Miss You Already Page #5

Why don't you kiss my face off?

- Right, we gotta go. Come on.

- (JAGO) Oh, wow.

- Got everything?

- Breast pump. Yes, please.

It doesn't make them bigger.

Oh.

Here, do you want a hand?

Get your shirt off.

That looks good.

Do you wanna say something?

Well...

No, it's not that.

It's nothing...

It's nothing to do with...

Oh, idiot, idiot, idiot.

( SARAH JACKSON-HOLMAN:

"WHEN YOU DREAM")

Fill your head with the ocean

Fill your head with the sea

And dream of being with me

Being with me

With me

With me

With me

- (MAN) How are the breasts?

- Excuse me?

Sorry, I just haven't seen them in a while.

Oh, God. Yes. Ace, right?

Ah, wow, you remembered.

I'm special.

I was beginning to think

you show those bad boys to everybody.

I'm not showing them to anyone any more.

That is a very great shame.

I'll say. They're in a bin somewhere.

Mastectomy. Double.

Well...

Wow.

So, you're not working today or...

No. I quit the bar.

- Got a better job.

- Where?

Going up North, to Yorkshire.

- Yorkshire.

- (YORKSHIRE ACCENT) Up in Yorkshire.

I got family up there so...

Yeah, I don't know, should be fun.

I'm a travelling man, I guess.

Yeah, I'll miss you.

Do you wanna get a coffee

that isn't covered in pumpkin sh*t?

You know what?

I could murder a cold beer.

Yeah. Yeah, let's go get crazy.

You wanna go take a bite out of this world.

What did you get for the...

You celebrate this? Look at...

Oh, yeah!

- You bought this for yourself, didn't you?

- Oh, you know me too well.

Got to go to the little boys' room,

there'll be a surprise.

( THE ALL AMERICAN REJECTS:

"THERE'S A PLACE")

Come here,

I got a special micro-brewery to show you.

It will give us both

something to find

What I find today

I always keep those yesterdays

in mind

All I wanted

Is to be wanted

Can't you do something

that doesn't involve

being out at sea

for weeks and months at a time

during force twenty force gale winds?

Not for that kind of money.

I could sell my kidneys,

then we could buy a car

and a whole new drawer to put the baby in.

You've already put your name

on the roster?

When do you go?

I dunno. Depends on the weather.

They'll wait till it gets really,

really bad.

(PHONE BLEEPING)

Sh*t!

- About time, Milly.

- What? I e-mailed you.

Jesus, who cares if I'm a few minutes late?

Er... everyone.

(ALL) Surprise!

(WOMAN) Happy Birthday.

There was this King, King George,

and he liked things big

and he liked things round.

Just so you know,

I had no knowledge of this party.

Kit did it all on his own.

Which is very nice but...

Don't be mad at me

because I didn't know anything.

I've got some good ones.

I've got some good ones.

This is when they went to Ibiza and you...

well, you both went missing for two weeks.

That was before cell phones.

And this was when you went away

and birthday girl...

That was right after Milly ate

organic mushrooms.

OK! Now that's enough of that.

- Speech!

- No, no, no.

Speech! Let's hear how interesting you are.

- So thank you all for coming tonight.

- (WOMAN) Free booze!

Firstly, can I just make it clear

that this is not my 40th.

So thank you for the lavish party

but not quite the big 4-0 just yet.

Thank you, Kira.

I know everyone's enjoying

eating this expensive meal

and sucking on these chocolate balls

whilst looking at my wig

and looking for tit scars.

No.

Er... and what else? Hm...

Oh, yeah.

I'm not dead yet so let's drink to that!

Not dead!

What?

- What made you think I would want this?

- I don't know what you want.

- No, come on.

- Don't you dare!

(WOMAN) I hope that's not the end

of the free bar.

(MILLY) Don't follow me

like an old Battersea dog.

Excuse me.

You've had enough of that.

What? You spent most of your 20's

face down

in a vat-full of Jack Daniels.

Yeah, then I grew up.

Milly, get back in the party.

- No, it's a sh*t party!

- I'm enjoying myself.

Oh, well that's good, that's important.

Because it's your night, isn't it?

It's a bit of limelight

for the heroic spouse.

That's why I booked

your favourite restaurant

and paid for your inbred cousins

to come all the way up here!

I'll reimburse you the 47.50 petrol money

for the campervan.

You have no clue how long it took me

to organise people that you care about

to come all the way down here.

No clue!

(MILLY) Well done you.

Now you've got your database

for when you arrange my funeral.

(JESS) Wait!

(JESS) Are you OK?

(MILLY) No!

(JAGO) F***, I don't know

how you put up with it.

- Get off!

- Whoa, whoa...

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

It's getting too much.

- She's the mother of my kids.

- It's all right.

Come on inside. Come on, Kit.

(MILLY) Has he not lived with me

for the last ten years?

I just wanted to spend the evening

with the four of us.

If another person looks at me

with sad eyes and says,

"Oh, you look so well, Milly,"

I am going to projectile vomit!

Was I awful?

No, driver, just go straight. Straight.

- Wait, this isn't the way home.

- We're not going home.

Can you take us here, please?

Hey, mind the...

It's too far.

No, no, no, no,

you don't understand.

I have a very healthy credit card

and I am a massive tipper.

- OK.

- Whoo!

(JESS) Let me see that.

Let me see your phone.

This is 250 miles away.

You know what?

Sir, you can just drop me off right here.

Driver, do not stop. Keep driving.

Jess, Jess, Jess,

think of it as an adventure.

We'll find a little place

just for the two of us to stay

and we can have crumpets by the fire.

Come on, it's my birthday.

Look, I'll make you a deal.

I will get you some clean clothes.

Some nice clean underwear

because I know how fond you are

of crusty gussets.

Why do you suck me

into this sh*t?

(MILLY) Yeah, turn right here.

There's a little shop here.

(MILLY) All right, I'm going in.

Some new knickers coming right up.

I'll be back.

Watch yourself

going across the street, please.

Jay, I know it's mental

but she's always wanted to see the moors.

"Wuthering Heights".

What is she? Kate frickin' Bush?

'Where are you staying?'

'God, I've no idea.'

I can't take much more of this.

Well, I'll tell her about the baby.

Well, that makes it all right, then.

Jess, you don't have to indulge

her every bonkers whim, you know.

Try saying no to someone with cancer.

(JAGO) 'She hasn't got cancer any more.'

(JESS) Now you're the expert.

I'll call you later.

You know, my wife, she had it.

I wish we had done something like this.

It's good what you do for your friend.

Do I know how to shop.

Shove over, come on, quick.

Ah, that was so much fun!

It made me feel so good!

(JESS) You smell like a brewery.

You know what, I got us some vodka.

Let's have a drink!

(JESS) What?

(MILLY) All right, now listen. I've got us

matching boots for our hearty hike...

- up in the moors.

- (JESS) Oh, good, you got hats, too.

(MILLY) Say hello Big Ben.

Did you get pyjamas?

Yes, I got some tantalising,

titillating titbits for you.

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