Monkeybone Page #21

A distraught JULIE mutes the TV. Her friend ALICE is on the sofa beside

her, having coffee and dessert.

JULIE:

The thing is, I'm responsible for the way he's

acting. It's the nightmare juice. It's got to

be.

ALICE:

Julie, that stuff probably saved his life.

JULIE:

I can't explain this, Alice, but I'm not so sure

it did. It's as if...he's not Stu any more. The

Stu I love is gone!

(beat)

He spends all his time in the garage. He says

he's...autographing.

INT. GARAGE - NIGHT

TIGHT ON the flask of ONEIRIX as STU-BONE picks it up.

He's wearing a GAS MASK. He's rigged a CLOTHESLINE in the garage.

MONKEYBONE DOLLS are clipped to it, ass-end up - forming a makeshift

ASSEMBLY LINE. He dips a TURKEY BASTER into the flask...withdraws a

quantity of purple fluid...plucks the FINGER out of the first doll's

behind...

- and plunges the TURKEY BASTER into the doll's hindquarters, filling it

with ONEIRIX!! The doll's buttocks take on the purple hue characteristic

of Orangutans in heat. STU-BONE holds the doll at arm's length and pulls

its finger - launching a purple puff of SPIKED NIGHTMARE GAS.

STU-BONE

Yeah, baby! Nightmare-in-a-butt!

(looking around)

Okay...guinea pig, guinea pig...

EXT. GARAGE/BACK YARD - NIGHT

STU-BONE steps out into the driveway and hears a low growl - BUSTER is

giving him the stinkeye from behind the picket fence. STU-BONE's eyes

light up with inspiration.

STU-BONE

C'mere, boy...c'mere, ole buddy...

INT. LIVING ROOM - A MOMENT LATER - NIGHT

LOUD BARKING outside. JULIE wanders over toward the window.

ALICE:

Listen. Let's bring him in for some tests. I

guarantee you're overreacting.

JULIE lifts the curtain - and sees STU-BONE in his gas mask, bent over

in a weird crab like stance, chasing BUSTER around the yard with the

Monkeybone doll.

JULIE doesn't seem especially surprised - but ALICE's mouth falls open.

JULIE:

Actually, no, I don't think I'm overreacting.

EXT. BACK YARD - THAT MOMENT - NIGHT

BUSTER is apparently ALONE now - he's pacing in circles under a HIGH

TREE BRANCH, staring up and GROWLING. Someone throws a PINE CONE at the

picket fence. BUSTER'S HEAD TURNS, just for an instant -

STU-BONE

KREEEGAHHHH!!!

- and STU-BONE plunges out of the tree, DIRECTLY ON TOP OF THE DOG! The

two of them GRAPPLE, rolling around on the grass.

For a moment it looks like this battle royale could go either way. Then

STU-BONE gets on top of BUSTER, STRADDLES HIM, shoves the ASS of the

Monkeybone doll up against his muzzle...

FOONT! A purple cloud of NIGHTMARE GAS hits BUSTER in the face. The dog

goes limp. His eyes roll back in his head. He starts to TWITCH.

STU-BONE

Sweet dreams, you little bastard!

Disheveled but triumphant, STU-BONE stands up, pounds his chest with

both fists, and lets out a Tarzanian ROAR. Lights go on all over the

neighborhood. ANGRY NEIGHBORS poke their heads out the windows.

INT. GARAGE - NIGHT

STU-BONE skulks back into the garage. He throws back a tarp, revealing

HUNDREDS of boxed Monkeybone dolls, stacked so high they fill an entire

wall of the garage. He pulls out his turkey baster, cranks up the

clothesline, and goes to work.

EXT. BACK YARD - THAT MOMENT - NIGHT

CAMERA TRACKS IN on the twitching face of BUSTER, and we see

BUSTER'S DREAM (BLACK & WHITE)

A German-expressionist nightmare, all low angles and heavy shadows.

We're in some kind of OPERATING ROOM, where a struggling PATIENT is

being wheeled in on a tall, creaking GURNEY. Four ORDERLIES in surgical

masks are holding him down.

The PATIENT is BUSTER. And the ORDERLIES...are CATS.

A CAT SURGEON draws the sheet back. Looks at the spreadeagled BUSTER.

And brandishes a big nasty pair of GARDEN SHEARS.

INT. HYP'S HIDEAWAY - THAT MOMENT - NIGHT

The Dark Town audience is scratching its collective head at Buster's

dream, which is showing in one of HYP'S NIGHTMARE ORBS. An angry HYPNOS

slams down the phone and storms across the dance floor to his big

circular bed.

HYPNOS:

Dog dreams!! That stinkin' monkey. I can't

believe it. We give him a body, and he sends us

...dogs.

A FELINE BEAUTY embraces him from behind, pulls him onto the bed.

KITTY:

Let's not think about dogs. Let's think about

pussycats. Meeowwwwwwrrrr....

She draws ONE SHARP CLAW lightly down his chest. He gives her a now-

you're-talkin' grin and hits a switch - causing the big circular bed to

ROTATE off the dance floor and into the boudoir.

As it turns, we see KITTY'S PAW closing discreetly around a KEY CHAIN on

the nightstand...

INT. DUNGEON - RIGHT

STU's curled up on the dank floor when he's awakened by the sound of a

VISITOR in the corridor outside - KITTY. She passes a sack containing

FOOD and BOTTLED WATER through the bars - and SHUSHES the astonished STU

before he can speak.

KITTY:

Shh! You'll need it when you're traveling.

Glancing back at the GUARDS, she pulls a KEY from her cleavage.

KITTY:

Don't ask where I got it.

STU:

You can't do this! You'll get in trouble!

KITTY:

You're the only true-hearted man I ever met. You

find a way back to that girl of yours and make

her happy.

STU:

How am I gonna get past the guards?

KITTY:

I'll worry about the guards.

(loudly)

OKAY, STU. SEE YOU IN A DAY OR TWO.

She turns down the corridor. STU stands there for a beat, GAPING at the

key in his hand.

Then he hears the sound of CARNAGE outside. A FEROCIOUS, BLOODY BATTLE

seems to be underway. Realizing that KITTY must be in trouble, he uses

the key to unlock the dungeon door.

INT. DUNGEON - THAT MOMENT - NIGHT

He finds KITTY hunched in the corner on all fours, surrounded by blood

and tufts of fur and an abandoned GUARD'S HAT.

KITTY:

Go. Just go.

STU:

Thanks, Kitty, I'll never forget you for th--

She looks up at him, feline eyes aglow. There's a three-foot-long

RODENT'S TAIL dangling out of her mouth.

STU:

I'll really...never...forget you.

He races off as KITTY resumes her feast. The sound of fighting has

roused the other DUNGEON DWELLERS, and when they realize the dungeon

door is open they come rushing out en masse.

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