, pick up. Pick up, Jess.

(MOBILE VIBRATING)

Jago!

Jago, get in here, baby!

We're gonna need a bigger boat.

My God. Oh, it worked. It worked.

Oh, we'll just put the kid in a drawer.

We're not living in a Dickens' novel.

Oh my God, I can't believe it.

(PHONE VIBRATING)

- Oh. Hello?

- (KIT) 'Jess.'

Have you seen Mills?

No. She phoned earlier

but she didn't leave a message.

Bloody hell, she was meant

to be back hours ago.

Can I call you back?

- (KIT) 'Yeah.'

- OK.

- Where are you going?

- I think I might know where she is.

She managed to get herself

right in the middle of our big moment.

How does she do that?

It's like telepathy.

I love you. Twenty minutes, tops.

- OK?

- Come here.

Please tell me that you're not gonna

do that for the next nine months.

I might.

Hey!

We're having a baby.

- (WOMAN) Cheers.

- Yeah.

(CHEERING)

(MILLY) We need more, please.

Southern cowboys, please.

Oh, it's my best friend

and partner in crime!

- Hi, best friend.

- Hello, sweetheart.

Who are your friends?

This is Ron and Jeremy.

My new drinking buddies.

Nice to meet you.

Ron. Jeremy.

What do you fancy?

A bit of black or a bit of white?

All right.

Back to the bar, now!

Right now!

No, just leave your arse,

so I can play with it.

What the hell is wrong with you?

Kit's worried sick.

- Well, I'm in mourning.

- Who died?

My tits.

It's... it' happening.

(BURPS)

I'm sorry.

All right, I'm gonna go to the bar.

To pay the tab, Sister Mary.

Hi, Kit. Yeah.

No, I've got her, everything's fine.

- (AMERICAN ACCENT) You OK, Milly?

- Ah! You knew my name?

I make a point of learning all the names

of my favourite customers.

And it's on your credit card.

OK.

Can I ask you something?

Yeah. Shoot.

Are these breasts

that you would want to touch?

Yeah. Well, yes.

That means a lot. Thank you.

Any time.

- Any time?

- Yeah, any time.

One whiff of booze

and you act just like your mother.

That is the worst thing

you have ever said to me!

Whoa! Last time

I'm letting you drive my vehicle.

- God, I hate this car.

- Abrupt stop. My gosh!

(JESS) I did it, I got you home.

(MILLY) You are a terrible driver.

This is a spaceship.

Oh, Jess, I have always,

always wanted to be wanted.

Always needed to know

that if I turn around on the street,

someone will be looking at my arse.

Well, you know they always are, honey.

Oh my God, I am so vain.

You know that.

I know.

I have spent so much money

and time on me.

And it looks good.

But I'm just, I'm so superficial.

I am, I'm superficial.

And I have a huge...

ego.

I know.

But, you know,

I'm gonna look like a mutant.

Who's gonna give a sh*t about me then?

Me.

In you go.

Get that hot arse in there.

(MILLY) These cobblestones

are the bane of my existence!

How do those Italian b*tches do it?

All right, I miss you already.

(JESS) Miss you already.

All right, my little angels.

Dinner is ready.

- Fish and chips.

- From the chip shop?

No, from the fish shop and the potato shop.

Smells like baked wee.

Uh-huh. Oh, well I'm guessing

you won't want seconds.

- Hello, everyone.

- Oh, hello, Miranda.

Would you like some fish and chips?

- From the chip shop?

- No, they're home-made.

- Boo.

- (SCARLET, BEN AND MIRANDA) Boo!

Thank you, everybody.

Did you go shopping?

One of the lovely costume girls

from the show got me a discount.

It's for Milly. It's a post-op bra.

(JESS) Oh, wow.

It has little cutlets.

(MIRANDA) Just until they say that she's

healthy enough for reconstruction.

Fingers crossed.

- I think I'm gonna pop upstairs.

- Good idea.

All right, you guys. Come on, let's eat.

Come on, sit down.

- Auntie Jess.

- Hmm? Yes?

Is mum dead?

What?

- Is mum dead?

- Honey, no. She's in the hospital.

When Ella's mum died

she got a scooter and a Nintendo.

You want mum to die

so you can get a Nintendo?

I don't think that's what he was saying.

Actually she's coming home tonight.

- Why would you say that?

- He didn't mean it.

- Don't throw things at him!

- (SCARLET) Why would he say that!

- Please don't fight.

- You bumhead!

- Honey, I want you to sit down...

- You're a bumhead and I hate you!

- First of all, sit down.

- How about I go to the chip shop?

(BEN) Yes!

- (MIRANDA) OK, I will.

- Great.

The surgeon said it...

it's a great success.

- Could you...?

- Yeah.

I can't...

You don't have to show me.

I want you to see.

OK.

Jesus.

Well...

Come on, Franken-tits.

Let's get you bandaged up.

Here.

Oh... oh.

What do you need?

The... serum.

- What's that?

- The green bottle.

The expensive-looking one.

Bit more, bit more.

No, no. No, up, upward motion.

What am I, a facialist?

- Oh, maybe I am.

- Don't hit me.

(JESS) Sorry.

(KIT) Cheers, Jess.

Honey.

You're in good hands.

- Thank you. See you tomorrow.

- Thank you.

(KIT) Hello.

How is the patient?

These drugs are so good.

Would you mind holding my handbag?

(KIT) Oh, don't.

God. Stop it.

(KIT) Open wide.

I always wanted to say that to you.

- Cheese.

- Cheese.

I think you've got too many teeth.

I think you do.

How many teeth do you have?

(JAGO) Jess, you should tell her.

I know, I'm sorry.

I just don't wanna rub it in

that my life is great right now.

She'll resent you more

if you don't tell her.

I'm telling Kit.

- It's my news, too.

- Jay!

Please, let me tell her in my own time.

Fine, I won't.

And I'm not gonna enjoy

this bottle of beer either.

I wish it was a bottle of glue

and it would keep your lips shut.

Oh, that was horrible.

- I hate you right now.

- Yeah, I know you do.

I'm raging with hormones.

I wanna rip your face off.

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